Thursday, November 29, 2007

She came in through the bathroom window

The sun is shining right in my eyes. I'm in my car heading home. I have my sunglasses on but the sun goes right through them. I'm too tall to put the visor down. If I do then it covers my vision and I can't see anything. Fortunately I'm tall enough to get shade from the tinted top of the front window to my car.

I'm stuck at a light that is taking forever to change. In an endless sea of cars and exhaust. The former Wonder Bread truck turned contractor truck on my side is spewing exhaust all over the street. So much so that I had to close the window on the passenger side of the car to keep from suffocating. As I stare straight ahead the exhaust fumes flow over my car like thick fog.

I have my mp3 player plugged in and its currently playing Otis Redding's "Dreams to Remember". His words float around my head and make me think of everything that's been happening as of late, and how I'm getting ready to change it all again.

As the light turns I realize that I'll be sitting here longer. There is no way I'm going to make it all the way through the intersection while the light is green. I move up about 6 spaces before it turns red again, and begin the 5 minute waiting process all over again.

I touch the top of my lip where I cut myself shaving the day before. I cut it really bad but it's healed so well that you couldn't even tell now. And I think about how it happend.

Mix Tape Girl called me a few days ago. Her parents were cooking dinner, and they wanted me to go over. I thought it was weird as usually MTG is the one to ask me over. But her parents wanted me to come this time. Though extremely late at night for dinner. 10 PM? Okay?? I went over and MTG wasn't home just her parents. She had gone to the store with her sisters to get a few things. I knocked and knocked and rang the door bell once too. No one was coming to the door, I thought they were pulling a prank on me. After about 5 minutes or so her mum finally showed up in her night gown. "Oh MTG isn't back yet?" she said. She invited me in. I felt like I shouldn't be there for some reason. There were few lights on and I really didn't smell any food. Her dad was actually already laying down in bed.

MTG showed up a minute after her mum let me inside. I helped her and her sisters with grocery bags. Dinner was already prepared but was pretty cool, thus no real odor. Her dad came out after getting dressed again. I was thinking am I late or something? But I wasn't. This was odd. Her dad said hello and the usual greeting. A couple more of their friends showed up, so at least I didn't feel so alone. MTG set the table and brought out the food. Setting aside a spot for me next to her. We all sat down to eat making small talk.

Her father however seemed to enjoy me being there for whatever reason. But after some wine this kinda seemed to change. It went from polite chit chat to little playful insults that he was throwing at me in front of everyone. Having a few cups of wine myself I was quite amazed that I was able to turn these insults into jokes quite quickly. (Me being the subject of the joke that is) This went on pretty much the rest of the night. Their other friends who got back from a trip began showing her father and I some pictures of their trip. Nice pics but their laptop screen was so dark to me that I could barely see all but the brightest pictures. While looking at the pictures it ended up just being MTG's dad, one of their friends, and myself looking at them. MTG's dad sipping wine and throwing an soft insult or two every so often for kicks.

MTG was in the living room with her other friend copying a CD for her. After the second part of the dark picture show was done I decided I had enough insults that I wanted to leave. I excused myself and said a quick goodbye and left. MTG pre-occupied with putting songs on the CD that I just waved bye to her.

I was thoroughly tired when I got home. I stripped off my clothes and threw myself into bed. It had finally gotten super cold down here so I had a ton of covers on me. I wrapped myself in a cocoon of blankets and fell into a deep sleep. So deep in fact that I never heard MTG come in the house in the middle of the night. (3 am) I didn't notice until I felt the light from the bathroom come on. The dim light shining on my face while the bathroom door was partly closed. At first I kinda panicked and wondered who's in the house. But then I made out MTG's silhouetted from the light, even though I never put my glasses on.

MTG slinked across the room in the darkness. Being careful not to step on the paperwork I have lying all over the floor. I have tons of paperwork around in piles that needs to be filled out before I register my business that I'm starting. Each type in its own unique pile. I'm almost fully asleep again when I feel MTG crawl into bed. I expected her to just cocoon herself like me and go to bed but she didn't. The next thing I know she's leaning over me. I turn around to see her face. It's lightly coloured in the darkness but I can still see into her eyes. "How..when did you get in here?" I ask. "Just a minute ago, through the bathroom window," she giggles. "I'm sorry about tonight" she said softly. "Believe it or not dad really likes you. It was his idea you come over." she continues. I'm looking at her in the eyes. Mine small and sleepy, hers still awake and bright. I'm thinking though that its not the best thing to invite someone over and poke fun at them, even if you are just being playful. Well one or two is okay but not all night. But I just stare into her eyes, and say "It's okay. It was probably just the wine." My voice muffled as the only part of me showing are my nose and eyes from my cocoon. MTG leans forward more, pulling the blankets from my face at the same time, her hair falling on my face. Her breath is cold from brushing her teeth. She rubs her nose against mine. "Oh my word," she says, "your nose if freezing." I laugh as this is because that's the only part of me visible when I'm in my blanket cocoon, I still have to breathe somehow so I leave a breathing hole in it. She gently rubs my nose with her fingers and kisses it till its warm. I say nothing as she does this. I'm actually far to sleepy to respond. I end up sharing my cocoon with her, our limbs intertwined in warmth. Before we fall asleep she asks me, "How'd you know grandma would be ok?" I don't tell her how I truly know, I just say it must be intuition.

