C1: Actually I haven't seen Chicken Little yet. (really I haven't)
Mix Tape Girl (MTG): What?! You'll have to come see it.
MTG Sister: (nudges my side) In case you haven't figured out that's your official invite to our house.
I was at lunch with MTG and MTG Sis
Now MTG and I have been friends for years. But out of some paranoid family thing MTG never really invited me to her house. She has a crazy family, so she says. Except once but I couldn't go. Saturday was my first time ever. Not to say I have never met her family before. (First time I met her dad he gave me the iron claw on my shoulders..but that's another story for another time) So anyways plans were made. Me thinking we were just going to watch movies and hang out. Me thinking...me was wrong.
I go over later that day. Her dad was there. MTG seemed really nervous but happy.
MTG Dad: Would you like a green beer?
C1: Yeah sure.
I figure he's offering me a brew I better take one.
What I didn't know was that her dad was cooking BBQ. MTG didn't tell me to bring anything so I felt kinda bad for just showing up empty handed. MTG didn't tell her dad I was coming either. We were both surprised.
I sat on the couch, and MTG sis gave me the remote to the TV, and said I could change it.
MTG Dad: Sorry they have it on some sappy womans movie (Lifetime Network) You can change it. (Walks into kitchen with MTG and MTG Sis)
I see them all there talking, MTG seems nervous but is busy making fresh chile. I decide that I should change the channel from some awful made for TV movie. I think what's good to put on. I find a western playing on TMC, it looks good, westerns with Robert Mitchum are always good. MTG Dad walks back into living room.
MTG Dad: (with plate in his hand) Hey Robert Mitchum! Thank God someone changed it from that woman's movie.
MTG Dad hands me the plate.
MTG Dad: Hey you like pickles? (and give me plate) If you don't like it just leave it there and I'll eat it. (He walks back to kitchen)
I look at the snack he gave me. Its a pickle COVERED, I MEAN COVERED in CRUSHED RED PEPPER!!! The ultra SPICY kind!!! Now unbeknownst to most people I hate chile. (Bad experience as a child, I swore never again.) I could see MTG Dad glancing at me from the kitchen every so often, while doing whatever he was doing. I put on my best poker face and think, "He's either testing me or trying to kill me." So be it. I quickly ate the pickle, chile and all. I wasn't going to give MTG Dad a reason to doubt me. I quickly drank my beer too washing out the heat.
MTG then walks over with a bowl of chips and salsa and puts it there for me and sits down with me.
MTG: You ok?
C1: Never better.
MTG Sis comes over and puts on chicken little. Well trys to, for some reason the DVD won't play. We end up seeing Elizabeth Town and Hitch. All the while MTG Dad comes in and out from the back yard cooking on the grill. A few friends of her family come over and MTG makes margaritas. Could've used more tequila though. I sit through questions and we eat BBQ. MTG smallest sis mistakes me for someone else and immeditalely jumps on me when MTG Mom and Sis # 2 get home. MTG and family freak out!
MTG: No!! That's not #$#%^&*!! And pulls MTG littlest sis off me.
C1: It's ok, she's just playing.
MTG Mom: I'm sorry.
FYI: MTG littlest sis has downs. But she's a really cute kid.
MTG Little sis starts hopping up and down in the living room and starts removing clothes.
MTG: No!!! We keep our clothes on. (Looks at me) I'm sorry.
C1: Don't worry about it. She's just a kid.
MTG and I finish watching Hitch while the others are busy about the house.
C1: You didn't tell me your where having a BBQ. I should have brought something.
MTG: Don't worry about it.
MTG Dad walks by: Want another beer?
C1: Uh..in a little while.
C1 philosophy: Don't go to another man's house and drink all his beer, especially when dating his daughter. I was trying to play it cool. Fortunately this time it appeared to be working.
MTG Sis # 2, comes in and sits with us drinking a tiny margartia.
MTG Sis # 2: This is going to make me wonga. And starts talking to me.
MTG is looking at me like, please excuse my family.
Not long after we eat. MTG Sis # 2 sitting next to me with MTG on my other side. MTG Sis # 2 starts spacing out.
MTG Sis #2: I can't really handle my liquor.
C1: I see (said jokingly)
MTG Sis # 2 starts looking wonga. Slurring her words. She really can't hold liquor. She only had not even an ounce or margarita. Which in my opinion needed a heck of a lot more tequila. Before I know it MTG Sis # 2's head is on my shoulder asleep. I sit there and smile trying to ignore this fact. MTG is shaking her head. For some reason the convo quickly changes about me and I end up telling some funny family stories about myself. This amuses everyone there.
The night goes on, a little more weirdness insues. (Think of the weird things that happen on My Big Fat Greek Wedding, that was the rest of the night) We end up in the living room again.
MTG: (whispering in ear) I'm so sorry. I'll understand if you want to run out screaming.
C1: It's ok. Believe it or not, this feels pretty good, just like home.
Well not really but it makes MTG feel much better.
It gets late, and I leave.
MTG Mom: Come back whenever you want.
C1: Sure, I definately will.
But next time, don't try to kill me with Atomic Pickles.