Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Coloured cups are for soda

Sorry for the lack of updates. In case you haven't figured out, I went and got myself engaged. Yikes. Just kidding. I like it. But that's not what this post is about. No, no this shall be a rant.

Now when you get engaged all manner of people want to take you out and talk to you, etc, etc. I had no idea about this. Tell people that yes we're engaged but there is no immediate plan for a wedding or anything, and they still start to make plans for you. Which I should say we put a hold on right away. Just see how things pan out.

But this post won't even be about that. Okay so, like I mentioned lots of people (friends, immediate family, relatives, etc) want to go out to dinner etc, now to celebrate. Okay fine. Most places we went to were okay. Not all were my cup of tea. But two this past weekend really ticked me off.

We were invited to a seafood restaurant first off. Great, I love seafood. We order, everything goes fine. Now this isn't a place where you have a waiter, no you order in line, find a table, get your own drink from the fountain. Sounds odd I know but the grub is great, it'll make your bollocks tingle. Anyways, I pay for MTG and myself. We round the corner, MTG having advanced ahead to get a table for all of us. (A party of about 8) I grab a clear cup that is very near the soda fountain. It's clear, no biggie. I proceed to get me a Coke. I finished filling my cup and turn to walk toward the table. Then:

Lady behind counter (LBC): Excuse me sir!!! (Said loudly and ugly)

Me: huh?

LBC: May I see your cup?

I hand it over thinking maybe it's not properly clean or some other thing she noticed. LBC takes my cup, grabs a coloured cup (you know those brown clear ones, standard restaurant fair) and pours my drink into that cup.

LBC: The clear cups are for WATER ONLY!! Coloured cups are for soda!! AS CLEARLY STATED ON THE SIGN ON THE COUNTER!

I look down to her finger tapping the counter and see the sign, half covered up with soda and other spilled liquid, taped there in a plastic sleeve. If you didn't look down you'd miss it. Now I should note there were ample clear cups that were right next to the soda fountain. There were only 5 coloured cups there when I got my drink. I wanted to say something, I really did, but I turned the other cheek, after giving a "WTF" kind of stare back, without saying a word. At least the food was good.

Restaurant 2. Swanky Italian place.

Nice Italian place. It's a chain place sounds like Barrabas, you probably have one where you live. Anyways, long wait, like 1 hour. Doesn't bother me none, that what's expected on Saturday night. We order drinks, hmmm...their prices went up. $2 bucks for a soda. Que lastima! Okay but it was free refills anyways. Then came dinner, it was my turn to place my order. I got what I always get at Italian places, chicken parmesan.

Waitress: Would you like garlic mashed potatoes, grilled veg, pasta, fried zucchini...etc.

Who orders garlic mashed potatoes with chicken parmesan I thought.

Me: Uhm...grilled veg.

Waitress: Very good sir.

About an hour later, we got our meal. Two chicken breasts, and grilled veg stare back at me. I think where's the pasta? Chicken Parmesan always has pasta. Looking at the menu again that was left at the table, pasta is an optional side dish. I substituted grilled veg for it. This is most unholy. But figured I don't need pasta anyways. The Sangria's made up for it at least.

Restaurant 3:

We needed a drink, and time to ourselves. So we went to another local place that we've been to, from time to time, never had a problem. Till this night, when we got the oddest waitress every. I don't think she could have been older than 17.

Waitress: What can I get you to drink?

MTG: A Midori Margarita

Waitress: What's that?

We look at each other.

MTG: It's a margarita...

Waitress: Mahr..gur..itz..ah...

Look at each other again.

Waitress: I dunno if we have those.

We both know they do we've had them before.

MTG: How about a regular margarita.

Waitress: (Looking like a deer in headlights) I don't know what that is.

MTG: Uhm...How about a long island ice tea instead?

Waitress: Oh you want regular tea?

MTG: No a long island ice tea please?

Waitress: Long..long tea?

MTG: Long island ice tea

Waitress: okay.....(she tries to write it, MTG spells it out for her)

Waitress: And you sir?

Me: Bourbon and Coke please.

Waitress: Barbara Nicole? What's that?

MTG and I look at each other then around to see if were on some practical joke show.

MTG: No bourbon and coke.

Waitress: Bur..boo..nickle.

I'm thinking this girl is on crack. I spell out for her what to give the bartender.

A few minutes later our drinks arrive. MTG Long Island Ice Tea is nothing but a gigantic glass of booze not mixed well. I get a have glass of whiskey on the rocks, not even with a coke.