As I get ready for work the following morning, MTG comes up behind me while I'm shaving. She surprises me by putting her freezing cold hands on the back of my neck. Unfortunately I was shaving the top of my lip between my nose and nostril and the startle made me slice it my that small piece of flesh wide opened. The cut is not wide but very deep. (For some reason I'm one of the few guys left to shave with a straight edge and not a regular razor.) MTG's laughter turns to horror as blood trickles down my mouth and chin. She quickly gets a towel and smushes it into my face. It hurts worse when she does this, it only succeeds in getting blood all over my face and in my mouth, which the tang of it tastes funny when I speak to her. After a couple of minutes I stop bleeding and wash my face and finish shaving. MTG putting some anti-biotic stuff on the cut, that burns like hell. She looks sad and keeps apologizing. I tell her not to worry its just a cut, it hurts like hell but is just a cut.

It's still early so we decide to stop at a cafe for breakfast. MTG looking through a jewelry magazine she got in the mail. Cooing over a few things. Saying it would be nice to get this and pointing to something, but jokingly. I do my best to not tell her I bought her X-mas gifts already and its pretty much exactly what she's pointing at. I hid the gifts in a box that was far too heavy for me to carry yet. Placing the gifts in a box full of electronics that weighed probably 150 plus pounds, which I don't think I've been cleared to pick up stuff that heavy yet. Next time I'll think of something easier. (Sock drawer!! Hello?!?!)

As I think of this the muscle I pulled in my chest lifting that stupid box over my head in the garage starts to hurt. The light finally turns green and I have enough time to make it through. As I approach the next light the MP3 player plays "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window," and my mind starts to think again.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Standing Outside a Hospital Room..

The telle in the hospital waiting room is almost on silent. The weather man's voice is barely audible, through the sounds of the hospital around me and the giant group of MTG's family that is around. People I've never met are pacing back and forth. I'm sitting in the corner by the window, looking outside then to the telle then back outside again.

No MTG is not in the hospital, thank goodness. But her grandma is. We've been going pretty much every day that she's been in there. Her health failing and her situation critical. MTG is worried and emotional, the bags under her eyes tell the story of her staying up late with her grandma at the hospital, with the rest of her family. The hospital is in another city close to where I lived many years ago during the prime of my gypsy life. I never thought I'd have to come to this place again.

I really don't know any of these people asides from MTG's parents, and siblings. I sit in the corner and make myself invisible. Friends and family come and go. I'm sitting by myself most of the time, as MTG is in the room with her grandma. Her family is worried and concerned. It's only natural. I look out the window and see that the wind if finally picking up. It almost reached 90 degrees again today. Way too hot for this time of year. The wind starts blowing violently, the cold front expected finally arrived.

From time to time MTG comes into the waiting room. This is when she takes the time to introduce more family to me. I smile politely and give my condolences. Most of them forget that I'm there afterwards. Which is best. Her dad's too busy looking after his mum to be grilling me or giving me the evil eye. But it doesn't stop a few of her other family from doing so. Particularly other uncles who give me the kung-fu grip of death when I shake their hands, I reply with the same to earn some respect. Although mostly my cheeks are a bit red and sore from the amount of pinching her aunties have done. Apparently they think I'm cute.

The doctor comes in and tells them a few things. MTG grabs my hand and we walk towards the room. I really don't want to go in there. In my life I've seen deaths face far too many times. We go in and there are nurses working about. Her grandma hooked up to machines. But she's still plenty conscience. MTG introduces me to her and she pinches my cheek. She mumbles a few words and I smile politely back. I've never meet this woman, but here I am in her hospital room watching what could be her last breaths. More and more family come in and I try to stand in the corner out of the way. Most of them say nothing about me being there, but I get a few looks like "Who the hell are you?" After a few minutes of this I take my cue to leave.

MTG's grandma, doesn't have death's eyes yet. In fact if you ask me, I say that she's not going anywhere anytime soon. But the doctors say she's critical as do the machines. I give a look to MTG and tell her I'm going to go outside for some air. I hate being in hospitals. As I walk outside, the cold wind immediately slaps my face. It feels wonderful compared to the hot 100% humidity soaked air of the earlier part of the day.

