Thursday, June 05, 2008

Vesti la giubba

I suppose everyone keeps something from their past. Some embarrassing pieces of history. Like most packrats I keep a lot of unnecessary junk. Upon organizing our record collection together Mix Tape Girl and I came across THE BOX.

I think just about every man has THE BOX. You know that special place where yo keep cherished memories and or porn. No my box doesn't contain porn, I proudly display that. Just kidding. No my box contains those embarrassing letters, notes, pictures, numbers, trinkets from past girlfriends. And MTG found it, awe crap!

MTG violently shaking THE BOX: "What's in here?"

Me starring like a deer caught in head lights: "Uh"

MTG opens THE BOX and looks at me with a huge grin. Taking the box to the bed she spills the contents out. I sit opposite from her and start looking at all the junk I've accumulated.

MTG: So when did this start?

Me: Years ago, hence the box being an old British Knights shoe box. I just kept trinkets from girls from my past.

MTG: Everyone?

Me: I think so. Even the ones I really didn't like.

MTG: There's so much stuff here. Can you name all of them?

Me: I usually don't kiss and tell but I've nothing to hide so here it goes.

Kathy, Michelle, Beverly, Jessica, Beverly again (yes the same one), Florence, Maria, (picking up Flo's and Maria's pics and pointing out, same year same time, but not really what it sounds like), Laura, Lilliana, Mary, I think I have missed a few.

MTG giggles uncontrollably: What you had one every year?

Me: In school, pretty much yeah.

MTG: No way, I would have never had you pegged for that.

Me: Tiss true. To be honest most of these girls I never really went after, they came to me for whatever reason. Go fig. (It should be noted that as macho as this sounds, it's true. I never went after these girls, the exceptions being Beverly and Michelle. They stalked me, and I have no idea why to this day.)

MTG: What do you mean they stalked you.

Me: Okay take Kathy for instance. I actually didn't really like her. I just gave in.

MTG: How so?

Me: She used to corner me everyday and kiss me and drag me by the arm everywhere with her. Hence when you see her pic (holding up pic) you'll notice the scratched out eyes, the blackend teeth from my pen, and the devil horns. And she told everyone I was her BF and she was going to marry me when we grew up. I should note this is in grade school, I still hate her.

MTG: You so nuts. You're keeping a grudge from grade school?

Me: Yes of course!!

MTG: Okay, Florence next. (Holding up the pic)

Me: Florence was more of a really good friend than a GF for most of the time. Again I never went after her. I just remember the first time she sat in front of me on a bus in school (9th grade) during a field trip and starred at me the whole time. Literally starring at me. I thought she was weird or at least possessed. And then she stalked me during lunch at school, until finally she came and talked to me.

MTG: What?

Me: Yes, she would wait after my last class before lunch and then follow behind me. Like 4 yards back. I caught on and messed with her and made sudden twists and turns and literally ran down the stairs at school to get away at first. Then she finally came up and told me "Are you trying to avoid me?" I dunno how but we became instant best friends after that.

MTG laughing uncontrollably: Are you nuts? You hooked up with this girl who was obviously stalking you?

Me: Well..when you put it that way. Yeah. But she really was nice, and my only ever asian girlfriend.

MTG crying as she's laughing so much. Sorting through the pictures and picks one up: This one.

I grab the picture and look at it. It's Laura, I look at our picture hugging each other. Oh man.

Me: This is Laura. I will honestly say asides from you, this is my only other serious relationship.

MTG gets quiet.

Me: This is when my gypsy family moved out to the middle of nowhere USA (Think rural like Napoleon Dynamite), where the only school activities were the FFA or nothing. I was actually in the in crowd when I moved there. I suppose because I came from the big city. Lets just say Laura taught me a lot about growing up. "Vesti la giubba".

MTG: Put on the costume?

Me: It's a thing I will alway remember. I would say that if by some odd chance we would have stayed there things would have gotten really serious between us.

MTG: Like married?

Me: Maybe. I dunno. But as always my crazy gypsy family decided to move again just as I was getting comfortable. Pulling me out of school without warning and taking off.

MTG: Did you get to say goodbye at least?

Me: Briefly. I think she thought I was playing. Never saw her again. I spent the following year being anti-social and wearing a hoodie and black jeans everyday in protest for moving so much. That's when Lilliana stepped in. (I hold up Lilly's pic)

MTG takes Laura's pic and the others and the trinkets, boondoggle key chains, slap bracelets, notes and puts them back in the box. The box is pretty much falling apart.

MTG: I'll put this back where I found it.

Me: No you can toss it. I don't need it anymore.

MTG: But it has stuff from your past.

Me: I don't need stuff from girls from my past. I have a future with you, so what's the point. I'll always have my memories. Unless I get Alzheimer's.

MTG: Are you sure? I don't care if you keep it. It doesn't bother me.

Me: I'm sure. (I say while sorting through more of our CD's we're combining) You know between us we have like 4 albums of "Fleetwood Mac". Do you want to take a couple to trade at CD Exchange?

MTG: Yes, put it in the exchange pile on the table.

Me: BTW do you have a BOX?

MTG: I have no such thing. My trinkets are out in the open.

Me: Huh?

MTG: You see those ceramic gnomes? Let me tell you about them.

Me: Oh dear....

On another note, shout out to Coaster Punchman for the shout out on his blog. Like I say I felt like I won an Oscar when he mentioned me. I don't mind being stalked by other awesomely awesome bloggers. Go have a look over at his blog when you have a chance. Can't go wrong there. Oh and on a side side note, CP is the only person to ever have talked to Mix Tape Girl, via the Mary Tyler Moore Service. Which she loved by the way. Though CP you might not have know you talked to MTG at the time. Just thought you might like to know.


Coaster Punchman said...

Ah ha! I do occasionally receive MTM requests for complete strangers so I guess she was one of them. Glad it served its purpose.

I too have a box(es) of things like that except it's not limited to past romantic ties - it's just a bunch of crap that is somehow sentimental that I will be able to open 20 years from now and say "wow, remember this?" before putting it back in the box. I have been considering going digital with this which would save me some space.

gizmorox said...

I have a bunch of boxes of random things like that, but like CP it's not necessarily romantic. I usually find them again every time I move and that's about it. That's really cool that you were willing to let MTG trash it, though.