Me: Uhm...excuse me? May I get a Coke as well please?

Waitress: Coook?

Me: Yeah Coca Cola?

Waitress blank stare...

Me: A soda.

Waitress: Ohhh..okay

MTG: I'll take one too.

The only plus side is the booze worked. Though MTG did get a bit wonga as her drink was nothing but pure booze. Made for fun conversation. Why we even stayed I dunno, we were too tired to go else where. Bur..boo..nickle. WTF?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fantasia Pop

We're sitting there eating our tacos for breakfast.  MTG and myself.  It's a new restaurant on the corner from my work.  It was a few minutes into eating our meal when I noticed it.  We were bobbing our heads and tapping our feet.

MTG: Who is this?

Me: I dunno, but it's awesome.

I asked the girl behind the register who was playing.  It wasn't the radio as it was the same artist playing for the last two songs.

"Bellanova" she said. 

Me: Who?

Girl: Bellanova.  Here let me write it down.

Bellanova - song Cada Que, she scribbled on a blank receipt on her note pad. 

Me: Awesome thanks.

It's not everyday you hear really good music at a restaurant, much less a Mexican one where Mariachi and Banda music is the norm.  It was early so the waitresses  were playing their own music on the  PC  instead of the  mundane music on the jukebox. 

The music was poppy, bubble gum pop.  Not kiddie or anything but really good.  I'm at work downloading it on my laptop right now as for some weird reason I was possessed   to bring it.  Glad I did.  Best of all it's in Spanish.  Really, when's the last time you heard a really great album in a totally other language.  I think I'm making this my pick of the week. 

There will be Spanish music dancing tonight.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Building a Mystery....

A post by MTG:

It was night time, early Thursday morning. Valentine's Day. The sky was dark and no light was shining through the windows. The weather had changed once more from cool to warm and humid in a matter of hours. I lay there with AD's arms around me, my head on his chest listening to his heart beat. I couldn't sleep much. I wanted to her the CD he made and put in my bag for me. I felt more excited than on Christmas.

AD was sound asleep but I kept dosing off and on. The humidity made my skin stick to his. I finally fell asleep. At 3 am I was awoken by a phone ringing. I thought I was dreaming it at first. It was AD's cell going off. Late night calls are never good news. AD finally woke up from his slumber, reaching over to the night stand, and knocking a few things over before finally grabbing the phone. I rolled over and lay my head on his chest again. Hearing the rumble of his voice resonate from within.

AD: What's the matter?

indistinct voice of a man on other end

AD: Do you know where you're at?

more chatter

AD: Do you see a street sign? If you do tell me what it says.

more chatter

AD: And you're sure your out of gas?

indistinct "yes" and more chatter

AD: Alright sit tight I'm on my way.

He puts the phone down and reaches for his glasses, knocking more things over.

Me: What's the matter?

AD: It's my grandpa, he got out and took his car, he's lost and ran out of gas. I need to go find him.

Me: Let me go with you, you might need help.

AD: No it'll be okay. I need to get him home. Stay here, I'll call if I need something. I don't think it'll be too long. You can go back to sleep, you have work tomorrow.

Me: So do you.

AD: Yeah but I get off really early tomorrow, or today..what time is it?

AD got up and hastily threw on some jeans and shoes and was out the door. I watched as the car drove off. It was 3:15 am. My mind was going through different scenarios as to what was going on. AD's grandpa, (godfather actually, I'm not sure how this gypsy thing works, they're not blood related, I don't know how to explain, but he calls him grandpa) has recently gone through a hard time. Loosing his wife, then surgeries, being told he can't do what he used to do anymore. Changing him to a bitter old man, so much different than how he was when his wife was alive. He's loosing his memory, he can't remember people close to him. He snaps at everyone. But for some reason he remembers AD and me and is nice to us. I lay there thinking what it must feel like for him to loose the most important person to him. How that changed everything. How being able to take care of yourself and your wife, to suddenly having all your privileges taken away. No more driving, no more doing anything without permission, having someone help you eat and bathe and dress. I lay there thinking about all this, I pull AD's pillows close to me. They smell of him, his shampoo and aftershave. I think and I fall asleep.

At 4 am I am re-awoken by the sound of the door closing. I hear voices, AD and his grandpa.

Grandpa: Why can't we go?

AD: It's too early, your restaurant isn't opened yet.

Grandpa: What?