I make my way to a small courtyard with benches, apparently this is the smoking area as not long after I sit, some employees show up for a cigarette break. As I sit there watching the leaves shuffle by I think, and take in the smell of the Marlboro's that the employees are smoking. All I can think of is why I'm there. Until today I've never meet this person or the rest of MTG's family and think that I'm just in the way than anything else. And for what ever reason I have the Primitive Radio God's "Standing Outside a Broken Phone-booth with Money In My Hand," on a continuous loop in my head. My dad calls at that moment and I tell him what's going on. He tells me that I'm there to support MTG above all else, and that even though I don't know anyone else or feel like I'm simply in the way, just being there is being there for her. This makes sense to me.

MTG comes and finds me a few minutes after that. She says that the doctor gave her nanna some stuff to relax her. And that she's sleeping. She holds my hand as we walk back to the room. When we get there her nanna opens her eyes at us and smiles. I still don't see anything telling me she's ready to pass yet. How do I know this? Ever since I was a kid I've just been able to tell when someone was going to pass. I dunno how, or why I just can. I never really told anyone this, but when it comes down to it, I'm 6 for 6 on telling this kind of thing. Though I didn't share with anyone. It actually freaks me out, I hate being able to tell this, its morbid, but fortunately I can only tell with extremely sick people. When my uncle passed away earlier this year I didn't tell my cousin or aunt that the day after I visited him for the last time (2 days before he died) that night I dreamed of the day and time he would pass and funeral home he would be at. As usual I was spot on with all accounts. Would it make a difference if I told them? My uncle was tripping on morphine and was basically a veg when he passed. Could they have prepared themselves? Ill never know as I never told them.

While staring at the floor I'm suddenly roused by the sound of MTG's stomach growling. "Have you eaten anything?," I ask. She doesn't respond, she's looking at her nanna. Her dad comes towards me and hands me a 20, and instructs me to take her to eat something. She doesn't want to go but after some nudging we leave. One of her sisters and a couple of cousins come with us. We go to a small restaurant and all get hamburgers. While we wait for our food, MTG gets extremely quiet. We all sit in silence for a moment listening to "Crimson and Clover" by Tommy James & The Shondells being piped over the restaurants, P.A. system. It gets too quite so I just start saying a joke about a lady with a baby that looks like a monkey. I make MTG's sister and cousins laugh so hard that her sister spews Coke from her nose. Our tensions relax after that. While MTG's sister is cleaning the mess I made her make, she puts her head on my shoulder and whispers to me, "I don't want her to go." I think of the pain her nanna is in and know it would be for the better if she quickly passed from the cancer, instead of suffering. But I feel that will not be the case. All I can tell her is that she'll still be around for a while. I see a phone on the wall and the Primitive Radio God's starts playing in my head again.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Parlez-vous Klingon?

Ah..comics. I read them regularly as I have ever since my brother got me hooked on Spider-man when I was a wee little Dodger. However note that I didn't say I collected them. I get them read them and recycle them. Or donate them to some place where kids might like them.

I couldn't really tell you all of the story arcs, or new characters. I'm only aware of a few things, in comic book land. Why do I speak of this you might ask yourself? Well, it's a most interesting story.

The comic shop where I frequent is very nice. They guys (and gal) that works there are very nice. Yeah they know their comic stuff but it's not like going in and that's all they talk about. Far from it. The best way I can describe it is like "Championship Vinyl" on High Fidelity. (Albeit they can be comic snobs from time to time. And look down on someone who thinks they know what their talking about when they don't.) They talk about the stuff with customers but they don't live it. Well most of them anyways. The manager guy that I've know for a few years is actually really smart. He just graduated from college, and is going to get married. When talking to him he doesn't talk about the latest books etc. In fact all of them really don't unless their asked by customers. (I've gone out with a few of them for drinks and we talked about anything else but comics.)
I usually go in every few weeks to see what's new and pick up a Batman comic or see what looks interesting. I like their shop because they also carry off the wall comics, that are more just pop art/poetry stuff than regular comics. This is were I found the amazing short book (The Plain Janes, which I highly recommend). Anyways, it's still a comic shop. So you get the geeks and nerds in too. I consider myself a slight geek. (As in I'm aware of geeky things but not much)

So I stop by today to browse around. The guys behind the counter are just there shootin' the shit as they say. The manager guy I know comes and says hello, and tells me what's up and we just talk. I peruse around aimlessly looking for something new and interesting. A few moments later a bunch of kids show up. The manager informs me that their going to have a "Magic" the gathering meeting for people to play in. A couple of the guys into that take care of the whole thing in the back game room they set up. (I've yet to venture into there, out of sheer fear.) It's mostly teenage kids but there's some odd adults too. The guys working there put on their best faux smiles and politely answer questions. It's their jobs.

A girl walks in wearing a red cape and I dunno who to describe it...uhm...damsel dress. (I kid you not) She talks about herself in the third person, and to make it worse she has three guys catering to her every command. All of us there stop what were doing and just stare. Having all our "WTF?" faces on. They go to the back game room. We all laugh once their out of earshot. But that was not the worst to come. Not a few minutes after that, a group of (I kid you not) Klingons walk in. The girl that works there turns around and walks towards me laughing and saying "Oh-my-God."

