Wait...I still...

Megatron says it best...


Stilfuct.wav

You want how much????!!!!!!

I'm sorry what? I ask stupefied at the admissions desk of the outpatient center where I'm scheduled for a Monday morning operation. The lady behind the desk can tell that I'm getting upset. "Uhm..we need $500 upfront in addition to your $100 insurance deductible." she says softly trying not to upset me. I know none of this is her fault and tell myself that and calm down.

"But why? Isn't my insurance paying for this?" I ask. "Most of it" she answers. She tells me all the business mumbo jumbo and insurance stuff that I don't understand as to why the additional $500 is needed. Which after I sit there and process it through actually reading all the registration documents pretty much amounts to the insurance paying jack for my stay and only paying for most of the surgery. I begrudgingly give the lady behind the admissions desk my bank card and she quickly and every so painfully deducts $600 from my bank account. I know feel sicker than if it were just my gall-bladder.

"I know it sucks" she tells me. "Tell me about it" I reply. "Used to be hospitals took care of their patients first and then worried about getting paid later. Now you can't even get into one without making what amounts to a down-payment on an apartment." I say out kinda loud. The older lady sitting behind me in the waiting room yells out, "Damn straight!!!" "I hear that" says another gentleman.

I finish filling out my paperwork and provide them with my power of attorney just in case something happens and I can't make decisions for myself. I recently updated this to include MTG just in case my parents aren't available to do this. After I leave the outpatient center I go to the doctors office to pay him his piece of the pie. Which I don't have a problem with, in fact I expected that. The girl there goes over everything I need to do Sunday night to get ready for the surgery. I thank her and start to head out. "Hey!!" she yells out. "Yeah?" I answer. "Wait let me validate your parking pass." I hand her the parking pass for her to stamp it. "Now you won't have to pay the parking garage fee." she says kindly. "Thanks a bunch." I say.

Surgery may be a bitch. But what's worse the the co-pays and lousy insurance coverage. BLUE CROSS BLUE SHEILD YOU SUCK!!!

Blah, blah,blah

I look at MTG through the reflection in the 360 mirror that I'm standing in front of, she sits there drinking a jack and coke and eating M&M's. The tailor has his measuring tape out and is making sure the cut for my new bespoke dress shirt is just so. He has the template from the last time I ordered a dress shirt, but he makes necessary adjustments as its been a while. Pinning more cloth in here, loosening a little there.

The building that the men's clothing store is in is new. They used to be in an old section of the mall across the street, but they finally moved into their own building. I've been coming here for quite sometime now. I usually buy all my formal and work wear from here. Just about everything I buy is tailored and since I basically wear suits all week long I pay a higher price for quality, but I'm content in the knowledge that these clothes will last 5 times longer than anything I buy at retail stores. I like the new store, its wide and bright and opened. No longer stuffy and old like it was in the mall. The same people work here. There's rows of fabric on the far walls, and suits that are pre-made you can get hanging there too, or you can have then hand made which I prefer. They still sell pre-made clothes but their not brands you can find at regular department stores. Well maybe Neman Marcus or Dillards. They have a large sitting area now that you can wait in as the salesmen and tailors wait on you hand and foot. You sit there in front of a giant plasma telle drinking anything you can ask for. Soda, water, tea, coffee, latte, a nice scotch, whiskey, jack and coke. And its all free. Well...actually I suppose it's a little to spend on customers on drinks and snacks, when you're there your probably going to at least spend no less than $1,000 bucks.

I had to get a new white dress shirt, as I pretty much completely destroyed my last one. And I only had it for 3 months. Stupid me I left a piece of chewing gum in my front shirt pocket. I didn't want to take the whole package of gum with me so I just put a single piece in my pocket. But I forgot about it and then washed the shirt, and put it in the dryer. Well basically the washer chewed the gum for me in the pocket and the dryer cemented it into the fabric. In other words it ain't coming out. Now my once favorite white dress shirt is now worn by MTG around the house as rumpus wear. I mean really it just looks like a stain on the pocket but damn it when you spend $140 bucks on a shirt cut only for you it hurts when you realized that it's your fault you messed it up.