AD: It's too early.

Grandpa: Okay

AD: Do you want some coffee? I can make some.

Grandpa: Do you want some? I'll have some if you do.

AD: Yes I need it.

Grandpa: Okay

A few minutes later I hear and smell the coffee brewing.

AD: Have you eaten anything yet?

Grandpa: No

AD: Would you like some pancakes?

Grandpa: Haven't had those in years.

AD: So you want some?

Grandpa: Yes

AD: Okay, let me just go do something first.

Grandpa: Okay

AD comes upstairs. I'm sitting up against the headboard.

AD: I thought you were sleeping?

Me: No, just listening to you. Is everything okay?

AD: I don't know yet. He's acting strange.

AD calls his aunt to tell her Grandpa is with him. He apparently cut the lock to the fence at his aunts house and stole his car which he is no longer allowed to drive and had his license taken away. AD tells her not to worry he safely followed him to our house, he'll be here till they pick him up in the morning. Technically this is morning just really early. I hop out of bed to say good morning to AD's, Grandpa. He sees me and looks curious. It takes him a few minutes to figure out who I am. Finally it clicks.

Grandpa: Ohhhh..MTG

Me: Yeah, how are you?

He goes into a long explanation of what's going on, and he wanted tacos from his favorite restaurant but can't go as they aren't opened yet.

Grandpa: I'm sorry I woke you up.

Me: No, no it's ok. But I think I'll go back to bed.

Grandpa: Okay, goodnight.

Me: Night

It's now close to 5 am. As I lay back down I smell pancakes and bacon AD is making, I fall back asleep. Around 6 am, AD's aunt comes to get his Grandpa. I go downstairs to say bye. After it's all over, AD and I head upstairs. AD sits on the bed and then falls back, legs hanging off the edge.

AD: Sleep, so sleepy.

Me: You can call in.

AD: No it's okay.

The alarm goes off, it's 15 past 6. We both get up and go to work. I gleefully read my card and listen to my mix CD, AD made me. And my present, AD's watch, he gave it to me, since I wear it all the time. I like wearing his watch. I know he'll be calling any minute now.

AD: Thanks for the flowers.

Me: Ha ha ha!!

AD: All the ladies at work are jealous. This thing is huge.

Me: Well I had to go all out.

AD: I like my mix CD you made me. No......retraction, I love it.

Me: I love mine too. I gotta go though I have a meeting. TTYL

AD: Okay, bye.

I didn't get a chance to call again, I got so busy. I got home tired but happy. The door was opened in the courtyard, I saw some smoke coming out the side. "Uh oh", I ran inside. AD was cooking fillet minion on a cast-iron skillet, thus the smoke. Dinner was almost ready. Fillet minion, salad, wine, and chocolate souffle. (I know its missing the accent but I can't figure out how to do it.)

Me: When did you learn how to cook?

AD: I took classes a few of years ago when we lost our jobs. Figured on maybe becoming a cook.
(This would be between the time we originally met and then parted ways after a job layoff from the company we worked for. Though you probably didn't really need to know that. I'm a continuity freak, sorry about that.)

Me: I just might have to stick with you just for the food. (jokingly of course)

AD: Only for the food? I feel so empty.

Me: Alright that and your big Johnson.

AD choked on some salad on that one. I was just kidding. AD don't read this and get that inflated sense of self-esteem. ;) But it's true AD's cooking has improved greatly. He literally burnt microwave oatmeal when I first met him, all those years ago. Can you believe I've known you for 8 years already? Wait who am I talking to, I typed that like you're standing right here.

Then it was movie time. The Drafthouse was perfect as always. And how can one not love the Wedding Singer? And no kids. :) Huge plus. Although I will admit AD must have been on autopilot as he didn't say much. It was due to lack of sleep. Didn't even finish his beer there. I knew he was tired.

I drove back home, we both lay in bed, very tired.

AD: It's been a long day. I'm literally too tired to sleep.

Me: (moaning/yawning) yeah....

silence

AD: Would you marry me if my last name was Gulia, like the guy in the movie.

Me: AD Gulia, MTG Gulia...hmmmm.....I dunno, I might need incentive like a huge rock on my ring.

AD: Not funny

more silence

Me: So my mom told you basically that in effect, she's waiting for you to be "officially part of the family"?

AD: Yes

more silence

AD: I think your dad is expecting me to be old school and ask for his blessing first.

Me: Yeah, that was the whole point of last Sunday which you missed.

