What was the first recorded music you bought?
My first recorded music I bought was a a kiddie record I still have it. It had like Puff the Magic Dragon and stuff. It was a compilation of songs. My first official record was the soundtrack to the Beatles Yellow Submarine movie. The original soundtrack mind you with the music and the score music, not the re-released CD that came out a few years back.

What was the most recent?
The last CD I bought was Arcade Fire – Neon Bible, pretty good, not played so much yet. But seems to me they will be. I downloaded “Say It Right” by Nelly Furtado a couple of days ago, I love that song.

What was the first professional music show you ever went to?
My brother took me to see Depeche Mode when we lived in Austin when I was like 11. I had so much fun and have been hooked on Depeche Mode ever since.

The most recent show?
San Antonio Symphony – They played the source music to Warner Bros. cartoons. Like when Bugs Bunny did the Barber of Seville and stuff, they played the music and the cartoons showed on a big screen in the theater, it was awesome.

What's your desert island album?
Ohh…just one desert island? Nuts this is hard. Uhm….Paul Van Dyk : Global (Best of), my favorite mix of “Forbidden Fruit” is on it. ^_^

What's your favorite album/song title (not the actual album or song)?
“Professor Booty” – The Beastie Boys Why you ask? Cause with lyrics like “Cause life ain’t nothing but a good groove, a good mixed tape will put you in the right mood.”, that’s why.

What's your favorite album art (include an image of it if you can)?
I’m going to say Groove Armada – Goodbye Country Hello Nightclub. It’s simplistic but utterly cool at the same time.

What’s your ideal choice for a karaoke song?
I always have to do, no matter what at karaoke R.E.M.’s “It’s the end of the world as we know it” It’s fast and its fun and after a few beers, I don’t care if I don’t get all the words right.

You hate that song … but it won’t leave your head if you hear it.
That one that was played forever that goes “I don’t want to wait for our lives to be over, I want to know right now what will it be”. By some lady I forget who. I hated it then I hate it now and now it’s stuck in my head. Nuts.

Which is cooler — vinyl? CD? cassette? 8-track?
Vinyl!! Hello. I DJ, and yes I use CD and MP3 nowadays but nothing can ever beat vinyl. Synthesized scratching is nothing like the real deal.

Coffee and Cigarettes



I don't smoke. Nope not one bit. I've tried it, wasn't for me. But as weird as I am, I love the smell of tobacco. Odd huh? Well today I needed a spot of coffee actually for lunch. There is a little cafe down the street where you can sit outside and of all things they allow smoking there.

The morning wore on like most mornings do at work. The coffee at work was ok, but I just needed something else. Something was missing. What is it? I wondered t myself. Then it hit me, I just needed to smell the slightest bit of cigarette smoke with the coffee. To me for some stupid reason the two smells just go perfectly together. And there is even a movie about it, which I think is smashing by the way. Anyways....

For some reason this smell always reminds of being in Mexico or at a cafe in Italy or France. (note to self must go back to those three places much more often) But today it would remind me of my last and recent trip to Monterrey. The morning I spent drinking coffee at my Tio and Tia's house outside on a perfect day. My Tio sitting across from me smoking a cigarette while we had coffee. The sky was so blue and the warmth was just perfect, as we talked. Sipping coffee, and him smoking his cigarettes, talking about the mix CD, Mix Tape Girl gave me.

So I decided to go to the cafe at lunch. No one sits outside at this place, and I find it rather sad. I ordered a coffee and a sandwich and sat outside. I sat in the sun under a cloudless blue sky. But I needed that smell. So I quickly ran to the store next door and bought a pack and a lighter. I came back to my table. There was a lady a few tables away now on her laptop, it surprised me cause like I said no one sits outside at this place for whatever reason. I took out the pack I bought and light it up.

The lady quickly looks up at me. I hold the cigarette in my hand kinda close to my mouth. I guess from her vantage point it looks like I'm gonna take a puff. But I stare at the cigarette for a while, the smoke slowing coming out. It smells good to me, but I don't want to smoke it. I just needed the smell. The lady's still looking at me. I put it down in the ash tray to burn away. I get out a book I'm reading from my bag and finish my coffee and my lunch.

As I get up to walk back to work, I throw the pack and lighter I bought into the trash bin next to the lady. "Good for you." She says. "Quiting is the hardest thing to do."

I give a puzzled look and then smile and say, "Yes it believe it is."

Animal noises



Senor Dry Toast to Pterodactyl Lady have been throwing barbs under the radar at each other a little more than usual lately. Me and my other co-worker get to watch and giggle at their pointed words to each other.

Today was unusually funnier than normal.

Mr Dry Toast: "Pterodactyl Lady just ignores me when I talk, with her headphones on."

(Recently Pterodactyl Lady has started wearing head phones at her desk. She wants to hear her music, which is fine by me cause me being a stickler for good music, must say her choice in music sucks)

Pterodactyl Lady: I wear them and have them loud so I can ignore you!! So I can ignore your barn yard noises. Right doesn't he make noises when ever he does something? (She asks us.)

I quickly turn around and giggle. Mr Dry Toast is turning red and getting embarrassed.

Mr Dry Toast: I do not make noises.

Pterodactyl Lady: Yes you do. Every time you get up or something you make some noise with your lips. Like a horse. (She imitates the noise. He does sound just like a horse. He always flutters his lips when he moves about. It sounds like a horse when they whinney.)

Mr Dry Toast gets very quiet as Pterodactyl Lady laughs at him. For the rest of the day he tried not to make any noise. He did once unintentionally, I was gonna call him on it, but figured he'd suffered enough.

On another work note, something unusual happened today. Something very rare. As I have to call lenders/banks etc. all day I'm constantly on hold. No biggie, usually just muzak playing in the back ground.

But one call today was different. Actual music. And not just any music mind you, no, no. Depeche Mode. I've been a Depeche Mode junkie ever since my big bro took me to see them for my very first concert all those years ago. So imagine my delight when instead of muzak after talking (yes talking) to the banks automated system, I get to hear "Never Let Me Down". I almost melted in my chair. And then it got better. Well if you like 80's music it got better. Real music, and to top it off when I spoke to someone, who wasn't from India (another gasp from me) and understood what I said and spoke understandable english, well that just made my day. What can I say, it's the little things that make us happy right? ^_^

Evil Eye



Being too lazy to cook something after getting home from work & class, I decided, "It's pizza time." Which I haven't had pizza in a really long time so I was looking forward to a good pie.

I placed my order etc over the phone. About 30 minutes later "Knock, knock!" Alright it's here. I had a just enough in paper money to pay for the pizza. But not one to never tip my pizza guy, I had about five buck in dollar coins. I pay the man and then give him his tip. The coins fall in his hand. "Clink Clank". He looks puzzled. I tell him they're those new dollar coins. He looks at them funny and looks at me with the evil eye.

It's money!! Darn good money too. It's unusual money but its still five bucks. Sometimes I wonder what the deal is with people and not liking the dollar coins. Oh well. The pizza was excellent anyways.

Air Horn!! Someone gave a bloody monkey an air horn!! I think this to myself as I lie here in bed as some moron outside my window is blowing an air horn. So much for sleep.