The...ahem..Klingons, all grunt in unison and do their salute thing. Next thing I know..the head Klingon (I kid you not) is asking the manager something, in Klingon. Me I would've busted out laughing. I guess the managers' been through this before. Without flinching or even looking up from a form he was filling out he says, "You're gonna have to speak English. I don't speak Klingon."

The head Klingon says something back to his group in Klingon and they all laugh in unison. He then proceeds to ask the manager stuff in English. After which they go back into the game room too. I'm thumbing through a comic of Last of the Mohican's, that's actually pretty well done. It's spot on with the novel. But as soon as their gone I can't stop laughing. I laugh so hard I start to cry. I ask the manger, "Parle-vous Klingon?" He busts out laughing. "Can you believe that crap? I swear next time that happens I'm calling this gaming thing off." "But it's Magic. Who the hell comes as a Klingon for a Magic game?" exclaims one of the other workers. "Or at least as something cool, like a Wookie," says another.

"I think I'm gonna stop coming here. It's too creepy." I jokingly say. Either that or brush up on Klingon.

"shQUo duCh!!" Whatever the hell that means.

On a downer though, I think MTG purposefully gave me her bugs. My throat is starting to get scratchy and my nose runny. Nuts!! I wonder if there's a phrase for "Aww..crap" in Klingon?

Friday, November 16, 2007

So much for that

So it's my turn to take care of MTG. She woke up all sick today. Ewwww.....I say as I tease her. She retaliates by smearing her hand on me every times she uses it to cover her mouth when she coughs. Wretched. She's got some sort of bug and is out of it. The doctor gave her pills and told her to rest. It's not the flu but it's some bug. So it's my turn to take care of her. Although carrying her to bed when she was running a fever hurt a bit. She's still tiny but I don't think I'm supposed to carry more than 30 pounds just yet. Or so said my doctor, due to the surgery. But I got her upstairs and managed to put her to bed and wrap her in warm covers.

It's cold down here again!! Yay!!! It was almost 90 degrees for most of the week!! Can you believe that!! It's crazy. But it should get close to freezing tonight. I love the cold. I thrive in it. I get all energized and happy. I must have polar bear blood in me cause it just makes me feel so good. The colder the better. Oh and I sleep so well when its cold. Which people who stay over (and sometimes Mix Tape Girl) complain about especially at night when I drop the temp to sub-zero. But I have too if not I'll never fall asleep.

I was going to post this nice elaborate posting but it got too late. I was at my desktop putting music on a new Muvo 100 that I got just for my car. But I screwed up and basically erased 2 and a half hours of configuration and custom sorting and play-lists. All because as soon as I started syncing the music, I remembered one song that I forgot to add. So I stopped the sync. Well once you stop you can't start again without erasing everything and starting over. Stupid me didn't save the settings and it all went bye-bye. D'oh!!! All because of one song. And I had it all mapped out the way I want it. Crap. I'll have to do it all over tomorrow.

Well its late. I think I'm off to bed and wrap myself in oversized blankets and make a cocoon till morning. Have a good weekend.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Tick, Tick, Tick

2:30 PM

"See you all later," I say on my way out from work. I'm on my way to my doctors follow-up visit. I thought it was at 3:30 but they called to confirm and I found out it was at 3 pm. D'oh!!

I hurry to my car as I only have 30 mins to get to the Medical Center half-way across town. As usual people get in the way and go slow. It seems like its on purpose but I know its not. I weave in and out and make my way slowly to the doctor's office. The highway is quick but it takes forever at the lights.

2:50 pm

I'm stuck at a light. I could have pressed the gas and ran through the yellow light. But it probably would have turned red and someone would have hit me, as the intersection is very large. I sit and wait.

2:53 pm

Make it past the light to the other light in front of the doctor's office. Wait at light.

2:55 pm

Light finally turns green for me to turn. I turn and rush into the parking lot. It's a pay to park lot so I have to grab a parking ticket before I can even go in. I park in the first available spot and grab a magazine/book to read from my courier bag. I rush inside the building.

2:59 pm

The elevator I get in at the building sounds like its going to fall apart. The doors clang open when it arrives on the 1st floor. I get in and hope for the best. I rush into the doctor's office with a minute to spare.

3 pm

I look at the parking pass. The first 30 mins are free, 1 hour is a dollar and so on. I don't know how long I'll be waiting. I think to myself. Does the parking attendant take the bank card? I don't have any actual money on me. There's no ATM in this building? Crap I only have $1.05 on me in change.

3:10 pm

Still in the waiting room. I'm reading my book (it's actually a literary magazine with short stories, poems, and interviews with authors) that I picked up at Barnes and Nobles. I read a couple of really interesting fiction stories and a few poems. I look at my watch. My free 30 mins is almost up, is all I can think.

