Monday, November 19, 2007

Parlez-vous Klingon?

Ah..comics. I read them regularly as I have ever since my brother got me hooked on Spider-man when I was a wee little Dodger. However note that I didn't say I collected them. I get them read them and recycle them. Or donate them to some place where kids might like them.

I couldn't really tell you all of the story arcs, or new characters. I'm only aware of a few things, in comic book land. Why do I speak of this you might ask yourself? Well, it's a most interesting story.

The comic shop where I frequent is very nice. They guys (and gal) that works there are very nice. Yeah they know their comic stuff but it's not like going in and that's all they talk about. Far from it. The best way I can describe it is like "Championship Vinyl" on High Fidelity. (Albeit they can be comic snobs from time to time. And look down on someone who thinks they know what their talking about when they don't.) They talk about the stuff with customers but they don't live it. Well most of them anyways. The manager guy that I've know for a few years is actually really smart. He just graduated from college, and is going to get married. When talking to him he doesn't talk about the latest books etc. In fact all of them really don't unless their asked by customers. (I've gone out with a few of them for drinks and we talked about anything else but comics.)
I usually go in every few weeks to see what's new and pick up a Batman comic or see what looks interesting. I like their shop because they also carry off the wall comics, that are more just pop art/poetry stuff than regular comics. This is were I found the amazing short book (The Plain Janes, which I highly recommend). Anyways, it's still a comic shop. So you get the geeks and nerds in too. I consider myself a slight geek. (As in I'm aware of geeky things but not much)

So I stop by today to browse around. The guys behind the counter are just there shootin' the shit as they say. The manager guy I know comes and says hello, and tells me what's up and we just talk. I peruse around aimlessly looking for something new and interesting. A few moments later a bunch of kids show up. The manager informs me that their going to have a "Magic" the gathering meeting for people to play in. A couple of the guys into that take care of the whole thing in the back game room they set up. (I've yet to venture into there, out of sheer fear.) It's mostly teenage kids but there's some odd adults too. The guys working there put on their best faux smiles and politely answer questions. It's their jobs.

A girl walks in wearing a red cape and I dunno who to describe it...uhm...damsel dress. (I kid you not) She talks about herself in the third person, and to make it worse she has three guys catering to her every command. All of us there stop what were doing and just stare. Having all our "WTF?" faces on. They go to the back game room. We all laugh once their out of earshot. But that was not the worst to come. Not a few minutes after that, a group of (I kid you not) Klingons walk in. The girl that works there turns around and walks towards me laughing and saying "Oh-my-God."

The...ahem..Klingons, all grunt in unison and do their salute thing. Next thing I know..the head Klingon (I kid you not) is asking the manager something, in Klingon. Me I would've busted out laughing. I guess the managers' been through this before. Without flinching or even looking up from a form he was filling out he says, "You're gonna have to speak English. I don't speak Klingon."

The head Klingon says something back to his group in Klingon and they all laugh in unison. He then proceeds to ask the manager stuff in English. After which they go back into the game room too. I'm thumbing through a comic of Last of the Mohican's, that's actually pretty well done. It's spot on with the novel. But as soon as their gone I can't stop laughing. I laugh so hard I start to cry. I ask the manger, "Parle-vous Klingon?" He busts out laughing. "Can you believe that crap? I swear next time that happens I'm calling this gaming thing off." "But it's Magic. Who the hell comes as a Klingon for a Magic game?" exclaims one of the other workers. "Or at least as something cool, like a Wookie," says another.

"I think I'm gonna stop coming here. It's too creepy." I jokingly say. Either that or brush up on Klingon.

"shQUo duCh!!" Whatever the hell that means.

On a downer though, I think MTG purposefully gave me her bugs. My throat is starting to get scratchy and my nose runny. Nuts!! I wonder if there's a phrase for "Aww..crap" in Klingon?

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