Remember...land on your feet next time

At Lowe's with my older brother. We were pricing swing sets for his son. Who is still a baby so I don't know exactly why we are yet. Anyways....

AD Bro. This swing set should be ok right?

AD: Yeah sure, I guess. I dunno, I'm not a kid anymore.

AD Bro.: I suppose. What do you think dad would want for the boy?

AD: Knowing him he's going to get something nice. It's his first grandchild so it'll be good. He's chopping down the tree in the back yard just for a playground thingy.

AD Bro: He's gonna hurt himself doing that.

AD Bro. Hey. Remember when we were little and I dared to you jump off the swing.

AD Bro points to a metal set that is very tall and could actually fit adults. I look at it and reminisce.

AD: Of course how could I forget.

One of the many places we lived at growing up was in front of a school with a playground. The playground was made of old rail road ties and sheet metal. Giant bolts and jagged edges every where. When you got hurt and cut etc, you wore the scars like badges of honor.

(Flashback harp type music comes to mind then.......we're on the playground many years ago)

AD Bro: Ok, watch me. (He climbs to the highest point on the swing and lets go of the swing at its highest and jumps and lands on his feet) Now you try.

AD: I dunno how.

AD Bro: It's easy just swing to your highest and then let go and jump.

AD: Are you sure?

AD Bro: Yes. Come on do it. I dare you.

AD: I dunno

AD Bro: I double dog dare you.

AD: Alright fool watch out. (Using my best Mr. T impression)

I swing, hard and fast. The old metal swings squeaking with every thrust of my body. I climb higher and higher. It's exhilarating. I get as far high up as I can go.

AD Bro: Now let go!! Jump.

I let go. I let go. Again I let go. I'm at the highest point I can go and let go. I'm so high I can see over the small tower of the playground and down to our house at the bottom of the hill. I'm a good 10-12 feet in the air. I should mention that these were old metal swings cemented in the ground and were gigantic, adults used them all the time. Again I let go.

AD Bro: JUMP STUPID JUMP!!!

I just let go.

I just let go.

I let go of the swing. I'm still in the sitting position. My legs are straight up in front of me. For a brief moment I'm completely weightless........weightless

Then gravity kicks in. I fall fast and hard. I'm still in the sitting position. I'm falling, feels like forever.

Still in the sitting position. Then for whatever reason instead of putting my legs to land in front of me, I put them straight ahead of me. I hit the ground. BAM!!!

I land ass first into the ground. Unfortunately most of the sand my the swing sets are gone from foot traffic. So now all there is was a little sand and hard hard earth. BAM!! I hit the ground. I felt my spine quiver and contract. I sit in shock for a moment. Then the pain sets in. I lie on the ground yelling.

AD: MY BACK MY BACK!!! I BROKE MY BACK!!!

AD Bro: You idiot, you're supposed to land on your feet not your butt!!!!

AD: MY BACK!!!! I BROKE MY BACK!!! (At which point I jump up and run in circles holding my back and screaming.)

AD Bro: You didn't break your back.

AD: How do you know?

AD Bro: If you broke your back you wouldn't be running around screaming right now.

AD: (With tears in my eyes) Oh....yeah.......MY BACK!!! I BROKE MY BACK!!!

AD Bro is laughing hysterically at me now.

AD Bro. Stop crying. If you keep crying I'm going to tell mom and you won't be able to come play outside anymore.

AD: (Still teary eyed) Ok...sniffle.. This is all your fault.

AD Bro: Shut up.

AD Bro gets back on the swing set. Still mad at him for daring me to jump, I pick up a rock and throw it at his meat and two veg, while he swings upwards and score a direct hit. He falls to the ground in pain and I ran like hell. I ran down the hill of the playground. But he got up and picked up a rock to.

Now from what I've been told I looked real funny in this next part. One of my friends was walking up the hill and saw what happened. I'm running down the hill, my brother right behind me. I can feel him throw the rock at me. I hear it coming. BANG!! It hits me right in the lower back really hard. I remember feeling the rock and my knees buckle. I threw my arms up in the air and fall to my knees and rolled down the hill towards my friend. My friend told me I looked like William Dafoe in Platoon when he gets shot. Said it looked really funny.



My bro ran down to me. I'm laying on the ground laughing.

AD: Lets do that again.

AD Bro: Ok

Back to regular time.

AD: Yeah this one is nice. But he's going to need a little bro to show him how to use it right.