Might as well make the most of it and do some blogging. I was getting ready for bed but as soon as I start to doze off. "BLLEEEEEPPP!!!" And this is a street away now.

Nothing exciting happened today. It seems though that everyone in the office is getting sick. My team sounds like some orchestra where the instruments are done by your coughing, sneezing, moaning and sighing. Honestly. I feel fine. But my other office mates are another story. Everytime they get up it's "Uhhhh....ooohhhh" Especially Mr. Dry Toast. Then the clearing of the throat. "BRAaccckkk" Then Pterodactyl lady sneezes, and wheezes. And the other in our room lady coughs, I think she's getting the flu.

"BBLEEEEEP" that bum just blew the horn again. I wonder if I can get him with my bb gun from my window? Nice now he's driving up and down the street with his horn blaring. Very nice a-hole. :( As you can tell I'm not happy. Oh well if you see a news story about someone getting snipped by a b.b., please know that I just need to get some sleep.

My messed up day. I can't believe it's freezing down here. Last year is was already 99 degrees in south Texas today it only got up to 46. Thanks La Nina. I shouldn't complain at least we're not in drought anymore and under water restrictions.

Today was a very bad day. Messed up I should say. It keeps burning through my head. The awful images of the day. I got up late. I knew I should have gotten up at 7:30. I set my alarm clock for 7:30 and kept using the sleep button till 7:50. I got up took an overly long hot shower. It felt so good. It's so cold outside I didn't want to meet the day. The water surrounded me like a hot blanket. After about an hour I finally got out.

Holy Crap!!! I said out load. I'm late!!! I had an early appointment at 9:30. It was 8:50 when I got out of the shower. I'm rushing to get dressed. My glasses are fogged up so I take my special soft cleaning rag to them. They break. Of all the times to break when I'm running late. I can't find the screws. They fall into the overly thick plush carpet.

Damn!! I scream!! I don't have time to search. But I can't use my old glasses either since my eyes have gotten much better and my old prescription is now way too strong. I don't have extra screws in my eye glasses kit. Then it hits me. Take off the screws from your old glasses. I do and I fumble my way through them. I finally put my glasses back together and leave my old pair missing screws and all on my bed. I rush and get dressed. Stupid dentist, of all the times I decide to go. I haven't been in years. I know that's terrible to say but its true. I haven't had any complaints with my teeth and I take ultra good care of them. I just don't like going. But my friend works for one and got me an appointment. She'd do most of the work on me , and I don't have a problem with her sticking things in my mouth. She's not a stranger. But I have to be there on time.

I go out to the garage. My car is covered.

STUPID F*($%#$% CAT!!! The cat threw up on top of the car again. Giant yellow fur balls. I have to clean it all off before I go. The vomit ran down the top and down the windshield. I quickly do these things and it takes forever.

Finally I'm on the road. Upset, more than half asleep, cranky and I can't find anything decent to listen too. Without good morning music I'm useless for the rest of the day. To top it off there is freezing rain pelting the earth. I hydroplane a few times on the regular streets, when I'm trying to go from coming to a complete stop.

I finally make it to the freeway. It's Saturday morning. A little after 9 am. No one's out. A few cars but not much really. There's construction all over the town. The highways have nothing but concrete barricades on all sides. Most people get scarred of this. I'm more than used to it but still I take my time as the road is too wet, and I pray there is no ice on it either.

I finally find a chill out mix to listen too. A CD I have long since forgotten I made. I forgot my satellite at home so there is no 200 + channels to choose from. And I don't like local radio besides the college station. KSYM RULES!! But in the morning they're playing old folk music. Not for me.

I settle into my driving and speed up just a bit to make up time. I come close to the major interchange in town. I slow down a lot as it has a major twist in the road and I don't want to go flying off. I see a police car up ahead in the construction area. From a far it looks like the construction guys are going to shut the freeway like they normally do on weekends. Then I get a little closer.

Two police cars. I figure they might have pulled someone over. I get closer. I see a few police officers standing around drinking coffee in the construction island under the over passes. These over passes are start at about 50 feet up, the tallest is about 100 ft and there's going to be one on top of that too. Then I see it.

The BODY. THE DEAD BODY. Holy SH*T I say out loud. Some guy committed suicide off one of the highest over passes. He jumped and landed in the construction island. The ground was muddy from the rain so he's half sunken in. But you still see it. His head is twisted the wrong way. His limbs were askewen and dislocated. He was bloated lying in a pool of blood and rain. One of the officers is just starting to take pictures of the body. He landed right by the freeway.

This must've just happened as they haven't covered the body up yet. The freeway isn't closed and the traffic keeps me on my same lane close to the body. I get closer and closer. I see the mans face. Mouth partially opened. But his eyes. His dead eyes were opened and looking into traffic. Cracked open head and all. I get closer what I see is too disgusting to tell. I drive past, the officers gathered in a circle drinking coffee and writing in notebooks. One of them taking pictures. The officers have plums of steam coming from their mouths as they talk.

I drive past them to the other side of the construction island. The construction workers are under the overpass. They started a bonfire in a metal trash can and are all around it. They look gray. Literally gray. They must've found the body I think to myself. All I can think of is the man's dead eyes looking into traffic. Looking at me. It bothers me so much it makes me sick. I want to throw up. I hold it in. Behave man!! You've seen and been through worse.

And I have. I held someone close to me in my arms as they took their last breathe. I've seen people dead. I've seen someone shot and killed right next to me. I've seen a hell of a lot worse. So why is this bothering me? And then it hits me as I look in my rear view mirror. The traffic slows down to look. People watch. Everyone just drives past the dead man like so many cats and dogs and squirrels that you see smashed to bit in the road. You feel sorry for the animal but shrug it off. More where those came from. But this...this was a human. Something compelled him to jump. What was he thinking? Why? Did he want attention? Was the weight of the world too much?

I feel sorry for the man it's all I can do. I make it to my appointment without throwing up. It still bothers me at the docs office but I don't tell my friend.

A few hours later I drive back through the freeway. The body's gone but you can still see the pool of blood. The rains washed it about and you could see it. The red splashes of the water as the rain hits it and makes it flow. People drive by not knowing a few hours earlier a dead man was there starring with dead eyes into traffic.

Like so many cats and dogs...like so many cats and dogs...just driving by. Hell of a way to go.

