Mix Tape Mashup

Mix Tape Girl: I can't believe X is getting married to Y. Y's a fucking idiot.

Me: Let's just hope he grows up.

MTG: She knows better. Everyone knows Y's problems. He's a freaking drunk. She knows better.

Me: That's what she wants and there's no talking her out of it.

MTG: I just hope he doesn't beat her.

Me: One can only hope. You just can't talk people out of mistakes when it comes to love. She loves him even though it's a huge mistake and she knows it. There's no talking her out of it.

MTG: Yeah everyone has mistakes. At least my last one fucked himself over before I fell for it. (Then catching herself and what she's saying never talking to me about the "mistake")

Me: (silent, knowing MTG's last mistake but never having asked about it only assumed the mistake, since she talked about him all the time before we ever thought we'd like each other.)

MTG: We're here.

Me: What do you say? Congratulations on marrying a drunk, hope he doesn't go crazy and beat you. Please don't do it.

MTG: You say, "I hear congratulations are order". That way you're not saying congratulations...out right anyways.

Me: Ah...

We enter the restaurant and meet up with X. We have dinner trying hard not to talk about the mess that will soon ensue. MTG and X are talking and my mind wanders off. I think of the mistake MTG mentioned. I dismiss it, who cares. But it starts me thinking about all the girls in my life. Girls from the past, my present with Mix Tape Girl and our future.

I think of songs that go with these girls. I remember the first girl I had a crush on it. Michelle. I remember giving her a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pin. I remember she loved it and wore it on her backpack that whole school year. Elementary was fun. I remember her mom was the crossing guard at the school. Her mom liked me. It remind me of the song Turtle Power by McHammer from the movie.

MTG and X are carrying on. MTG slipping in sly remarks letting X know of her disapproval, that make X cringe since they're true. My mind wanders off as they pay no attention to me.

I think back to middle school and Beverly whom I had a serious crush on. She was a nerd, but a hot one. It reminds me of Rob's line in High Fidelity "One moment they weren't there -- not in any form that interested us, anyway -- and the next, you couldn't miss them. They were everywhere. And they'd grown breasts. And we wanted -- actually we didn't even know what we wanted. But it was something interesting. Disturbing even." I remember her glasses which were so much cooler than mine. I remember sneaking into her posh mobile home park she lived in and sneaking into the swimming pool just to go see her sunbathing. I think, "is posh mobile home park" an oxymoron? It was nice anyways. I think of Jessica whom I had no interest in but she made sure I'd somehow touch her every time in English class. I remember Jessica....huh....not going there. I remember the Cranberries song Linger and The Spin Doctor's Little Miss Can't Be Wrong.

I remember Florence my last year of middle school and staring high school. I remember her staring at me on the field trip to the army base. I remember my friend jabbing me telling me she was looking at me. I remember looking at her and saying my ever so cool opening line of "Hi." But she was too embarrassed to that I s I remember her following me (I kid you not) so we could have lunch together. I remember knowing she was following me, and going the extra long way and taking unnecessary routes to see if she would follow, and she did. I remember her telling me, "I know you're trying to give me the slip". I just wanted to see if you'd follow. We had lunch together everyday and hung out together in gym class and always were lab partners in our Biology AP class. I remember the day I moved, and her face. I remember the kiss she gave me. I'll remember listening to The Smashing Pumpkins 1979 and Green Day's She, together.

I remember Laura when we moved out in the middle of no where. I remember her showing me that there is life in everything. Even when you're stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. I remember Tonight, Tonight and sharing music with my friends and being the social butterfly that Laura turned me into. I remember that when a girl asks you to walk with her to the "Bathroom" it doesn't really mean walk me to the "Bathroom", it means lets go get lost together. I remember getting my drivers license and driving around a tiny little town in the middle of no where jamming out to mixed tapes. I remember Laura singing and dancing and jumping around to Veruca Salt's Volcano Girls. I remember the one picture of us I have in a box outside with my old stuff. I remember moving away once again and leaving all my friends I had made behind.

I spent the whole next year basically by myself, oddly enough wanting to go back to the middle of nowhere to be with my friends. But Liliana in my account class made sure I stayed too much out of my funk. Making me wear her headphones and listening to Aqua's Barbie Girl.

Then I met Laurie who took me in as a friend. We became close and shared everything through my graduation all the way past my first encounter with Mix Tape Girl. I remember making mix tapes for each other and installing her car stereo. How she introduced me fully to country music and the Dixie Chicks and gave me a new found respect for Bon Jovi. I remember introducing her to Dido (whom I still absolutely love even if her last album was crap). She critiqued my mixes when I started making them for Mix Tape Girl. We be came so close that I didn't see that she was in love with me. I just thought of her as the sister I never had. I wouldn't learn of this until she married someone that I couldn't stand because he left one of our friends in a dire situation and I was the only one left to pick up the pieces. I'll remember sitting at I-Hop with Ashley Simpson's Pieces of Me playing, and talking with her and another friends about Mix Tape Girl, then making plans to go to a concert me and Laurie never went to. I remember walking out of the restaurant and Laurie jokingly telling me, "Guess that means you don't like me then." But I was too young and dumb to realize it wasn't a joke. I remember thinking she must be joking on my drive back home, but not picking up the phone to ask and make sure. I see her though about once a year and it's nice but things aren't the same. I can't stand her husband and she doesn't really care for Mix Tape Girl but we're cordial and play nice.

X's parents show up and we all smile knowing X is making a huge mistake. We smile politely and enjoy dinner, trying to not bring up the obvious subject except only on occasion to make X cringe a little.

We finish and say goodnight, and drive home. I have these songs floating in my head. I turn on the satellite radio in the car and the next thing I know the Beastie Boys are playing, Jimmy James.

My mind wanders again and before I know it we're home and I'm making a mix CD. The CD is nothing like I imaged it and strayed from it's original intention. The next thing I know instead of a tape for all the girls from my past, I have a CD staring with Jim Croce, You Don't Mess Around With Jim and a bunch of Neil Diamond and Led Zeppelin.

So much for the mix. Either ways it's labeled "To All the Girls I've Loved". Mix Tape laughs at the silliness of the CD every time where in my car.