3:25 pm

Oh no, still in the waiting room!! What if it takes forever? I'll have to go walk to find a bank or something to get some cash. I check my wallet. Dammit!! I left my bank card on the table at home. I took it out yesterday and put it in my shirt pocket when I picked up some take-out. When I got home I put it on the table with the receipt. I forgot to put it back in my wallet. Dammit!! Now I can't even go to an ATM to pay to get out.

3: 35 pm

Still in the waiting room. A lady walked in. She told the girl behind the fuzzy glass that she was late as her friend was driving her and got lost. She's an older looking lady. I glance up from my book and then pretend like I'm reading. The words and lines are blurred and I'm just staring at them, because all I can think of is how I'm going to pay for parking.

3:37 pm

An old lady comes out from behind the back of the office and the CNA tells her they will see her later for her other check up. She calls me back to one of the rooms.

3:40 pm

I'm in the first room by myself. It's an old office but very well kept. Parts of it has that old wood paneling which I hate. There's a nook with a bench thingy built in with storage in it. There's a sign taped that says "NOT A TRASH CAN" on it. I think this is funny as it doesn't look like one to me. But obviously someone threw trash in it so they had to tape the sign on it. The examining table is extended up-right into a chair position. I'm sitting in the other chair on the floor looking at Jessica Alba's face stare back at me from the magazine they put in the rooms while you wait. Tick, tick, tick, its so quiet I can hear my watch tick.

3:45 pm

Still no doctor. I try looking at my book again I see it as a blur. The rooms getting stuffy. The air is barely blowing through a small slit in the ceiling. It lets out a soft whistle as the air goes through. I get restless and look at my watch and worry about the time. Will I have to call MTG to come get me out of the parking lot? That's silly I think and daydream the scenario. "Sweety, I'm stuck in a parking lot and need 2 dollars to get out." I can see MTG making fun already.

3:50 pm

I start getting jittery. I feel insane. I'm stressing over not being able to get out of the parking lot. In five more minutes I won't be able to pay. I can't help but start laughing. As soon as I do the doctor comes in. He looks at me puzzled as to why I'm laughing. I say nothing. He asks me some questions and checks out my wounds. I always feel odd when letting someone else touch me. Well actually the whole removing the shirt thing and being poked is what irks me. It's just odd. I tell him a few things bugging me and he tells me that's normal and will happen until my insides are fully recovered. Just take some pepto or tums for now he says, if it doesn't go away call me. The whole thing take exactly 3 mins.

3:55 pm

I'm getting my parking ticket validated by the receptionist. Damn!! I missed my time. I'll be over 60 mins by the time I get downstairs.

4:00 pm

I saunter out of the building and get in my car. I figure I'll plead my way out of the parking lot with $1.05 and charm the lady at the booth. I drive up and hand the lady my ticket. She scans it through without even looking at me. "Okay, that's it," she says. I guess I didn't have to pay because of the validating. I drive off, and laugh at myself for getting all worked up over nothing.

Friday, November 09, 2007

It's 16 Miles to the Promise Land

Rilo Kiley - With Arms Outstreched

I love this song, hell the whole album is awesome. Having to go back to work is getting ever closer. The thought alone drives me insane. My boss who happens to be one of my best friends calls me everyday to see how I'm doing. Which is a good thing. Although talking to her makes me think of work and I cringe ever so slightly, when she calls.

The last time I was at work I pretty much laid the smack down on our head office manager at the head office and the owners of the company. My team was to take the fall for miss-communication on the part of the head office and sales team. All hell broke loose because sales was trying to get a deal with a major company and didn't bother letting us know that when they sent files over they wanted us to do any and everything to get them done no matter what. They promised these people the world and left it on us to handle this. What I do in real estate legal work, I guess you could say is the special ops of the business. Pardon my language but what I do is fix people's fuck ups. Be it the current homeowners, former, lenders, attorney's, you name it. Even so there are limits as to what I can legally do to fix these problems, without resorting to things best left unsaid.

Needless to say the company the head-office is trying to get business from, gave us (me) a file that pushed the limits of what I can do. At first I was just going to close the darn thing and tell them to bugger off and take it to court and have a judge dismiss the thing. But noticing it was from a company I've never dealt with before I took it to my manager to see what wanted to be done. Sadly after giving it to the boss it was forgotten until the company raised hell about it. We got it done with no help from the company. Fortunately I already left for sick time due to doctors appointments. But when I came back the following week for a few days head-office was really putting pressure on my team. We were to get yelled at during our team meeting, the owners and managers sitting in to have it out at my team. My team was dejected and I knew that this upcoming verbal assault would do no good. So during the meeting I stopped the managers and everyone else dead in their tracks and made them run for cover when I spoke up and placed the blame back were it needed to be. I vehemently defended my team, in effect telling the office heads that what their trying to say (as John Travolta in Get Shorty says) that they "fucked up, without sounding stupid." I said so much and so truthfully that I literally left them speechless with no refute from my words. They had no answer for my statements, and there was only silence. My team and I left the meeting feeling much better. Someone had to speak and I guess it was me. That was the last time I was at work.