Ah work. I haven't blogged about you in much too long. I need to vent about you work. I love you, truly I do but we've been going through rough times as of late. :P Ok enough of that. I need to vent about work. I love my job, really I do. I have the perfect job doing what I love. Real Estate Legal work. It's an odd job really. There's only a hand full of people that do what I do. I'm actually part of a new business, in fact our office has only been open a little over a year. I work with friends and I get along just fine. Asides from regular stuff that drives people nuts. I work in a room with 4 people. It's just a big office our team is in. We're the elite team, the fixers, there's a legal problem, we fix it. It's what we do best. It used to be just two of us, and when it was everything was just fine. Then we added two other people. Petrodactyl Lady and Mr Dry Toast. I came up with names for them. I call Petrodactyl Lady that because...well she always scream and laughs the way you hear that wretched dinosaur in the movies. It's always SKAWK!!! RAAAKKK!! (Insert Swear Word) SWAKK!! again. Thus is my day with Petrodactyl Lady. She's actually nice but here noises get on my last nerve. It's like working in a zoo. And when she's not swaking, she's mumbling to herself. It sounds like, hmmm...it sounds like...Ok you know those old Popeye cartoons where he's just mumbling and then does his chuckle. It sounds just like that. Only with swear words mixed in. I don't mind swear words but I don't like hearing them with every sentence or mumble. Then on to Mr. Dry Toast. An oddity of a man. The only other man in the office besides myself. He's nice too. But odd. He almost has no sense of humor and his remarks are very sarcastic. Lately more so than ever. He's very quiet and thinks that he does more work than any of us on the team as he always is closing out 10 or so cases a week. Which I have no idea how he does it, and yes he is good but he likes to rub it in your face with off colour remarks and the like.

The office is made up of mostly women, it's a sea of estrogen. It's ok, but there's always a lot of very stupid drama going on. Stupid "She's looking at me funny" type crap. Fortunately we all know each other cause we all used to work at the same back doing the same things we do now. Until the bank shut down and gave 500 + people the boot.

We work on my team now, legal type cases. Fixing clouds in titles etc. on properties. Getting into ....actually taking the fight to the lenders for screw ups they did years ago that's messing up title commitments etc. I like my job, each case is different. Each case has a different legal challenge. It's fun, I like to debate so I like to get into it with banks over the phone.

We're an expanding new business. Growing more and having more customers everyday. But we've got growing pains. No real goals yet. Just survive. Lately we've been getting in on my team a lot of work. Normally people send us what we need. Normally...lately it hasn't been any where near normal. People say we preform magic tricks to get them what they need. But as with all magicians, you need a hat if you expect me to pull a rabbit out of it. And lately our cases can't even provide us with a hat to pull a rabbit out of.

I can't stress enough to people that you need to keep your records of any major financial transaction!!! Honestly you never know when these things will come back and bite you. Which is the case with the majority of our customers. Of course the companies that hire us want all these legal documents the same day. Most of the time, that's not going to happen. How do I put it. Uhm...like....say you buy a house, you pay it off, when you do you're SUPPOSED to get the release/satisfaction back in YOUR NAME, and it should have already been recorded for you by the company at the county releasing your lien. Sometimes that doesn't happen for whatever reason and like most people you don't know you're supposed to get these legal documents. Then say 5 - 10 - 15 - 30 - 50 years later (Yes we do get loans this old) you decide to sell your house. But since you didn't keep your paper work you have no proof that you paid it off. Thus you hire us and we fight with the company you "supposedly" paid off to get your legal documents. But since there is little or no proof its like asking someone "Hey I owed you money once and paid you off, can you give me something to prove it?" At which point the company pretty much laughs in your face and tells you to f-off. But we work our magic and we usually come through.

The worst is when people borrow money from people they know or from an individual. If that relationship turns sour, then its a whole other world of litigation. I get sick just thinking about it. Ick...

That's what I do day in and day out. Since it's a new business I'm there all the time. First one in to open up, I have the keys etc. It's usually a long day, and after fighting with banks over the phone, hearing Ptreodactyl Lady screech and Mr. Dry Toast groan all day, I'm usually at my last nerve by days end. Fortunately Mix Tape Girl calls, emails, etc and cheers me up.

But lately and I take this expression from one of my favorite books High Fidelity, it's been too much. Too much craziness with what people want, that I'm tempted to "Grab my files throw them into the street go work at a Virgin Music Megastore and never come back." But thus far I've been able to hold myself off from doing that.

But today was slow. It was ok. I closed a lot of cases and actually didn't really even work on them. All my requests came in from the previous days and I completed my files. I even over hauled our shredder since it was used so much and none of the ladies understand that it needs oil to keep the blades running. So I spent a good part of the day taking out scraps of burnt paper from between the blades and cleaning it out and oiling the thing up. Oh I also do the maintenance for our office as well, and handle any minor I.T. problems.

It's the weekend now. I took half the week off so it wasn't so bad. But there's still much to do. I'll worry about it Monday. I just needed to vent a little.

Hello, hi, bonjour, etc. I just wanted to make a quick...uhm..update to my bloggie. If you read it the other night when I was explaining things about copying from myspace and pasting on here, you probably noticed that I said there was plenty of typos etc. And well they are, in fact it concerned me too much after I posted that. I re-read what my last post and thought to myself. Dear God Man!! Your grammar is atrocious. Normally when writting at work I'm very thorough with my grammar punctuation etc. In fact I take a red pen to myself. I would definitely given myself an "F" on my last post. Completely missing words, letters, punctuations. I just wanted to say sorry for my lapse in good grammar. Not that you really care. Although truth be told most my (any new) posts will probably look the same as I am typing these up almost at midnight and I'm too tired to re-read everything. I should just do it in word but oh well. So if you by chance do read this, read with knowing it's a bit sloppy, but you can still make out what I'm trying to say. I'll write more tomorrow. I haven't gripped about work in a while and well....I darn well need to. But that's tomorrow. It's late and I probably made a few typos in this thing anyways. Later.

Ah Mix Tape Girl and family. Well I survived the killer pickle so I figured it would be smooth sailing. Yeah right. I joined MTG and family and a few of their friends for dinner again, fortunately at a restaurant this time. A average italian chain place, not starting with olive but not that far either. I actually hadn't been there in a couple of years and it used to be so good.

Well it was...ok. The portion was huge but this time it was really lacking in the flavor dept. But it was ok. We got there and I held the door open for MTG and family. MTG Dad was like, "Thanks". We go inside and they had made a reservation. It was a during the week so it was practically deserted so no waiting. However while standing there for a brief moment in the foyer, MTG Dad turns around and looks at me and (I believe he was kidding, but he looked serious and stern when he said) "There's no room for you at the table, you'll just have to wait." And smirked and turned around and took a few steps away.

I was like. "Ouch" I hope to hell you're kidding. But I just smiled my smile and turned my attention to the bar. I walked up while MTG was talking to the hostess. I signaled the bartender and ordered my drink so it would be read when we sat down. I ordered a bourbon and coke. That's my drink where ever I go that's what I get. As soon as I ordered my drink MTG girl signals me to come with them to sit at a table. They split us up into two groups. MTG family and friends and MTG, MTG sis a couple of friends that we know and myself.

Now I wasn't truly planning on sitting right next to MTG I was hoping to sit across as its easier to hold conversations when you can look without having to turn around etc. We were at a long rectangular table. But for some reason the hostess took away the chair from in front of MTG and the only one left was next to her. She patted the seat as if saying "Sit here". So I did. The hostess took our drink orders. I asked for water as my drink was coming. MTG and MTG sis and ordered Belini's however they're spelled. You know those ultra tall mixed drinks made with champagne and fruit, like a smoothies with alcohol.