So here I stand arms up being re-measured. I figure since I'm here I might as well go the whole nine yards and get a couple of white shirts and a couple more in different colours. As well as a new suit. After we finish the measuring the tailor takes me to decide on the fabric. The white is easy, but the style of fabric takes some mulling over. However the other two shirts takes at least an hour for me to decide on, as I try to decide the colour, if it should be solid, striped, texture. I finally decide on one deep burgundy red, and one blue with thin yellow stripes. Then I have to decide the style of cuffs, the collar style, buttons. It's a long process. And that's just the shirts.

I have time to waste right now as my surgery isn't scheduled till Monday morning. Seeing as I have plenty of time off, I decided to get this done. Besides I know they'll be done before I even have to go back to work. Well the shirts will anyways.

MTG seems to really like this place. I wonder why? Me thinks the drinks and M&M's. I had to get out of the house as I was getting buggy from being in doors all day and since the weather is finally nice enough to go out and about in. I still kinda upset though that I have to wait till Monday for surgery. But I'd rather wait and have the same doctor who worked on me last time, work on me again. He is very good. But I must say the pain gets a little worse everyday. I have more tests I have to take tomorrow. How much blood do they need to analyze? My arm is going to be a giant purple lump from all the needles that have been going in it.

Oh well better safe then sorry. MTG helps me pick out a few ties, and I pay and we leave. I just spent a good amount of cash and it feels weird paying that amount and walking out with a small bag of ties and collar stays and handkerchiefs. Well by this time next week my shirts should be done. I just need to remember not to put gum in my pocket again. Stupid, stupid stupid.

Count-down to Infinite Crisis

So it's official. I'm having surgery. When? I'm not sure yet but probably this coming week. It all depends on when my surgeon can schedule me in at the hospital. Hopefully it'll be an in and out thing, unless they find some other major issue to have to split me completely open. But looking at my ultra-sound results he didn't seem to think that would be an issue.

So here I sit typing away looking at the clock. MTG isn't here tonight. I actually spent the last couple of nights at my parents house at the bequest of my parents. Although I had to come home today. I can only take watching so much TVLand with my father and then switching to CourtTV for Cops re-runs. And of course the 9 o'clock bedtime too. But still it's nice to have your parents doting on you. Well, not really but at least their there.

MTG has been doting on me though. But not today. Tomorrow her dad goes in to the hospital to have a stint put into his heart. This is the prelude to the open heart surgery he has yet to have scheduled. But it won't be that far away now. But I don't mind when its your parents you have to stay home to help.

However sitting here watching television. (I am actually watching the telle. I never watch the telle. OMG what utter crap is on. Honestly how can one watch these shows?) While spacing out on my pills, it occurs to me. I gave someone today the go ahead to cut me open and take parts of me out. Someone is literally going to put things inside of me. Do truly trust this person? Maybe? This doctor did to a great job of taking out my tumors a few years back. But a icky sinking feeling is coming over me, and I actually feel scared. Of what I'm not sure, but I do. This is a complete 360 from how I felt earlier today, when talking to the surgeon. Take it out? No problem, go ahead. Telling my dad ever so casually that I was going to have surgery. Telling MTG. But now, now I'm not so sure.

Not that I'm not going to go through with it. I am, knowing that I will feel so much better afterwards but still. Still there just that little inkling of uncertainty that creeps ever so slowing and softly on me.

I should get some rest now. I'll need it since I'll probably be in the waiting room with MTG all day tomorrow.

What the?

And before I go to bed before these vicodin pills really do me in. Some other pills my doctor gave me today left me wondering if I should really take them or not. He said: "The only side effect of these pills is coughing. If you start coughing stop taking them immediately."

