Thursday, January 18, 2007

On the plane to NYC.

Currently up here. This was a few days ago on the trip up here.

Sitting on the aisle seat can be fun, but not always which was the case on the flight up here. There was an extremly portly bald white man sitting right across from me in the next aisle. And stared at me almost the entire trip. Here's how things went down.
r9: (whispering in french to XX, so creepy man won't understand) "That creepy fat, bald guy won't stop staring at me."
XX: "I know"
r9: "Seriously what's his deal? It's not like glance now and then, his head is turned and he's looking directly at me since we took off."
XX: "Maybe we can move seats or something"
r9: "XX, the flights sold out we're stuck here."
XX: "Dammit"
r9: "Does he think I'm going to blow something up or something? Seriously he's really creepy."
XX: "I dunno. I'd be more concerned about that crazy looking goth kid that's been clutching his backpack since we left. Like you couldn't pry it away from him."
r9: "You're paranoid XX"
XX: "You're the one with a chubby bald stalker"
r9: "Shut up! Ewwww!!! He's probably having his way with me in his mind."
XX: "Oh sh*%! He probably is. Ewww!!"
r9: "Alright this has got to stop. I'm gonna mess with his head."
XX: "Don't get us into trouble"
r9: "Muahahahahaha!!! (evil laugh)"
XX: Shakes head.
Turns to icky man and stares back.
r9: (again in french, hey if I don't practice it I'll lose it. ps: translated) "So...what are you looking at?"
Icky man looks puzzled.
Icky man: (in a very southern accent) "Wha...? I'm sorry I don't understand you."
r9: (again in french) "What the hell are you staring at? You haven't taken you eyes off me for the entire trip. Do you want something? You're really creeping me out."
XX: (giggling butt off)
Icky man panics, sweat as thick as Crisco forms on his head.
Icky man: "I ain't got a clue what your saying."
r9: (speaks in english) "I said what are you staring at. YOU haven't taken your eyes off me since we took off. You're really creeping me out."
Icky man says nothing.
r9: "Do you want something, or have a condition that you have to just stare at something? Give me a clue here."
Icky man starts turning red.
Icky man: "I uh....."
r9: "Well can you do me a favor and stop staring at me. It's really bloody freaky."
At which point other passengers are staring. The stewardess comes up.
Stewardess: "Is everything ok."
XX (holding hand in head) "I don't know you."
r9: "This gentleman here can't seem to take his eyes off me. He's been staring at me the entire trip. It's really creeping me out."
Stewardess: "Oh ok"
Icky man turns bright red. "I haven't been staring at you"
XX: "Yes you have. It's really really weird."
Passanger behind us: "Yeah you have man."
Icky man gets upset.
Stewardess: "Tell you what, there's are two seats at the back that aren't taken. If you want to move you can."
XX and I get up and move.
XX: "Thanks for embarassing me."
r9: "You're quite welcome. Feel better now?"
XX: (giggles) "Not too much."
Stewardess comes by. "Everything ok now?"
r9: "Very much so yes."
XX: "Can I trouble you for a rum and coke?"
Stewardess: "Sure"
XX: "Promise me you won't do this again on the flight back."
r9: "I promise nothing."
XX: Pinches me hard
r9: "Alright. Geez."
Thusly we landing in NYC without any other problems and Icky man long gone.
Have fun in TX while I'm gone all. It's bloody freezing up here.

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