A few minutes later the hostess brings us our drinks. I got my glass of water but instead of my bourbon and coke, she gave me a Belini instead. Right away MTG noticed and said you didn't order that and before I could tell the hostess MTG was telling her. The hostess looked at me like and said, "Are you sure you didn't order this? I could've sworn you ordered a Belini." I said no I wanted the bourbon and coke. She apologized and took the drink back. She was very nice about it though. I had to drinks and she charged me for one of each since the drink I didn't order was actually cheaper. So it turned out ok.

So we order our meals and talk while we wait. MTG Dad keeps getting up from his table and walking in circles around ours. And keeps stopping right in front of me where the empty spot was. And he stands there and talks to our other friend who was there. He keeps doing this through out the night. He talks to my friend and then stops and then talks and stops and when he stops he just stares at me. I do mean STARES AT ME. I find this very amusing though for some reason.

At one point he stops to ask what I am drinking. I tell him bourbon and coke. He just freezes and looks at MTG with a really really odd stare. Seriously like, "OMG he drinks liquor instead of beer." MTG Dad is a beer drinker pretty much solely. I figured this out from him right away. MTG gives a evil smile to MTG Dad and says to him after she puts her arm through my arm, "He's a lush just like me." (jokingly of course) This seems to diffuse the situation and MTG Dad leaves us alone for the rest of the night.

Everything else pretty much goes ok. Just small talk etc. And then its time to leave. I tell everyone at my table goodnight. And I go to the table where MTG Dad is at. I stand infront of him and say goodnight. No acknowledgement. I say goodnight again, still same thing. My last drink was pretty strong so I'm thinking "Forget about it, he's too busy talking and you're getting a bit woozie, best go home." Honestly the last drink must had 151 in it or something cause it never hits me like this. The others at the table say goodnight but MTG Dad keeps talking. I walk out the nights over.

The next day I meet MTG later that evening. Dad wanted to know why you didn't tell him goodnight yesterday. I look puzzled. I tell him I did say goodnight/goodbye, twice but he was busy talking that I decided I better not interrupt. But I told MTG, you can give him my apologies for not properly telling him goodbye yesterday. MTG gives me an odd look like, "Uh..ok." and we go on.

"You didn't tell me goodbye!!" I was standing right in front of you and said it twice and you didn't hear or see me waving at you. After a discussion with a friend, I decided to let it go and stop over analyzing things. "He's gotta get used to you." my friend says. I think to myself, "He'lll have to even if he likes it or not." I won't give up, at least not yet. :P

I have several postings I need to do. But first lemme splain a little about my odd stupid posts in my little corner of the universe. Just in case and I do doubt that anyone actually reads these. But if you do you're probably wondering what "C1" is or who. C1 is me my..myspace me. I sometimes copy blogs from myspace to here where I have posts for my close friends who love to get in my business, and vice versa. So when you see C1 that's just me being too lazy to change the name to Artful Dodger. Just in case your wondering. Oh and I know my posts are full of typos but I really don't mind.

C1: Hey what happend to your arm? What's with the bandage?

C1 looking at giant bandage on friend's arm.

C1: No You Didn't??!!! Tiggers gone isn't he?!!

M: Yeah I had to take him off.

M got Tigger on a long ago all night bender from a trip we went on. M had too much to drink and was willing to do anything. Anything being a tatoo. I tried to talk him out of it at the time being somewhat sober, but M wouldn't have it.

(flashback a few years ago)

M: Don't tell me what to do. I can do whatever I want. Bring it on fool!!! (In drunken talk)

C1: No man don't do it. Come on, trust me,

M: Quiet menso. I want a ferocious animal on my arm. Like a dragon or a....(spaces out a few mintues)..or a uh.....leprechan. No no!! A tiger, with fangs and everything.

C1: Mire stupido, don't do it. You'll regret it.

M: Silenco cabron. Take me to the shop.

I reluctantly took M to the tatoo shop, knowing he'd do something dumb. He took forever trying to pick out a muy ferocious tiger, but didn't find any to his liking. Thinking that this would end it and we could go home, I was ready to go. I was wrong.

When he couldn't find what he wanted he drew it on a napkin. And of all things, he drew Tigger, from Winnie the Pooh. The tattoo guy stared at him trying not to laugh at his drunkeness. Even trying to talk him out of it. But to no avail. And thus Tigger was put on his right arm.

The next morning M woke up and to his surprise Tigger was there staring him in the face.

M: What happend? How'd I get this? (Said M extremely hung over)

C1: Uh...you got drunk and wanted to get a tatoo of a ferocious animal. A tiger.

M: What the? You tricked me didn't you??!!

C1: Mire pinche cabron, I tried to talk you out of it.

M got very mad and demand we go back to the tatoo artist. He stormed in.

M: Hey, what's this!!!?? Who put Tigger on my arm??!!

The tattoo guy was still there.

Tattoo Guy: That's what you asked for!

M: No (bleeping) way!! Like hell I did. I would've wanted a real tiger or something.

Tattoo Guy took out the napkin drawing of Tigger he still had on his shelf from the night before and gave it to M, explaining he drew it and asked for it.

M got quiet and pulled his at down on his head almost covering his eyes, and walked out silently holding the napkin and staring at it.

Tattoo Guy and I laughed.

Since then Tigger was always a reminder of going too far. We talked fondly of Tigger, like he was an actual person. Fun times.

(present)

C1: Why'd you take it off man?

M: I got tired of looking at that stupid thing everyday. Reminding me of my one crazy night.

C1: It could have been worse. I said.

M: It's ok, I still have the napkin.

C1: At least that. Poor Tigger. R.I.P

C1: Actually I haven't seen Chicken Little yet. (really I haven't)

Mix Tape Girl (MTG): What?! You'll have to come see it.

MTG Sister: (nudges my side) In case you haven't figured out that's your official invite to our house.

I was at lunch with MTG and MTG Sis

Now MTG and I have been friends for years. But out of some paranoid family thing MTG never really invited me to her house. She has a crazy family, so she says. Except once but I couldn't go. Saturday was my first time ever. Not to say I have never met her family before. (First time I met her dad he gave me the iron claw on my shoulders..but that's another story for another time) So anyways plans were made. Me thinking we were just going to watch movies and hang out. Me thinking...me was wrong.

I go over later that day. Her dad was there. MTG seemed really nervous but happy.

MTG Dad: Would you like a green beer?

C1: Yeah sure.

I figure he's offering me a brew I better take one.

What I didn't know was that her dad was cooking BBQ. MTG didn't tell me to bring anything so I felt kinda bad for just showing up empty handed. MTG didn't tell her dad I was coming either. We were both surprised.

I sat on the couch, and MTG sis gave me the remote to the TV, and said I could change it.

MTG Dad: Sorry they have it on some sappy womans movie (Lifetime Network) You can change it. (Walks into kitchen with MTG and MTG Sis)

I see them all there talking, MTG seems nervous but is busy making fresh chile. I decide that I should change the channel from some awful made for TV movie. I think what's good to put on. I find a western playing on TMC, it looks good, westerns with Robert Mitchum are always good. MTG Dad walks back into living room.

MTG Dad: (with plate in his hand) Hey Robert Mitchum! Thank God someone changed it from that woman's movie.