Huh? What the? Why do they make you cough? What are they doing to me to make me cough? Why the stop taking them immediately if they make me cough?

Me thinks I don't want to take these pills.

cough..cough..

Would you stop it, I'm not gonna die

Dad: Dammit!! I you're gonna have to have surgery. I know it, I know it.

Me: We don't know that yet. I'll know tomorrow after they take some tests. It doesn't hurt that bad anymore anyways.

Dad: No. You were in pain and I know now that you have to have surgery.

Me: Just be patient we'll see.

Dad: And you know what happens in surgery? People die that's what happens!!

Me: Well thanks for the encouraging thoughts dad. That's just what I wanted to hear.

Mum in the meantime is shaking her head at my fathers over-reacting. Hopping about with anxiety when I'm the one in pain. Oh did I mention that I might have to have surgery? If not then I probably am. But I'm hoping not, maybe they can fix me with pills or something. We shall see. I might have to have my gall-bladder taken out. Yikes. Blasted thing been bugging me for quite some time now. But we shall see.

Asides from my dad's freaking out MTG calls to check on my every 15 minutes or so. Are you alright? Do you need anything? I'm off in an hour, I'll be there soon. Do you have something to drink? Do you want a Sprite? A book? etc, etc. I tell her I'm fine but she worries herself silly over me.

Not really much to go over this weekend. I was pretty much out of it and slept almost the whole time. Although MTG scared the hell out of me on Saturday night. Apparently her folks had invited company over, and as it was late gave them her room and her sisters room to stay in. So imagine when MTG and sis got home there was someone sleeping in their beds. Needless to say they couldn't sleep on their couch as they were too lumpy. So in the middle of the night MTG and her sis come over to stay at my place. Seeing as I was sound asleep, imagine my surprise when rolling to the other side of my bed, I find someone there with me as well. Nearly falling out of my bed I finally realized it was MTG. Scared the crap out of me. Her sis was in the sofa bed downstairs. I was too out of it to notice. (The pain pills knocked me out)

The next morning I was thinking that MTG's dad was going to be pissed that they left in the middle of the night to come stay at my place. But this is not so as MTG tells me. Apparently now I am family at their house. Her parents (i.e.: Dad) going to sleep while I'm there, being able to go over whenever without them cleaning the entire house for company, and a few other things. Her mum and dad told her I am family know. Which I'm not quite sure what to make of it. So her dad blowing me off was his way of accepting me? Okay...yeah that makes sense. But I'll take it none the less.

Pretty much my weekend was me going out for a little bit to run errands and then coming home early and sleeping the pain away. Culminating in todays utter painful breakdown, which I finally left work early and went to the doctors, at my mums bequest. We went to a doctor she works with and he was nice. He gave me a quick once over and seeing as my mum had already diagnosed me schedule me for a series of tests and ultra-sounds tomorrow to check my gall-bladder. And I hate blood work. Ick!! I hate needles!!! Blaaahh!!! Tomorrow's going to suck goats I know it. However MTG has taken the day off to take me here and there, so that should be something. At least I'll have someone nice to smile oddly at while I try not to pass out from the needle pulling blood from my arm.

Curse you gall-bladder!!! Here I am eating right, exercising, being all around good to you and this is how you repay me. I know it's you gall-bladder, you broke my heart. If I'm good to you, you screw me, when I'm bad to you, you screw me. When I'm indifferent to you, you screw me. I cast thee out of thy body, you rotten excuse for a body part. You making me hate you only makes me more powerful, gives me focus. Ok I'm getting carried away there.

Hope you all had a better weekend then my crappy one. Here's to hoping I don't have to have surgery.

Salute!!

Updates

tink.......tink.....tink..tap..tink,tinktinktinktinkTINKTINKTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD....RUMBLE>>>>>>>>>KRACK!!!BOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

What? It's not supposed to rain!! What gives?