I dread next week coming up. Going almost no where and doing nothing all this time recovering was giving me cabin fever. Mix Tape Girl had to work today. She got up and was getting ready for work when I woke up. We've pretty much had our one day of fall down here on Weds. I actually got to wear my leather jacket, which always make me happy. Now the humidity is back and it should be close to 90 again in the next few days. While MTG was getting ready I looked outside. It was foggy and misting. A gray and ugly morning. She was taking longer than normal to get ready. Putting on her shoes she sat on the bed then layed down backwards.

"I don't want to go to work" she said softly. "So don't, stay here with me," I replied. "I can't," she said. "Yeah you can, call in and well go do something," I told her. She looked at me and smiled and then looked up at the ceiling. "Anything?" she said. "Yeah" I mumbled. She reached for her mobile and actually called in. We slept for a while longer after that. When we woke up I made her pancakes and bacon. We sat outside and ate in the courtyard.

The fog had gone now but it was gray still. "We need to get out of here," I said. "Where to?" MTG said puzzled. "Anywhere" I said. "Ok let's go" MTG smiled and said. I added more music to my Ipod, we got in my car and we left. We drove down the road and onto the highway. I set northwest toward the hill country, to no town in particular but just to the hills. I played Rilo Kiley's "The Execution of All Things". It's one of my favorite albums. MTG and I sang almost all the songs. We then set the Ipod to random and heard songs from Sleater-Kinney, The Delfonics, and anything else. We talked and talked and laughed. The sun had come out now in the afternoon. The cold of the week long gone and the heat already coming back in.

I told MTG of my plans to start my own business. Doing what I do on a different level and answering to myself. Making the plans for my brother to join me in it as he has real-estate background too. I've already purchased the equipment to do it. I just need that little "Umph" to get me going. We talked and talked and talked. The hills were beautiful surrounding us. Driving through the back roads and little valleys. After heading west for a while I turned back northeast and we ended up in Austin in the evening. We stopped and ate at a restaurant my dad used to take us to when we lived there. We did the 6th Street thing after parking downtown. We stopped at Waterloo records and picked up some new music, and then got ice cream at Amy's. MTG bought some new sunglasses and a dancing chilli pepper that dances to "Feelin' Hot Hot Hot". We drove around Austin a little bit more seeing the places I lived at, in my ever moving gypsy life. We finally headed back south on I-35 around 8 pm. We listened to Rilo Kiley again. Putting "With Arms Outstretched" on continuous play-back for half the way back home, MTG and I singing every time:

"its 16 miles to the promised land
and i promise you i'm doing the best i can
now somedays they last longer than others
but this day by the lake went to fast
and if you want me, you better speak up i won't wait
so you better move fast
and somedays they last longer than others
but this day by the lake went to fast
and if you want me, you better speak up i wont wait
so you better move fast"

Sunday, November 04, 2007

It's 4 o'clock in the morning and its starting to let light

So far the pain from the incisions hasn't been too unbearable. However last night was the second night that cost me sleep because of the pain. And its not pain that hurts and is killing you. It's annoying pain that makes you so uncomfortable but there's nothing you can do about it.

I went to bed around 11 pm last night. I took my pain meds before hand. At first they worked and I slept for about an hour. Then I woke up, and was wide awake. Now in order for me to sleep, I have to sleep laying on my belly, which is pretty much impossible for me to do right now. I cannot sleep on my back AT ALL. I feel so off and it just...I can't get comfortable. On my side is ok, but only for a little while, then I end up on my belly. Unfortunately I already pulled off a terry-strip by rolling over on to my belly. It hurt like hell, and took off a chunk of skin too.

So there I am laying awake. I try to close my eyes as I sleep on my back watching the ceiling fan blades turn around in the dim light of the night. MTG is sound asleep besides me. I try not to move and disturb her. I first slowly turn to my left side, doesn't work. Then to my right, nothing. I move back on my back again. I'm so uncomfortable. The two big incisions are hurting now as I'm moving my mid-section so much. I pop another pill as the pain builds. I fall asleep for about 30 mins after doing so but then have a bad dream and wake up again. The only thing I hate about the pills they give me are the bad dreams. Not nightmares, just bad dreams. When I wake up from my dream I'm on my back again, and I'm uncomfortable. MTG rolls over towards me in her sleep and puts one of her legs between mine and wraps it tight. Now I can't move at all. I stay on my back for another hour falling in and out of sleep. Waking up to bad and weird dreams. Finally MTG moves enough for me to sit up in bed. I turn around to make sure I didn't disturb her. I put on a robe she bought me to walk around the house in and head downstairs.