MTG Dad hands me the plate.

MTG Dad: Hey you like pickles? (and give me plate) If you don't like it just leave it there and I'll eat it. (He walks back to kitchen)

I look at the snack he gave me. Its a pickle COVERED, I MEAN COVERED in CRUSHED RED PEPPER!!! The ultra SPICY kind!!! Now unbeknownst to most people I hate chile. (Bad experience as a child, I swore never again.) I could see MTG Dad glancing at me from the kitchen every so often, while doing whatever he was doing. I put on my best poker face and think, "He's either testing me or trying to kill me." So be it. I quickly ate the pickle, chile and all. I wasn't going to give MTG Dad a reason to doubt me. I quickly drank my beer too washing out the heat.

MTG then walks over with a bowl of chips and salsa and puts it there for me and sits down with me.

MTG: You ok?

C1: Never better.

MTG Sis comes over and puts on chicken little. Well trys to, for some reason the DVD won't play. We end up seeing Elizabeth Town and Hitch. All the while MTG Dad comes in and out from the back yard cooking on the grill. A few friends of her family come over and MTG makes margaritas. Could've used more tequila though. I sit through questions and we eat BBQ. MTG smallest sis mistakes me for someone else and immeditalely jumps on me when MTG Mom and Sis # 2 get home. MTG and family freak out!

MTG: No!! That's not #$#%^&*!! And pulls MTG littlest sis off me.

C1: It's ok, she's just playing.

MTG Mom: I'm sorry.

FYI: MTG littlest sis has downs. But she's a really cute kid.

MTG Little sis starts hopping up and down in the living room and starts removing clothes.

MTG: No!!! We keep our clothes on. (Looks at me) I'm sorry.

C1: Don't worry about it. She's just a kid.

MTG and I finish watching Hitch while the others are busy about the house.

C1: You didn't tell me your where having a BBQ. I should have brought something.

MTG: Don't worry about it.

MTG Dad walks by: Want another beer?

C1: Uh..in a little while.

C1 philosophy: Don't go to another man's house and drink all his beer, especially when dating his daughter. I was trying to play it cool. Fortunately this time it appeared to be working.

MTG Sis # 2, comes in and sits with us drinking a tiny margartia.

MTG Sis # 2: This is going to make me wonga. And starts talking to me.

MTG is looking at me like, please excuse my family.

Not long after we eat. MTG Sis # 2 sitting next to me with MTG on my other side. MTG Sis # 2 starts spacing out.

MTG Sis #2: I can't really handle my liquor.

C1: I see (said jokingly)

MTG Sis # 2 starts looking wonga. Slurring her words. She really can't hold liquor. She only had not even an ounce or margarita. Which in my opinion needed a heck of a lot more tequila. Before I know it MTG Sis # 2's head is on my shoulder asleep. I sit there and smile trying to ignore this fact. MTG is shaking her head. For some reason the convo quickly changes about me and I end up telling some funny family stories about myself. This amuses everyone there.

The night goes on, a little more weirdness insues. (Think of the weird things that happen on My Big Fat Greek Wedding, that was the rest of the night) We end up in the living room again.

MTG: (whispering in ear) I'm so sorry. I'll understand if you want to run out screaming.

C1: It's ok. Believe it or not, this feels pretty good, just like home.

Well not really but it makes MTG feel much better.

It gets late, and I leave.

MTG Mom: Come back whenever you want.

C1: Sure, I definately will.

But next time, don't try to kill me with Atomic Pickles.

Wow. Haven't posted in a while. So I will today. What can I say, my head hurts I've completely followed up with all my cases at work, and I'm trying to figure out some quite difficult real estate legal cases but there's so much stuck in my head nothing is working.

We got yelled at this week on Monday!! By our boss!! Yay, how fun. Well my boss is actually one of my very good friends outside work too, so she warned me in advance before she yelled at everyone. And yes it actually hurt listening to it too, even though it really wasn't directed at me, but to like oh....90% of the others in the office. And for whatever reason, God knows why, I heard this yelling voice of my boss/friend and it really got to me. By meaning that I got super pissed. Like "Hulk MAD!!" smash through the walls rip cars in two pissed, minus the turning green and running around in my underpants.

To top it off the hallway, yeah it's a hallway, our conference room, where we meet is always freezing, and I mean sub-zero. So I was pissed and mad, and freezing. And so after the verbal smack down, I sat at my desk steaming but was so cold that I started feeling quite sick. I mean cold down to the bone, and I could not for anything warm up. So my nose started running, etc. The following day I was feeling really naff, all sick and upset. I turned into my one time dark former self for most of the day. So of course, me and my music had to make my dark mix to listen to repeatedly through out the day. You know those dark evil days when your feel bad physically and mentally. So here was the play list:

1. Angel - Massive Attack : Deep and evil beats, gotta love it.

2. Hey F$% You!! - The Beastie Boys

3. Forty-Six and 2 - Tool

4. Hooker with a Penis - Dark and evil, nothing personal meant here to my friend, its just gets the blood going.

5. And I'm Aching - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

6. So What'cha Want - The Beastie Boys

7. Rush (Spritiual Guidance Mix) - Depeche Mode Not a mean song but the remix is ultra dark and fit my mood.

8. Halo (Live) - Depeche Mode - Somehow this sounds darker live

9. Lethal Industry - DJ Tiesto - No words, just hard harsh beats

10. M.I.A. - Foo Fighters

11. Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters

12. All Alone - Gorillaz

13. Minority - Green Day

14. I'm an Adult Now - The Pursuit of Happiness

15. Reign of Tech2000 - The Beatnuts w/some Japanese Artist

16. Club Foot - Kasabian

17. My Friend of Misery - Metallica

18. Don't Tread on Me - Metallica

19. Anarchy in the U.K. - Sex Pistols

20. New Dawn Fades - New Order feat. Moby - Who'd of thought Moby could sound so punk like he does in this song.

21. Battle Without Honor of Humanity - Tomoyasu Hotei

22. Deuce - The Cardigans

23. Black - Sarah McLachlan

24. Dec 4 - Jay Z

25. Alive - Pearl Jam

26. It's a Dark Day - Rev. Horton Heat

27. Alpha Male - Royksopp

28. Bullet with Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins

29. I Know It's You - The Crystal Method

30. Mindfields - The Prodigy

31. Firestarter - The Prodigy

32. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - The Smiths

33. Prison Sex - Tool

34. Sober - Tool

35. Eruption - Van Halen


Anyways I was enjoying my bout of evilness, and then I get the instant message from my boss/friend.


"We need to talk"


Awww.....Crap. I think to myself.

"Alright but be warned that I'm plenty p.o.'d and feeling really sick right now" I reply. Yes I said that.

"I'm considered warned" the reply came.

This was of course three hours before we were to meet, which was after work when pretty much everyone left, I had to stay over.

But by the time the meeting came I was sick and had no evil left in me, the music took it all away. (Thanks music)

Thankfully it turned out ok. She noticed I was plenty pissed and wanted to tell me that she had no problems with me, it was for almost everyone else. She just wanted to make sure I was ok etc. I told her yeah, she's the boss, she's gotta do what she's gotta do. It all worked out. I even stayed an hour and a half late after work, we were just talking etc, about everything else than work. It actually was nice.