AD: Crap

Me: I thought you were going to be there.

AD: I said the night before I'm going home and going to bed and think about being there.

Me: But whenever you say "I'm going to think about it" you do it anyways.

AD: The one time I don't....

Me: I'm just giving you grief.

AD: Oh..

AD: I didn't buy a ring or anything.

Me: So?

We're lying there staring at the ceiling...

AD reaches over and grabs one of my rings from the night stand, puts in on my ring finger on my left hand.

AD: Don't say yes don't say no. Just try it and see how you like it.

Me: Okay

Holding my hand out looking at the ring, and turning to AD.

Me: I like it.

AD: (almost asleep) Okay, we'll go get a real one this weekend.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

V-Day Demands

MTG: Do not send me flowers at work tomorrow!!

Me: Why not?

MTG: I love them but I have too much stuff at work anyways. If you get them, just bring them home.

Me: Okay....

MTG: I'm putting your V-Day stuff I made for you in you work bag. Do not read/listen to it till tomorrow.

Me: Okay...

MTG: And stop saying okay all the time. Okay?

Me: Okay

I sit semi-listening cutting up a giant heart from red and pink construction paper. I'm going homemade this year. Somehow I've gotten glitter all over me. I just have to figure out where to put the googly eyes.

MTG comes tries to see the card I'm making for her.

Me: No don't look, it's a surprise. I can't look at mine and you can't look at yours till tomorrow.

MTG: Fine be that way. (She says putting glitter in my hair)

Me: Stop!

MTG laughs and runs out the room.

Me: (yelling down the hall) I'm going to cook dinner tomorrow!!

MTG: Okay, but were going to the movies afterwards. They're showing the Wedding Singer at the Drafthouse.

Me: Sweet!! I love that movie.

And I love the Drafthouse movie theater. They don't allow anyone under 18, no kids what-so-ever, and they serve real food and booze. Not that we need food but booze. Yay!! And Adam Sandler!! It should be pretty good tomorrow.

Today's To Do List

1. Walk

2. Sit

3. See

4. Make

5. Eat

6. Rest

7. Run

8. Breathe

9. Dance

10. Play


____________________________________________________________________________________
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Chicken-Parm Sandwich

Dammit if I'm not hungry again.  Sitting at work counting time.  Grrrrrr!!!  Actually my stomach is going Grrrrrr!!!  I split a meatball sub with MTG for lunch today.  Now I want a Chicken-Parm Sandwich.  I must stop at the market after work to pick up some fixin's.  I still need a mojito though.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Unholy Cravings

I'm sitting at work.  My stomach is growling.  And for whatever reason I'm craving Strawberry Pop-Tarts and a Mojito.


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Stencil

Sorry for the lack of posts. I've just been overwhelmed lately. Slept horribly last night. Too much on my mind. And the fact that I probably screwed up major this morning. Though I was assured it wasn't even a big deal, in fact it was nothing but it meant a lot to me and I...wasn't present.

Regardless. I just felt like posting something. I must admit that I, dear readers am a sticker fiend, stencil fiend, street art fiend. I love art and pictures and well just about everything arty. From time to time I get the urge to vandalize. Mostly I create stickers or use a stencil and a spray can. I've plastered my work place with stickers, in the most inconspicuous places. You have to look for them but they're there. It took forever for someone to notice the banana sticker I placed in the elevator before someone took it down. I sighed a little that day. But when I say I vandalize, I don't mean stupid tagging that looks dumb and dirty. By all means no. I like to style my work after Banksy-ish art. If you were to see something from me on the side of a building it might look something similar to a Banksy work. Like:

Although I am no where near a good as above, I try my best. Placing stickers, on stop signs or lamppost, or doing a small stencil job on a wall where it more than likely won't be noticed. A while back a friend of mine owned a building near some railroad tracks. He used to let me use the back of it as my own personal canvas. I loved it as the street ran near the building by the tracks on a main thorough-fare, so my work was exposed to all. The last time I did some stenciling I collaborated with MTG. She had never done anything like this. But we designed a picture, made a gigantic stencil and set to work making a gigantic picture on the back of this building. We did it at night even though we had permission. So people would see something new while stuck in traffic on the way to work in the morning.

Sadly my friend sold the building and the new owner promptly painted over our work. The picture had been up for about 6 months now. MTG and I drove by today on our way out running errands.

MTG: The view isn't as pretty anymore.

