Do you ever feel happy yet miserable at the same time? I don't mean physically sick or anything but just...."blah" is the best I can describe it.
Do you ever just have the feeling that you mustn't be where your at, and that you need to leave no matter what and never look back?
Do you ever know that things are going too perfectly that it feels all wrong for whatever reason?
Do you ever just stand in the rain and watch the world pass by for a few minutes?
Do you ever stop and listen to a street musician? Not for a minute, but listen to his set.
Or how about looking for art in all the oddest places? Graffiti, stickers, stencils, chalk drawings?
As of late the whole urge to uproot myself has been uber strong. My gypsy self has been urging me to get up and go. But the thing is I don't want to. Do I dare leave it all behind like my family has for as long as I can remember? Never, no I will not. But I feel like I'm in the wrong place and just want to fly away if I could like Superman.
I couldn't fathom the thought of leaving what I have now. Plus the fact that MTG and I are progressing along more than I would have imagined. I don't think I mentioned that we were friends for a long time before we ever got together. It's raining again. So you can't see the racing stripes of dirt on my car anymore cause the whole thing is filthy again. But upon getting out of my car after work, I couldn't just help but stand in the rain and let the drops fall on my face. It just felt right.
As I've mentioned before I'm a sticker fiend/art fiend. I doodle and post stickers everywhere I go. Not exactly graffiti but it's not exactly vandalism either. I'd like to consider myself a junior Banksy wannabe. Stenciling art all over that makes people think. For now I'm content to do this on the board room dry board at work. Although I have been placing stickers all over the building too. In mostly unreachable places. Say the ceiling in the men's restroom, the top of the elevator, on various ceiling tiles in the hall ways and on the side of the security camera downstairs. Oh and lets not forget the FedEx and UPS drop off boxes.
It gets kinda tense in the office from time to time. Mostly because its all women, and their either hot or cold or have some sort of tiff with each other. So they've all formed their own little clicks, which I stay out of. Although I'm generally welcomed by all cause I get along with everyone. I pretend to be buddy, buddy with Pterodactyl Lady and Senor Dry Toast. Though truth is I can't stand either of them and I absolutely abhor having to spend my day in the same room with them. Needless to say we go news today. Our head office is doing a social gathering, the head office is in another state. So this Friday they are taking off early and going and doing something like bowling and stuff. They want us to do the same. Problem is most of these women now barely tolerate each other as it is, so I don't relish the thought of having to spend extra time with them acting like their all friends when later they'll be talking smack about each other. Thus my need to do thought provoking art to clear the air and joke about things going on in the office.
I'm a bit relieved as last night I gave a presentation entirely in French for about an hour. It's a long story, (its for work) but I did it. Though I need to work more on my liaison's. It's not often I get to speak French so I cherish any chances to. MTG helped me immensely with this as she speaks it even better than I do. However MTG is out of town right now, playing tour guide for some friends who have never been to NYC. Basically driving them around and keeping them from making stupid touristy mistakes. However I have been getting daily calls and updates. And of course the "You're going to do fine on you presentation." message as well. Followed up by the missed call after the presentation, with a message that said, "Just calling to see how you did. I know it was great. Oh DON'T bother calling back, its like midnight and I'm tired and am going to crash from walking NYC all day. If you call I might get grumpy and snap at you. So be warned. Ok love you miss you, bye." After which I just laughed cause she did sound tired and I thought about calling just to annoy her, but figured I better not, cause I'd probably wake her friends up too, and then they'd all let me have it.
So there's no point to this other than to say I'm just feeling "blah". Who knows it's just a feeling. I'm going to finish re-reading a book I'm on and listen to a mix I just made which I am posting for your listening pleasure as well. Oh do let me know what you think. It's eclectic at its best.