But I was still sick. Like dead sick by the time I left. I felt numb. I drove home. And she called.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I'm sick, I don't feel well"

"Oh no. What's wrong?"

"I dunno, but I feel like crap. I ran a fever and everything"

"Poor baby."

"As if."

"Do you have soup or anything, some meds."

"No I don't think so. I'm just going to get some sleep."

"You need to eat and take something."

"I know but I don't feel like it"

"*sigh* Well stay there I'm coming over to make you something, I'll pick you up some meds from the store."

"Uh....(pause) No it's ok, I'll be fine."

"As if, I'll be over in a bit." (click)

What the? I thought, no she's not really coming over. But she did. She made me chicken soup. From a can but still. And got me some herbal med stuff that suppost to take away your symptoms. All I know is that it tastes like sugar. I went to bed and she was there, she changed the sheets and eveything. I was telling her, "No really it's ok." But she did it anyways. Not that I really minded, it was nice being taken care of. I went to sleep, she was still there, for how long after I dunno, but when I woke up the next morning she wasn't there. But my clothes were washed and folded. And a note with some meds telling me to take them every eight hours. I felt much better when I woke up. Not 100% but enough to still go to work. And work was ok, not the best still but ok.

Everyone is scared to do anything, it's odd. Especially with how lax we are about everything in the office. But oh well, nothing lasts forever.

Speaking of nothing lasts forever, at work on the net I saw, Captain America died. I was like "What?!! No way!!" (Ok I read comics ok, by big bro got me hooked years ago. And I mean I read them I don't collect them.) Anyways, if you do read them you probably know about the whole Civil War debacle that went on in the Marvel books. (Which btw is a really interesting read, no seriously) So anyways, I'd thought I'd leave a little tribute here at the end.

Well I did but blogger keeps telling me it doesnt' accept any of the charaters I type.

Well it happend. My uncle passed away yesterday. So I'm at home waiting for the numerous family members that are on their way from all over to show up at our house. I know I should feel sad, but I don't. He's not suffering with that cancer crap anymore, so he's got peace now. And that makes me feel good. Though everyone else is crying, etc.

Well I'm not all sad too, because I have too many other things on my mind at the moment too.

And yes "she" is back, and we're supposed to "talk" about everything tomorrow, even though we talked on the phone for over an hour last night. We shall see how it turns out. We've kinda gone through this whole thing before, but not on this level. But still I'm anxious and scared and pretty much petrified at the moment. But as always I have my music playing to keep me calm. Speaking of which I decided to make a response CD, just in case, with songs that she'd like. Well if things turn out the way that their heading...yeah...hmmmm... Anyways I'm making a response CD to the one that she gave me before she went out of town. Here's what I got so far. Oh and this is tentative to change at any moment.

Track listing:

1. Protection - Massive Attack

2. Just Like Honey - The Jesus and Mary Chain

3. Tired of Being Alone - Al Green

4. Something Sexy About the Rain - Kenny Chesney

5. Here With Me - Dido (Roll's Chilling With the Family Mix)

6. Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae

7. Live With Me - Massive Attack

8. Diary - Alicia Keys

9. Miracle - Olive

10. You're Not Alone - Olive

11. If I Fell - The Beatles

12. I'll Be There - Weekend Players

13. To Have and Not to Hold - Madonna

14. It's Probably Me - Sting

15. Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

16. All I Ask of You - The Phantom of the Opera

Again it's tentative to change. But it seems ok thus far. We shall see.

It would be nice to be at home writting this. But do forgive me if there are typos, this time around. Nope I'm not at home, I was there for a few hours last night and this morning. Instead I'm typing on my way back to Mexico, but only to pic up some meds for my uncle who is dying of cancer. I saw him last night right after I got off the plane. We went over, to his house. My cousins were there and my aunt. He was in bed a bag of bones struggling to breath. He was tripping on morphine and babbling in and out of consciousness. Fortuantely unlike my other uncle that recently passed away from cancer, his insides where not bloated, looking like he was about to burst. (TMI I know) My uncle opened his eyes for a brief moment last night. They are dialated, all black, no life in them. I've seen this look many times before unfortunately. But yet here we are driving to back to Mexico to get some sort of home remedy that might help him, (though he probably won't make it through the weekend).

The old country road were on is extremely bumpy and uneasy. My laptop is bouncing up and down with the truck, and my wireless card is threating to pop off from my mobile. But still...here we go.

Pop has my Beatles mix I made for him on. The his window is open and the music is blaring, but you can hardly hear the music from the noise of the wind and the thud of the tires from the pavement.

Monterrey was fun I sorted out a lot of things there. I must've listened to the CD she gave me about 15 times. Analyzing, scrutinizing. But I think the best part was listening to it with some friends and one of my uncles and cousins.

We talked about the songs, laughed at them, trying to understand them. And I wrote down their thoughts on them. Which I think were pretty good. Or at least they were when we had the CD playing while sitting in the back yard at night looking at the city and stars and kicking back a few.

And yes she called. But its weird at how it happend. Ok I'm in Mexico and there is no signal what so ever for my mobile to pick up from my mobile carrier. But non-the-less I had my mobile on. "NO SIGNAL" it said.

"Mira, you're not going to get a call." said one of my cousins. "You got no signal."

"I know." I said.

Just then, (Ring). Ok actually "Enjoy the Silence" plays on my mobile, but its the same thing.
"What the?" I say.

My cousins and friends look at me, like "How the hell..."

R: "Hey"
C1: "Hey, how are you?"
R: "I'm ok. Just having a little fun."
C1: Don't know what to say so I say, "Awesome"
R: "Yeah.... So are doing ok? What are you up to?"
C1: I explain where I am etc.
R: "You didn't tell me you were going out of town?"
C1: "Last minute holiday."
R: "Oh ok. Well have fun."
C1: "No problems there."
R: "Uhm...I wanted to let you know that I won't be able to call tomorrow. I'm going to be busy, so I'll try to call you Monday."
C1: "Oh ok..well...be careful. And have fun too. (she's on a business trip)"
R: "As if...I'm working."
C1: "You know what I mean."
R: "Silly"
C1: "Well I better go. (my phone signal was fading out fast and it sounded awful)"
R: "Ok, goodnight"
C1: "Goodnight. Oh btw"
R: "Yeah?"
C1: "I love the mix you made me"
R: (giggles) "I hoped you would"
C1: "We'll talk later."
R: "Yeah..."

We say a few more words. I'm act all stupid in front of everyone.

"Aye mi amor. Mi queres mucho." my friend says making kissing noises at me. Everyone laughs.

"Cabron!" I say and give him a smack on the head.

We go out (btw they have great clubs/chillout places in Monterrey) an have fun.
We got home a little early. 2 am, and I sat out on the patio with my uncle, aunt, some cousins and friends, and I play the CD for them. Here's what we come up with.

The playlist on the mix CD is as follows.