Me: Stinks

MTG smiles slyly.

MTG: I'm feeling in the mood for a random art attack.

Me: Let's work up some plans.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Super Bowl..Wait What Did You Say?

Just a quick post that has had me thinking about things ever since it happened. I was at MTG's parents house for the Super Bowl. No biggie. But this time her dad didn't rag on me, nope he was all nice and everything and insisted I sit next to him and watch the game. Hmmmm.....most interesting. Although in guy terms watching a game with another man is the equivalent of 5 hugs and a couple of phone calls. Without actually doing anything asides from maybe a high five here and there. Double that when you watch it with your dad or potential father in law.

Although the sudden and unexpected presence of another guy showing up threw me off guard. Did her dad invite him to mack on MTG? We both looked at each other like, what are you doing here and for whom are you here for? Like to male cats looking at each other. Fortunately he was there for one of MTG's other sisters. So after that was straightened out it was just fine.

MTG's mum made ribs for us and all the fixin's. Yum yum. But while in the kitchen she told me something. They were all standing there talking about there family. Suddenly everyone left to go wash their hands etc, so me and MTG's mum were left standing there, me putting food on my plate. MTG's mum turned to me and said:

MTG's Mum: You know , if..no..when you officially become part of the family after your married, you'll find we have a lot of weird relatives.

Me: That's okay, I have plenty too. (But really thinking, "What did you just say?" Did you just give me your blessing to marry your daughter? Is that why MTG's dad is being extra nice to me? Am I being set up?)

I finished getting some food and couldn't say anything, just smile and nod. I barely ate what I got and was distracted all through the game.

Now I know what your thinking. Those questions sound like commitment phobe questions. But that's not the case. Would I like to marry their daughter? Sorry can't say here not yet. Maybe this would give you a clue. ;) But what about her, what does she want? Is what's racing through my brain. And why couldn't she had said this while we were both standing there together? See I thought about this the whole time at the Body Works exhibit, and ever since Sunday. I can't get it out of my head.

PS: Ok MTG I know you're going to read this. But you have to stay tunned for the answer to these questions very soon. Like next week. Okay.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Call Me When You Get This

"You have one message" my mobile informs me.

MTG: Hey you. I wanna ask you something, call me when you get this okay?

I call back while at work.

Me: Hey what's up?

MTG: Hey I wanted to know if you want to go to the Body Works show after work? It's Tuesday so the museum admission is free, we just have to pay for the Body Works exhibit.

Me: Oh yeah!! I've been wanting to see that.

MTG: Okay, I'm getting off early so just pick me up at home. A couple of my friends are going to meet us there.

Me: Okay.

I've been waiting to see the Body Works exhibit since it opened here last week. Perhaps you've seen it. Looks something like this:


Yep it's that exhibit with the dead cadavers. Unfortunately the specimen above was not in this show. That's in the Body World's show, we got the Body Works show, which isn't nearly as big but awesome none the less.

I haven't been to our local museum in ages. The Witte Museum hasn't changed much since I was a kid, but they do get really good exhibits. The parking lot was full so we had to park across the street in the back lot behind I-Hop. We hurried across the street that is full of busy traffic and meet up with MTG's friends.

Going inside there were lots of people but no real line, which was good. We quickly bought our passes, I got an audio tour for me and MTG to share. The exhibit was dark and eerie at first. The first room you enter was almost pitch black, asides from the monitors telling about the human anatomy. Once you round the corner you're confronted face to face with a man sans skin, running towards you with his muscles fixed in various positions.

MTG quickly grabbed my hand the moment we turned the corner.

Me: Your squeezing kind of hard. (The blood in my hand quickly disappearing as MTG held tight)

MTG: Sorry, I didn't think it'd be quite so real. (She didn't lighten her grip)

We stared in awe at the body for a few minutes and made our was around the room looking at the various body parts. Legs, arms, bones, joints, ears, everything, from real people.

There were plenty of kids there with their parents, most of them well behaved, but you could tell the few that were way too scared to be there.

We took in the circulatory system, the muscles, organs. People split in half, quarters of people, a brain sliced in sections, an arm skinned to the shoulder with the muscles attached. Every organ there. MTG never loosening her grip on my hand. She was excited but scarred.

A few rounds we ended in the reproductive area. Most interesting. It's funny the audio tour of this is very thorough. The part on the man took like 1 minute and 30 secs. The part on the women took like 7 minutes. I actually turned it off cause it was taking too long. One can only hear about the menstrual cycle for so long while looking at a torso of a woman that's been sliced in half. We got in line for the blocked off Prenatal part of the exhibit. MTG jabbering away, while we waited.