I'm looking out the window on my staircase into my small courtyard outside. The rain is pouring. I just got home and wanted to go for a jog. I guess not today. And I got all dressed up to go jogging for nothing. The trail at the park I've been going to is probably a big mud slide by now. Oh well.

I'll use this time for blogging, which I am sorry that I haven't been updating lately. Well life happens and things take away your time. But it'll just be a quick overview as I know think of the package of ground sirloin in my fridge that's been there a few days and I better cook it before it spoils.

First off some idiots keep bloody calling my mobile. I've told them they have the wrong number, but they won't listen. I'm tempted to put their phone number out on the web and let the pranksters have at it, if they don't stop. It's some stupid lady and some guy looking for some girl. As the last text message I got from them says: "Hey crazy gurl. Wake up. Want 2 no if you want 2 take us to the store. Lalo Y Sandra, Siempre Amor". I talked to the lady first cause she's the one that kept calling at first. I told her she had the wrong number, she seemed to understand. Then I'm guessing Lalo tried calling. He sounded like a complete idiot.

Lalo: "Hey gurl, what's up?"

Me: You have the wrong number, stop calling me.

Lalo: What, who are you? I don't have the wrong number.

Me: Yeah you do.

Lalo: No ah don't. Hold up. (yells to some lady in background) Aye!! What's up with this number? Some dude keeps answering. (lady responds that they have the wrong number) Oh

Me: I hang up.

They stopped for a few days but Lalo is at it again. Stupid idiot. I've a good mind to reverse address his number and get his address and put it on the net. The internet can be a wonderful thing.

Anyways on to other things.

MTG Dad: Hey how soon can AD get over here for food?

MTG: What?

MTG Dad: Do you think he wants to come over? He lives nearby right?

MTG: Yeah...(surprised he's asking about me)...uh yeah he does.

MTG Dad: Call him and ask him over. I've BBQ'd too much meat.

MTG: (Still in shock) Ok..

Now I know this probably doesn't seem like much but this is actually a huge deal. MTG's dad actually asking about me. Me. I repeat again, ME. I've thought he hated me, after all he did try to kill me with his atomic pickle. In fact I was just there the night before and he practically ignored me the whole time before he went to bed. Which I got used to, but for him to ask about me and want me to come over was a huge thing for me. MTG too. Needless to say when she told me: "Dad wants you to come over for dinner." I didn't say no, even though I was no where near home. And he actually talked to me. Seriously he did. Nothing spectacular just guy stuff. But he talked to me without interrogating me or giving me the evil eye. I feel so accepted, but in the back of my head I can't help but think that maybe he poisoned my food or has some diabolical plan for me ahead. But I'm choosing to think for the best.

I actually threw a small party this past weekend too. I would have so loved for some of you all to come. But alas we don't live near each other so I could not. I made Chicken Parmesan, the first time I've ever tried it and it came out pretty good. We ended up watching The Prestige, (awesome movie) while most of my friends were there. MTG went home to pick up her sister and change. She was also going to make a cake (well she made the batter and brought it with her to cook in my oven.) a rum cake, but she didn't have rum so she brought amaretto with her instead. It came out wonderful. And when she came back she dressed in something well....lets just say it was just for me. Ok if you're curious it was like this pic of J. Lo from Esquire, but with not that big a bottom, but an even prettier face.

After most of my friends left, MTG, MTG Sister and one of my last remaining friends watched French Kiss. Which I enjoyed actually. Unfortunately much to my sorrow, MTG couldn't stay after the movie was over as she had to take her sister home. Curses!! But she did stay after my last friend left for a while longer. :) But there's no need to go there.

Now for the scary screwed up part of that happened. I went home to visit my parents. When I got there my dad was about to wash his oversized land yacht of a van he has. I hate that thing and hate driving it even more. Anyways when I pulled up I decided to wash it for him along with wash my car while I was at it. So I did. I washed he rinsed off and dried his van. I detailed my car. All was good. We finished and my mum wanted to go to the store so I took her in my car. We were there for a good hour or so. It was a good morning, and then went back home, thinking everything was fine.