1. White Flag - Dido
We all like this one. Good way to start. Nice and warm but kind of vauge. Kind of, not too much.

2. Pictures of You - The Cure
I love this song. She know it. We figure that's why it's here.

3. I'm Wrong About Everything - John Wesley Harding
A little odd but a good song for a couple. I like its slowness. My aunt told my uncle he sold hear this song more often.

4. Turn Me On - Norah Jones
I laugh at this one. It's so...I don't know how to describe it...hot? Maybe. It's pretty straight forward. My friends look at me at this one. Is that a clue?

5. You Don't Know Me (Live) - Ray Charles
Ok, hidding meaning here? We weren't sure but its one of my favorite songs anyways.

6. Here With Me - Dido
This one is obvious. Or so we all thought.

7. Stupid - Sarah McLachlan
Don't know if this is for me or her. But I love Sarah so its good anyways. My aunt liked this one too.

8. Drown In My Own Tears - Ray Charles
Again cryptic, but I think it was supposed to be. Ray mulling over why his significant other is at home yet. Hmmm...this one makes us think.

9. Center of the Sun - Conjure One (Solarstone's Chill Out Mix)
I love this song for obvious reasons. The chill mix is awesome, the third stanza where the boy and girl get together is amazing. Good choice.

10. Most of the Time - Bob Dylan
Great Dylan song. We ponder over this one, but can't come up with a reason other than its a good song.

11. Cold Blooded Old Times - Smog
We laughed. It's kinda scary but in a good way. You'd have to hear it for yourself.

12. These Words (I Love You, I Love You, I Love You) - Natsha Beddingfield
She likes this song I know. That's why its on here.

13. Fallen For You - Sheila Nicholls
Hmmmm....Yeah this is obvious too.

14. Cool - Gwen Stefani
We're not sure if this has a true meaning. I know she loves this song. I figure that's why its there. I shall have to ask when the time comes.

15. I Love You - Sarah McLachlan
Blantantly there for a reason. If this song isn't straight forward enough I don't know what is. It left me numb in a good way. Plus its cool listening to under the stars.

16. In My Life - The Beatles
I love this song, always have, always will.

17. Always See your Face - Love
Melancholy song, but good, we all like it.

18. God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
Wow. My uncle tells stories about the Beach Boys. Awesome song.

19. Glasgow Love Theme - ?
No words just music. Really good music. We all love it.

20. I Believe (When I Fall It Will Be Forever) - Stevie Wonder
This did it for me. For everyone else too. Who can say it better than Stevie? Enough said.

Well I'm going to stop typing. Looking at the screen and typing and the noise and being in a moving vehicle is making me very nauseaous.

Again excuse the typos etc, I don't have the strength to to go back and read what I wrote.

"Cause Life Ain't Nothing But a Good Groove, A Good Mix Tape Will Put You in the Right Mood." - Beastie Boys - Professor Booty




I have a surprise for me today. She made me a mix tape. Well CD but same thing. I made her one for her trip, I didn't expect or care if she had made one for me too. It's just something we do.

Track listing

1. White Flag - Dido
2. Pictures of You - The Cure
3. I'm Wrong About Everything - John Wesley Harding
4. Turn Me On - Norah Jones
5. You Don't Know Me - Ray Charles
6. Here With Me - Dido
7. Stupid - Sarah McLachlan
8. Drown in My Own Tears - Ray Charles
9. Center of the Sun - Conjure One (Solarstone's Chilled Out Remix)
10. Most of the Time - Bob Dylan
11. Cold Blooded Old Times - Smog
12. These Words (I Love You) - Natasha Beddingfield
13. Fallen for You - Sheila Nicholls
14. Cool - Gwen Stefani
15. I Love You - Sarah McLachlan
16. In My Life- The Beatles
17. Always See Your Face - Love
18. God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
19. Glasgow Love Theme
20. I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever) - Stevie Wonder

She called me and asked me if I found it yet. I hadn't noticed it yet, but I found it. Now I have to listen, and analyze. :)

NYC Update:




Just a funny thing that happend last night after going to see The Phantom of the Opera for...the 6th time. (love that show) Anyways some lady came up to me and said I looked like Clark Kent/Superman, from the Alex Ross comics. I was like, "Wow really? Thanks a lot." But I think I might have been beaten out of that title by the crazy guy in Times Square wearing a Superman costume. I just thought it was silly.

On the plane to NYC.




Currently up here. This was a few days ago on the trip up here.

Sitting on the aisle seat can be fun, but not always which was the case on the flight up here. There was an extremly portly bald white man sitting right across from me in the next aisle. And stared at me almost the entire trip. Here's how things went down.
r9: (whispering in french to XX, so creepy man won't understand) "That creepy fat, bald guy won't stop staring at me."
XX: "I know"
r9: "Seriously what's his deal? It's not like glance now and then, his head is turned and he's looking directly at me since we took off."
XX: "Maybe we can move seats or something"
r9: "XX, the flights sold out we're stuck here."
XX: "Dammit"
r9: "Does he think I'm going to blow something up or something? Seriously he's really creepy."
XX: "I dunno. I'd be more concerned about that crazy looking goth kid that's been clutching his backpack since we left. Like you couldn't pry it away from him."
r9: "You're paranoid XX"
XX: "You're the one with a chubby bald stalker"
r9: "Shut up! Ewwww!!! He's probably having his way with me in his mind."
XX: "Oh sh*%! He probably is. Ewww!!"
r9: "Alright this has got to stop. I'm gonna mess with his head."
XX: "Don't get us into trouble"
r9: "Muahahahahaha!!! (evil laugh)"
XX: Shakes head.
Turns to icky man and stares back.
r9: (again in french, hey if I don't practice it I'll lose it. ps: translated) "So...what are you looking at?"
Icky man looks puzzled.
Icky man: (in a very southern accent) "Wha...? I'm sorry I don't understand you."
r9: (again in french) "What the hell are you staring at? You haven't taken you eyes off me for the entire trip. Do you want something? You're really creeping me out."
XX: (giggling butt off)
Icky man panics, sweat as thick as Crisco forms on his head.
Icky man: "I ain't got a clue what your saying."
r9: (speaks in english) "I said what are you staring at. YOU haven't taken your eyes off me since we took off. You're really creeping me out."
Icky man says nothing.
r9: "Do you want something, or have a condition that you have to just stare at something? Give me a clue here."
Icky man starts turning red.
Icky man: "I uh....."
r9: "Well can you do me a favor and stop staring at me. It's really bloody freaky."
At which point other passengers are staring. The stewardess comes up.
Stewardess: "Is everything ok."
XX (holding hand in head) "I don't know you."
r9: "This gentleman here can't seem to take his eyes off me. He's been staring at me the entire trip. It's really creeping me out."
Stewardess: "Oh ok"
Icky man turns bright red. "I haven't been staring at you"
XX: "Yes you have. It's really really weird."
Passanger behind us: "Yeah you have man."
Icky man gets upset.
Stewardess: "Tell you what, there's are two seats at the back that aren't taken. If you want to move you can."
XX and I get up and move.
XX: "Thanks for embarassing me."
r9: "You're quite welcome. Feel better now?"
XX: (giggles) "Not too much."
Stewardess comes by. "Everything ok now?"
r9: "Very much so yes."
XX: "Can I trouble you for a rum and coke?"
Stewardess: "Sure"
XX: "Promise me you won't do this again on the flight back."
r9: "I promise nothing."
XX: Pinches me hard
r9: "Alright. Geez."
Thusly we landing in NYC without any other problems and Icky man long gone.
Have fun in TX while I'm gone all. It's bloody freezing up here.