We entered the exhibit and she got really quiet. We read the descriptions on the walls, and looked at the babies. From a few weeks, to 32 weeks. The first baby being smaller than my thumb. But it was there, you could see it's arms and legs, the bones barely there but you could see them. The nails it had nails, really it did. Then more babies as it grew and got larger. MTG squeezed my hand even tighter the whole time not saying a word. There were also babies that died of congenital defects and sudden death syndrome. A few kids rushed past us playing around. We stood there reading the information and examining the specimens. Finally MTG pulled me along and out of that part of the exhibit without saying a word.

MTG: I'm sorry I got all quiet in there. I just didn't realize all that, especially with my test, last week.

Me: There's nothing to apologize about. I never really gave much thought about the whole development or anything till now. I mean you see it in school but that's not the same. Its'...its' something else.

MTG: Yeah.

We stood there staring into the eyes of a woman who was skinned and her muscles and vital organ's showing. Her arms where outstretched as if she was raising them to the sun an smiling. We continued the tour, MTG getting more chatty as we got further along. We had totally lost tract of her friends by the time we finished, and ended up walking back to through the exhibit, only to find that they were already waiting for us outside in the main museum.

We perused around the gift shop, I bought a replica Velociraptor skull, that would look cool on the bookshelf at home. MTG bought a DaVinci shirt. We sat on the bench at the entrance while MTG's friends went to the restroom. MTG putting her head on my shoulder. She still hadn't really let go of my hand. Just as her friends were walking towards us the fire deparment/EMS came through the door. Apparently someone had passed out in the Body Works exhibit. One of the members of the group that was with the person who passed out was telling the EMS techs about the person while on his mobile, yelling a message into it, "Call me when you get this!!"

Monday, February 04, 2008

World Finest Mark Up

The door bell is pressed, (Westminster Abbey chimes through the house)

I open the side door and step out into the courtyard and walk to the gate. A young boy is standing there with a box of World's Finest Chocolate. I've seen this kid, one of the very few in the neighborhood. (Ok I admit I live in a semi-old people place. Mostly anyone my age is either artists with no kids or people who never stop working. The rest really are old folks, which is fine with me, I'm not a huge child person. Don't get me wrong I like kids, just only for a little while.) Where was I? Oh yes. The kid I've seen him before.

Me: Hey, what's up?

Kiddo: Hello sir. Wanna buy some chocolate?

Me: Oh World's Finest! I love that stuff.

Kiddo: Each bar is only a $1.50

Me: Wow, they've gone up. Used to be just a buck.

Kiddo: Yeah well you know with the economy and all.

I look at the box. He scratched off $1.00 and wrote $1.50.

Me: Hey wait a mintue. You scratched off the original price. What are you trying to pull? Are you even selling this for school?

Kiddo: Yeah it's for school. But I need some cash for myself too. Why, what do you care? I want a new video game.

Me: That's a heck of a mark-up, 50%.

Kiddo: I'm ambitious.

Me: Maybe I'll just buy it from some other kid.

Kiddo: I don't think so.

Me: Why not?

Kiddo: Because I'm the only kid in this whole place that's selling this stuff. I've cornered the market!! Ha!!

Me: Where do you get this stuff from? Am I on TV?

Kiddo: What are you talking about? Are you smoking something? If so then you probably really want this candy.

Me: I mean where do you get this whole, "I'm cornering the market" stuff?

Kiddo: I read my dad's Wallstreet Journal.

Me: What, why?

Kiddo: To get ideas to make money, duh!

Me: How old are you?

Kiddo: 11.

Me: And you got this whole business plan from reading that stuff.

Kiddo: Yep and movies.

Me: I dare not ask.

Kiddo: The art of good business is being a good middleman.

Me: Layercake

Kiddo: Yep

(looking about for a camera just in case)

Kiddo: Look you gonna buy some or not?

Me: I suppose I don't have a choice, seeing as no one else has them do I?

Kiddo: That's sound about right.

Me: All right, then give me three.

Chocolate and money exchange hands.

Kiddo: Thanks sir.

Me: You'll make a good middle-man someday or gypsy.

Kiddo: I already am.

Me: Let me know when you corner the market on Thin Mints.

Kiddo: That can be arranged, I can work out a deal with my sister.