Saturday, January 05, 2008

"Officer the cuffs are hurting me"...

Most stories worth listening to end with that line. This one won't. Nyah, nyah!! Fooled ya!! Don't worry about seeking revenge though, I've more than suffered enough these past few days to make up for it.

After my last post I was feeling splendid. Just dandy. Then I went to visit my mum and dad the following day. They were babysitting my nephew for my brother and sister-in-law. My dad had a cold and my nephew had just gotten over some sort of stomach virus. I should've turned around and left. But no I stuck around and later that night, I was crapping, vomiting and sneezing my brains out. Damn it I was sick!! And didn't sleep all night. Literally, I was up at 1:08 am, 2:08 am, 3:08 am, 4:09 am. And of course running a high fever that practically had me hallucinating. Ack!!

MTG, spending as much time as she can with her nana (who's terminal), wasn't there for me to complain to. So basically I spent two day Thurs and Friday laying in bed all day. Every time I got up to walk I'd end up going sideways. Grrrrr!!! And now to make it worse my hips hurt cause I keep falling asleep on my sides without moving. (long story) I felt a little better today so I headed back to my parents house. They were making tamales, I'm not one to pass up free food.

But when I got there fever struck and I ended up sprawled out on the couch barely able to move. Friends of my mum coming and going, walking right past my as I lay there nearly dying. In some cases putting purses on me, (literally on me) to watch for them. So turning on HGTV-HD on and putting the volume to the lowest setting, I lay there awaiting for the Coach de Bauer to come and give me a ride. As things turned out I didn't croak but I ended up just laying there, and as things usually turn out people start talking and one subject leads to another and then that subject invariably leads to you.

Mums Friend: "So I after that little girl embarrassed me, I told my sister from now on you're taking your own child to the doctor."

Mum: "Oh that reminds me of A.D., he always passes out when they stick him with needles."

Me: (Here we go again.)

My mum continuing to tell of all the times I've passed out from needles, syringes to be exact. Yes I am freaked by them. But only when directed at me. To be used by someone else I could care less. It's fight or flight, and since I can't exactly punch a nurse the flight it passing out and forgetting the whole thing. Though I did fight back when I was little, so much so that my mum, dad and anyone else around had to literally hold me or in a rare case strap me down to give me my shots while I screamed bloody murder, like, "Don't kill me!! I thought you loved me!!!" And then when they were done I was like, "Oh that was it?" Although seeing the white scared faces on the kids in the waiting room walking out (after hearing my ordeal) was fun. Muahahahahaha!!!

But the subject quickly changed and it wandered to our old gypsy days, living an a caravan. Like one of these:

Just kidding it was more like:

Ha Ha! Just kidding again, it was more like this, without the fancy add-ons, we at least had the skirting though:

It was memories long since forget, well not forgotten, but not the fondest either. And it got me thinking of when we parked it for a year in a caravan retirement park. Right on the edge across from an empty lot, and abandoned house that drunks, druggies, and all manner of vile creatures (human to be exact) would use during the night. Oh and to make it better right across the street to the corner diagonal to my room was the skankiest nude bar in town (since shut down). Although when your 12 with a new telescope, well you get the picture, but lets just say after a couple of looks it wasn't worth it. Like if you've ever seen The Cowboys where the two boys are talking about a whore house they peaked into and one says, "and that ladies bellybutton was as big as my fist" and John Wayne comes up behind him and says, "yeah I've been there myself years ago, probably the same lady" and the boys both look like hacking, yup, just like that. Besides that fatal drunken accidents, and nightly shootings were everyday happenings. Though a bullet through your room while you sleep is another thing. (It's bad enough crooks can't read addresses at night but when you have to yell at them through your window that the house they want to shoot at is next door, well that's just sad. Getting the "Ops..Sorry" was worse.)

Now seeing that there was a dark evil abandoned house across the street directly outside my room, you might think that I'd be scared. I was at first but with the telescope I'd get brave and see what was happening at night. Just average ghetto banter, druggies, drunks, homeless, prostitutes, people driving up and dropping off old trash, couches, ice boxes, etc, then driving off. But it was fun when some dummy disturbed the natural widlife that inhabited the house that really made watching worth while. Nothing like seeing a couple of crack heads run for their lives while being chased by rabid raccoons or freaky possums or how can I forget the guy gettting ready to get his thing on while his newly hired "woman" and then hitting the giant hornets nest and running out of the house with welts on his bum. This was actually in broad daylight. Needless to say we didn't spend long in that area.

So I thought about these things while lying there. Finally passing out and waking up sometime later, not even hungry and going home instead. So you may ask why on earth am I blogging about this at 12:56 am? Well here's why.

MTG: Oww!! What the? (digging under her blanket and pulling out a rubik's cube)

Me: Opps sorry I left that there.

MTG getting up and finding more stuff. Three remotes, a couple of books a magazine, Playstation wireless controler, mp3 player, cd player, box of tissue, headphones, several CD's, lint roller, and I think some change.

MTG: I've been gone for two days and you put all your stuff on my side of the bed?

Me: (saying jokingly of course) Last time I checked it was all my bed. (Thinking again: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!!!)

MTG without hesitation dropped an elbow into my gut. Then proceeded to place all my junk on top of me.

Me: What happened to the nice "get better sweetie, and think of me" you said yesterday?

MTG: That was before you said something stupid.

Me: I'm sorry. I'll stop saying stupid things.

MTG just looking at me.

Me: Most stupid things anyways.

Me lying there with stuff on me, rattling with every move. Staring at the ceiling. Sneezing, obviously keeping MTG awake.

Me: I can't sleep.

MTG: Well go do something that'll make you sleep.

And here we are. "Officer the cuffs are hurting me..."

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