We get home and go in through the garage door. Everything seemed fine, my dad was probably inside already as all the stuff to clean the cars was already put up. I opened the garage door and stepped into the kitchen. Taking a few steps in I notice something on the floor. It's my dad. At first I thought that he was doing something from the way he was positioned. Like spraying for bugs which he does often, on his stomach looking under the couch. Then I noticed the dinner table pushed halfway against the wall in a random way and a chair flipped upside down and broken. I dropped the grocery bags and ran toward him.

AD: Dad!!! (I scream)

No response.

AD: (again I yell) Dad!!!

By this time my mum has walked in the door.

I touch my dad's back as he's lying face first on the ground a little blood coming from his mouth. At first nothing and then he moves a little.

AD: Call an ambulance.

Dad: No. Leave me. In God's name, leave me.

AD: No, you need help.

Dad: I'm ok. My muscles just stopped working again and I fell.

AD: I think you should get checked out.

Dad: There's nothing that can be done. I'll get up on my own, don't touch, it hurts too much.

My father suffers from post-polio syndrome. Every year I watch as it makes him weaker and takes away more of his life. It's not a good thing to see. This disease which eats away the muscle and nerves, renders my dad incapacitated at times. His legs/lower half of his body will simply seize up and he'll fall to the ground. As much as you want to help him there is nothing anything in medicine can do other than pain killers. And it limits him but he will never admit this, he will never stop. At times his whole body will seize up in a big muscle spasm, leaving him unable to move. And all you can do is watch and wait till it passes. It's not fun when you find him lying there unable to move.

I move aside as my mum gets a chair for him to sit on. Slowly he moves and picks himself up. Any touch to his body would send his muscles into another shock so I cannot help him, I can only watch as he slowly recovers himself. He finally stands and dusts himself off, wiping off the blood from his busted lip with his handkerchief. He sits down at the table which my mum has put back in place and tells me he'll be alright. All I can do is believe him. When I leave I tell my mum to let me know if she has to take him to the doctor. I know she will. A few days later my mum calls to check on me and tells me my dad's out to the store, so I know he's ok.

And thus is a quick recap of this past week and weekend. I'll write a few more things that happened later but I must start cooking that ground beef now before I get too lazy and forget. Although I'm not hungry in the least.

And in this moment...

Dearest blog,

I was going to write a post about the events of this past week. I was going to......... but I don't know how. I don't know the right words to describe what's happened and how I feel. I wish I did. I hope that the words come to me in my sleep. If they do I will share them with you. So much has happened. And in this moment..I am happy.

AD

Here we are now entertain us...

Damn it!! I had something funny and witty to say then MTG started talking to me and I completely forgot what I was going to blog about. Drat!! Hopefully I'll remember soon.

Anyways, I'm thinking up of a little game to play with my fellow music lovers out there. Basically what song did this line come from sort of thing. So here is the first go at it:

Where does this line come from?

"Christ you know it ain't easy, you know how hard it can be, the way things are going, their gonna crucify me."

Here's the twist, in order to answer this you must give me the song title, name of the artist/group/band, album it came from and date it came out.

What you didn't think I would make this easy did ya? Muahahahahahaha!!!! (evil laugh) But you cannot cheat. Repeat you cheat you're disqualified. That means no Googling, Yahoo, MSN, or whatever the above lyrics to find where it came from. You either know or you dig through your own music collection to find out.

Of course I wouldn't make you do all that work for nothing. I'm thinking a personal mix tape as a prize. You choose the mood of the music you want to listen to, and I'll make it for you. How's that? Sound good? Splendid.

