Friday, April 06, 2007

My messed up day. I can't believe it's freezing down here. Last year is was already 99 degrees in south Texas today it only got up to 46. Thanks La Nina. I shouldn't complain at least we're not in drought anymore and under water restrictions.

Today was a very bad day. Messed up I should say. It keeps burning through my head. The awful images of the day. I got up late. I knew I should have gotten up at 7:30. I set my alarm clock for 7:30 and kept using the sleep button till 7:50. I got up took an overly long hot shower. It felt so good. It's so cold outside I didn't want to meet the day. The water surrounded me like a hot blanket. After about an hour I finally got out.

Holy Crap!!! I said out load. I'm late!!! I had an early appointment at 9:30. It was 8:50 when I got out of the shower. I'm rushing to get dressed. My glasses are fogged up so I take my special soft cleaning rag to them. They break. Of all the times to break when I'm running late. I can't find the screws. They fall into the overly thick plush carpet.

Damn!! I scream!! I don't have time to search. But I can't use my old glasses either since my eyes have gotten much better and my old prescription is now way too strong. I don't have extra screws in my eye glasses kit. Then it hits me. Take off the screws from your old glasses. I do and I fumble my way through them. I finally put my glasses back together and leave my old pair missing screws and all on my bed. I rush and get dressed. Stupid dentist, of all the times I decide to go. I haven't been in years. I know that's terrible to say but its true. I haven't had any complaints with my teeth and I take ultra good care of them. I just don't like going. But my friend works for one and got me an appointment. She'd do most of the work on me , and I don't have a problem with her sticking things in my mouth. She's not a stranger. But I have to be there on time.

I go out to the garage. My car is covered.

STUPID F*($%#$% CAT!!! The cat threw up on top of the car again. Giant yellow fur balls. I have to clean it all off before I go. The vomit ran down the top and down the windshield. I quickly do these things and it takes forever.

Finally I'm on the road. Upset, more than half asleep, cranky and I can't find anything decent to listen too. Without good morning music I'm useless for the rest of the day. To top it off there is freezing rain pelting the earth. I hydroplane a few times on the regular streets, when I'm trying to go from coming to a complete stop.

I finally make it to the freeway. It's Saturday morning. A little after 9 am. No one's out. A few cars but not much really. There's construction all over the town. The highways have nothing but concrete barricades on all sides. Most people get scarred of this. I'm more than used to it but still I take my time as the road is too wet, and I pray there is no ice on it either.

I finally find a chill out mix to listen too. A CD I have long since forgotten I made. I forgot my satellite at home so there is no 200 + channels to choose from. And I don't like local radio besides the college station. KSYM RULES!! But in the morning they're playing old folk music. Not for me.

I settle into my driving and speed up just a bit to make up time. I come close to the major interchange in town. I slow down a lot as it has a major twist in the road and I don't want to go flying off. I see a police car up ahead in the construction area. From a far it looks like the construction guys are going to shut the freeway like they normally do on weekends. Then I get a little closer.

Two police cars. I figure they might have pulled someone over. I get closer. I see a few police officers standing around drinking coffee in the construction island under the over passes. These over passes are start at about 50 feet up, the tallest is about 100 ft and there's going to be one on top of that too. Then I see it.

The BODY. THE DEAD BODY. Holy SH*T I say out loud. Some guy committed suicide off one of the highest over passes. He jumped and landed in the construction island. The ground was muddy from the rain so he's half sunken in. But you still see it. His head is twisted the wrong way. His limbs were askewen and dislocated. He was bloated lying in a pool of blood and rain. One of the officers is just starting to take pictures of the body. He landed right by the freeway.

This must've just happened as they haven't covered the body up yet. The freeway isn't closed and the traffic keeps me on my same lane close to the body. I get closer and closer. I see the mans face. Mouth partially opened. But his eyes. His dead eyes were opened and looking into traffic. Cracked open head and all. I get closer what I see is too disgusting to tell. I drive past, the officers gathered in a circle drinking coffee and writing in notebooks. One of them taking pictures. The officers have plums of steam coming from their mouths as they talk.

I drive past them to the other side of the construction island. The construction workers are under the overpass. They started a bonfire in a metal trash can and are all around it. They look gray. Literally gray. They must've found the body I think to myself. All I can think of is the man's dead eyes looking into traffic. Looking at me. It bothers me so much it makes me sick. I want to throw up. I hold it in. Behave man!! You've seen and been through worse.

And I have. I held someone close to me in my arms as they took their last breathe. I've seen people dead. I've seen someone shot and killed right next to me. I've seen a hell of a lot worse. So why is this bothering me? And then it hits me as I look in my rear view mirror. The traffic slows down to look. People watch. Everyone just drives past the dead man like so many cats and dogs and squirrels that you see smashed to bit in the road. You feel sorry for the animal but shrug it off. More where those came from. But this...this was a human. Something compelled him to jump. What was he thinking? Why? Did he want attention? Was the weight of the world too much?

I feel sorry for the man it's all I can do. I make it to my appointment without throwing up. It still bothers me at the docs office but I don't tell my friend.

A few hours later I drive back through the freeway. The body's gone but you can still see the pool of blood. The rains washed it about and you could see it. The red splashes of the water as the rain hits it and makes it flow. People drive by not knowing a few hours earlier a dead man was there starring with dead eyes into traffic.

Like so many cats and dogs...like so many cats and dogs...just driving by. Hell of a way to go.

1 comment:

Beth said...

A heartbreaking way to go. How awful that he ended as just roadkill to so many of those driving past.

Great post, BTW. I've lived those hell days many a time myself.