I turn on the night light above the stove for just a little light. I pour myself a 7-Up and take a seat on the couch. The cool leather feels wonderful on my legs. For some reason I'm extra hot too, though not running a fever or anything. I sit in the dim light drinking my 7-Up. It's now 2:30 am with the time change. I get up and move across the room and turn on the lap by the stereo. I fiddle with some CD's and find a Thelonious Monk Live in Paris CD and pop it in. I put on my huge DJ head-phones with the cord far enough to reach the kitchen. I listen as he plays "Round Midnight" and "Blue Monk" as well as some of Duke Ellington's work. The music helps calm me but I still can't sleep.

Around 2:45 am MTG comes downstairs. She doesn't turn any lights on or anything. She pours herself some water and sits next to me on the couch. I'm still wearing my headphones. She notices that they are on and gets up and unplugs them from the stereo, first lowering the volume. She then comes over to me and takes them off my head, and gives me a kiss, her lips and breath cool from her water. She straightens my hair a little and then snuggles next to me. We listen as Monk plays the piano and the band improvise notes. The only time you hear the crowd is at the end of one of his sets when they applaud.

I finish my 7-Up and drink MTG's water too. She's already fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder. I listen to Monk and look out the french doors to the courtyard with plants. The plants are a new thing MTG as done to my place. Her parents giving me a giant potted lime tree that now sits in my courtyard, along with the other plants and life that MTG has brought in with her. From the couch I can make out a few small limes in the dim night light. The courtyard has a blueish tinge to it that seems comforting. I look at the clock and realize its now 4 am. The CD finishes and the player flips to the next disc in queue, Sarah McLachlan's "Surfacing" comes on. I listen to "Building a Mystery" and make it half way through "I Love You" before I finally fall asleep.

When I wake up it's 11 am. MTG is still asleep on my shoulder. The stereo is now playing Josh Groban's "Closer" CD. It's softly playing track 5, "When You Say You Love Me". I can now clearly see all the little limes on the tree in the courtyard. MTG stirs awake when I look outside. We finish listening to the song and don't get up until its over.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Just ranting

I'm feeling much better now. Yay!!! The cuts in my body are only annoyances now and I'm able to move about now pretty well. Not quickly but pretty well. Though I'm a bit slow going like an old man. Which is much better cause Monday and Tuesday I was hunched over like Mr. Burns cause I couldn't fully extend myself.

MTG has been awesome, so nice to have someone there for you. Although I was quite mad at her this morning. She made scones this morning. The smell was wonderful. OMG you should've smelled it. I was laying in bed and the wonderful smell woke me up. Mmmmmm.... Then she came upstairs and got dressed etc., etc, and left for work. But before she left she told me she left some breakfast for me downstairs. So here I was all hungry because of the smell. Honestly I was compelled to get up and eat me a scone. The aroma was amazing, it was like on those old cartoons when you can see the smell from a pie of something and it goes into the characters nose and then turns into that hand that tells the character to come. Yeah just like that. So I got up brushed my teeth and hurried downstairs to eat me a scone. To my surprise when I got downstairs there were no scones to be seen. Nowhere, and I looked everywhere. Instead to my horror there was a pot on the stove with Cream of Wheat in it. Great Scott!!! I've been had!! When MTG called me a few minutes ago I asked her about the scones. She told me she made them for work. For work? Dammit!! Foiled again!!! Although she couldn't stop laughing at me for getting me up thinking I was going to get some scones only to find a pot of Cream of Wheat. How wretched.

On the subject of food now. I don't know what it is but when your supposed to stay away for certain food for a while, bloody hell if it doesn't want you to have it more. I could kill for a nice juicy hamburger. Hell I'll even settle for a McDonald's burger. I'm up to here with eating soups and crap. And don't even get me started on the Tofurkey that we had last night. BLeeeechhhh!!!! That is not for human consumption!!! I imagine that would be like what Soylent Green would taste like. It's people, PEOPLE!!!!

On another subject my parents convinced me that I needed to come and stay one night over so they could get a chance to look over me. Although my bedroom has been made into a storage unit. There's boxes everywhere, my mum's Tupperware stuff she does, all the baby's toys and stuff for my nephew. I had to clear out a walking space just to get to the bed. So I stayed over Weds night. I should have stayed at home. They now go to sleep at exactly 9 pm, and I don't just mean go lay down. No, no, they're completely out upon hitting the pillow. So I'm sitting by myself watching this small 20 inch telle downstairs that I really can't hear because my dad turns the volume up so loud he blew out the speakers so its a mumbled mess after the volume bar goes past 5. The morning was ok though as my mum made pancakes. Yay pancakes!! But then while I was eating, they got up and changed and said "We're going now. We won't be back till late tonight." What? You asked me to come over and now you're going out for the day? Of course all I could say was, "Ok." Oh and so I don't forget during breakie, by dad kept yelling at me to do stuff like I didn't just have surgery. Things that involved heavy lifting. "AD move that there. Reach up and get that. Get the laundry for me." It's probably not quite right but to imagine my dad just think of Charlie's dad on "So I Married and Axe Murderer," only without the Scottish accent.