Now on to other things that made my day. I signed up for emusic's, ebooks. I loved it. At first I wasn't going to get the book thing, but I checked and they had "Love Is a Mix Tape" on it and so I couldn't resist. And Rob Sheffield himself narrates it. Joy of joys!!! Oh and they also have a few other books that I love too that I plan to download. This is great for jogs and the conundrum of what to listen to at work. Sad to say crazy lady at work was playing her sad bastard country music again at work today. Even Pterodactyl Lady agreed that it was too early in the week for sad bastard music. Grrrrrr..and she had it cranked too. I like country but you can only take so much. I swear I'm going to disable her sound card if she doesn't stop. >:{

PS: I still can't remember what I was originally going to write about but oh well.

I see you

Oh and one more quick update. I let my friend convince me to by a web cam. I know frightening. Anyways maybe when I get around to it, I'll do a video post. Though I might need persuading. Though I tried it out, and I think it messes up my voice, cause I swear I don't sound like a little kid the way this things sounds.

Kids say the darndest things, & Today's Hymn is "Light My Fire"

I had a very interesting conversation with one of my friends kids while I watched them Friday night. We were talking about dreams for whatever reason. Here's a snippet of a dream that one of my friends kids told me. Note that this kid is like 8 years old. But he's fun

K: Do you dream?

Me: Yes

K: What about?

Me: I dunno, stuff.

K: Do you dream about your girlfriend?

Me: (looks blankly and surprised) Wha...?

K: Girls do you dream about girls?

Me: Uh..sometimes......(trying not to laugh)

B: (Who is K's older brother, he's 9) Tell him about your dream, I dare you.

K: Nah..

B: Do it

Me: You have to tell me now, I'm curious.

K: (Blushes)

B: He dreams about girls

Me: Is that so

K: (giggling) Yeah

Me: Tell, tell, tell

K: No way

Me: Aww..come on don't hold out on me.

B: Yeah K do it. Stop being chicken

K: Nah

B & Me: Tell, Tell, Tell!!!

K: Alright,,geeze

B: This is funny

Me: Ok go

K: I had this dream that I was taking about bath with 4 girls from my class

Me: (horrified look on my face, but trying not to bust out laughing)

B: Were you naked?

K: Well duh, we were taking a bath

B: Hah, hah, you like girls.

Me: What the? Were did this come from?

K: I dunno

Me: Yeah, I honestly don't know what to say to that

B: He has like 4 girlfriends in class

Me: What???

K: I cut back I had six

Me: (Blank stare)

Me: (after regaining memory) Uh...lets play on the Playstation instead ok guys

B & K: Yeahhh!!!!

Those wacky kids. I need to have a talk with their dad about K. He's turning into a little casanova.

I visited with my dad this weekend before going to a party with MTG. Though I thought that my mum would be home too. But she was at work. I took my dad to Wal-Mart to get some things. On the way there, Jose Feliciano's version of "Light My Fire" came on, and my dad couldn't help but sing along.

Dad: I love this song.

Me: I know

Dad: Light my fire, light my fire, light my fire (imitating Jose)

Me: (giggling)

Dad: What's so funny?

Me: You don't remember do you?

Dad: Remember what?

Me: A long time ago at church, we got up to sing a hymn. And I guess you were bored or not paying attention or whatever. Half-way through the hymn, you were singing, "Light my fire, Light my Fire, Light My Fire"

Dad: I did?

Me: Yes remember? Mum and I were laughing so hard we were crying, and we had to leave during the middle of the thing cause we couldn't stop laughing. And you didn't even realize you were saying "Light My Fire".

Dad: Oh yeah...I remember now. Vaguely

Me: Vaguely? We've never been back to church since. That was like 13 years ago.

Dad: Shhh...Jose's on.

Thus this is probably why I haven't been to church in ages. God forbid I show up and insult the Almighty by singing Doors tunes, or some other band while there.

Oh, I went to a party this weekend too. A graduation party for a guy I can't stand. It sucked. The end.