Well I think I'm done ranting. As I'm alone I just might sneak out and get me a burger. Mmmmm...yes burger. Muaahahahahahahahaha!!! (evil laugh) Oh one more thing. As if watching the telle wasn't bad enough I started watching the Home Shopping network. Which convinced me that I needed a few things that I didn't. Do I really need this vacuum machine that sucks the air out of bags for easy storage? Among some other things. Oh and I bought a new computer from Dell. Which I already setup. It's awesome. Yay!! I ordered a new telle for my bedroom too. But don't order a telle from Dell, here's why. They don't keep the telle's in stock and they have to order them. The expected shipment date isn't till 12/15/07 with the deliver date being the day before X-mas. Dammit again!! I'm thinking of canceling and ordering me a new laptop instead. At least I can get that before the end of the week. Honestly I ordered that telle last week and it'll be over a month and a half to get it. I should have just gone to the store and bought one before hand. Sigh* Maybe I still will.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

More whatnot

Breakfast always tastes better in the country.

Especially if any part of it is applewood smoked.

Your wife is pregnant, not "preggers" or "pregs." (This I learned from watching grown men on daytime telle on TLC)

Umpires will never call or resume a game that has been delayed by rain until you have driven exactly 3.2 miles from the stadium.

When lending a friend a DVD or CD, it is always best to make sure the disc is in it's case.

Deduct 10 points from the friend meter if it isn't.

The "Dave" DVD was not in it's case. -10 pts <---That's for you "R"

If your tattoo's design comes out of a well-thumbed catalog with a three-digit number beside it, there's a pretty good chance you're not the wild man you think you are.

Come to think of it, winter deserves shortened Fridays just as much as summer does.

No one will ever be as impressed with your collection of sports memorabilia as you are.

Cordless phones always disappoint eventually.

Letting it go to voice mail is overrated. Just answer the phone and take care of business.

A PBS tote bag does not make you an intellectual.

Mail with windows is never good.

If your dream involves an elaborate scheme to urinate, get up and take a pee.

The best villains have accents and walk slowly.

You don't pay cash at the dentist.

The phrase "assume the position" should be avoided on the first date.

Beware of restaurants that have walls adorned with anchors.

Avoid any doctor whose middle name appears in quotes.

Aspire to be the kind of person you've convinced your grandparents you already are.

You are twice as likely to get lost using GPS as you are with a paper map.

The last slice of pie is the tastiest.

If you can't make it good, make it big. And if you can't make it big, make it red.

During the time one is standing above the midget urinal, one is precisely two thirds of a man.

No bioweapons jokes in the cover letter.

Be wary the man who shakes your hand while remaining in his seat.

Restaurants that demand that you call them to confirm are 73 percent more likely to have haughty servers.

Wearing a trash-bag poncho is actually worse than getting wet.

It's never a good idea to eat an egg-salad sandwich on public transportation.

Desperate housewives don't look like that.

You gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em and when to stop quoting Kenny Rogers during poker games.

The house blend is always hotter than the flavored coffee.

Avoid any restaurant where the daily specials are displayed by way of plastic replicas.

A man should never own more than two pairs of convertible pants.

Flame decals do not fool passersby into thinking your car is "hot."

There is no shame in using Western utensils for Eastern cuisine.

After three drinks, before you yell, throw, or type anything, stop for a few seconds and think about just what it is you're up to.

Any medical condition is made less terrifying if you place "the ol' " before it: "the ol' cancer," "the ol' pneumonia," "the ol' herpes," "the ol' gall-bladder."

In ascending order of viscosity: ointment, balm, salve, unguent.

In ascending order of funniness: balm, ointment, unguent, salve.

Nothing good can come from arguing with an old woman.

The calla lily is the best flower.

Roses? Please.

There is an exactly 2 percent chance that you will be seated next to a beautiful single woman on your next flight.

Less if you're flying first class. Then again, who cares--it's first class.

Be wary of trusting another man's assistant.

If your goal is to see a beautiful woman on television, look no further than the Spanish-language networks.

The top three inventions of the last hundred years: Internet, television, breath strip.

There is no masculine way to carry a squash racket.

People will forgive a well-dressed man anything.

Men who complain about wearing tuxedos are twice as likely to have a black-tie wedding.

You can't go wrong with a white oxford shirt.

Only after the host has removed his jacket or tie can you follow suit.

The same does not apply for shoes or shirts. Those stay on.

If you feel uncomfortable, you look uncomfortable.

It is always better to be slightly overdressed than slightly underdressed.

What the hell happened to Sesame Street?

When you're sick and even the Price is Right is not playing, you know it's going to be one of those weeks.

Invariably when you have surgery, said surgery will not allow you to sleep the way that is most comfortable.

Can you tell I'm rather bored?