XX: Why are you so old school?
R9: Cause I want to be.
XX: Yeah, but you. You who went to school to be a network admin, you who can figure out any single gadget there is. You still use a daily planner. You write everything down on paper.
R9: So what's wrong with that? I like paper.
XX: It's just odd that's all.
My friend tells me this as we paruse around the clearance calendar/planner section at Barnes & Noble's. I've always had a planner, since well...since forever.
For my graduation I received lots of gifts. Most of them were stationary, day planners etc. My best friend gave me a one of the first Palm Pilots out there. This was back in 1999 btw.
I fiddled with it. I figured it out without the instructions. But I just didn't like it. So there it sat and still sits, year in and out, collecting dust. I didn't find it helpful to learn how to re-write the alphabet so a palm pc could read my writting, when I could just write it down on paper.
While looking around I stopped to take out my leather day planner and look at it. The cover is nice and soft from how often I've used it. It smells great, from being worn down. I love it. Yet somehow, I feel odd. I have everything at work & home, appointments, meetings, address books, etc, all on my PC.
It would be so much easier to get a Blackberry, Palm Pilot, Pocket PC, and just synch up with it. Outlook, Gmail, Yahoo, all at my finger tips, to use whenever I want. Any and everything available at the push of a button. But one of these little Mini-PC's can't replicate the doodles on a calendar day. Or the little notes scribbled next to some event, at a moments notice. Or the feeling of looking at my address book and seeing the phone number that some girl wrote down so I could call her. They can't leave little messages that I can write down on how to put my life together when an epiphany comes along.
Suddenly I hear someone talking. "So what are you doing?" I'm puzzled. I think "are you talking to me?" This older man is walking towards me talking. "I've told you I can help you. Just tell me when you need the money."
I notice he has an earpiece on him. You know the wireless bluetooth one that makes you look like a Borg from StarTrek. He walks past me. Talking away, oblivious that he's talking loudly. He should be more careful, he's telling his whole financial situation and how much he's got to the world.
I glance around me. More than half the people have phones clipped to their belts. Mini-PC's pinned to them. Most of them are chatting away into space, while the other person on the other end is doing the same probably in some other bookstore somewhere else.
Do I trust my information to one little device? I pull out my phone, from inside my pocket. It's one of those new Samsungs that does just about anything. It's mostly an MP3 player, albeit I never use it or download music to it. I don't use it really but to take a picture here and there or a video, and the occasional phone call. So many features.
CRUNKKKCCCCHHHH!!!!
XX: What the?
R9: What happend?
Mr. Fancy Pants telling his whole financial situation just dropped his Blackberry. It broke in half. He's making a scene, cussing etc.
I spot a nice stationary calendar/day planner refill in the 2007 clearance items. I open my planner and compare the size to make sure it'll fit. It does. It's nice stationary, the printing is nice and raised, very fancy.
XX: (While on phone/Palm PC) Find one old school?
R9: Yep yep. 60% off too. Ready to go?
XX: (Still on phone. Nods yes.)
I pay and me and XX leave the store. On the way out, a young girl passes us and has a newly wrapped pink leather planner in her hands. Her mom just bought it for her.
I smirk, maybe not so old school after all.

My Interview With God

FYI: This is just fiction. Meant solely as humor. Don’t be hating now.

So I’m on break and lunch reading news and what not on the internet. And lately I’ve noticed a lot of articles about God. Or more matter of factly a disbelief in God, namely atheism. Like an article I just read about people posting vids on YouTube, claiming that they don't. With most articles having no voice of their own of the Big Guy in the Sky himself. Like God was unavailable for comment.

So far be it for Conjure One to not see both sides of the story. So with a slew of questions and an open mind, I decided to have a Q & A with the man himself. Here’s how the interview went.

C1: So how are you doing today?

G: Pretty good. It’s been one of those days though. You know, still trying to clean up last years mess. But after a cup of joe and a chocolate biscuit, it’s all good.

C1: Awesome. Do you drink Starbucks?

G: Yeah every so often. But I got me one of those Cuisinart DCC-1200 brewers. Best $70.00 bucks I ever spent. But you can’t go cheap on the beans either. Freshly ground’s the way to go.

C1: Oh yeah I’ve seen those. Very nice. And I agree, fresh is best. Hey I rhymed.

G: Totally. Plus you know, Starbucks everyday…it adds up. Those four and five dollar drinks, added up at the end of the month. I look at my bank card statement and its like “Holy..you know”.

C1: Oh I know, I cut way back. Now it’s just a treat.

G: Yeah I agree. You should see the angel Gabriel in the accounts dept. He showed me the bill one time. I was like, ok guys, we need to cut back.

C1: Yep.

C1: So I’ve been reading a lot lately about people not believing in you, even posting video’s on Youtube and stuff. I don’t know if you’ve seen any of the articles lately.

G: Oh yeah. (smirks) I’ve read them.

C1: Cool. So may I ask, what’s your take on them?

G: Oh yeah sure. Well I’m fine with it. I mean I don’t force people to worship me or anything. That’s why I gave you all free will. If they do I ask that do so from their heart. A lot of people have this idea that I’m some omnipotent being that forces people to do so.

C1: So how do you defend the fact that you don’t force people to do so?

G: Well truthfully a lot of what people do in worship, I’m quite puzzled with. I don’t remember telling people to start Crusades, inquisitions, etc. Some high and mighty men thought everyone should worship just like they do. Again a man made problem.

C1: So you don’t promote forced belief?

G: Oh my no. See this thing here? (holds up the Bible) People read this and are like, “Oh man this guy is all force people to do this and that, etc.” But then again most people who have these opinions don’t read it. Then again most people who go to church have never read it either. People believe what other people have told them to believe, like from Bible scholars then they draw their conclusions from there. Or “organized religion” supposedly teaches them from here. Most of what they say is made up. Or people just read it to find faults. It’s just common sense stuff. Give me a break guys.

C1: Really? How so?

G: Uhm….Ok. Example. The Trinity. This weird belief of three beings, being one. It’s just weird. I think that whole belief started in Babylon or something, and somehow ended up being taught in Christian religion. Look it up in an encyclopedia for yourself, again a whole belief made up by a few men, then believed by billions. I don’t remember telling any of my writers to put down something like that. I’m amazed that half the stuff you guys believe in has nothing to do with me or the Bible.

C1: So you’re saying a lot of what is taught is made up stuff.

G: Exactly

C1: Hmmm…What about people saying you’re the cause of suffering and then asking why?

G: Let me put it this way. Who invented the gun, the atomic bomb, trans fats?

C1: That’d be us.

G: And who said you had to use them against other men?

C1: Us again.

G: You got it.

C1: But people claim to do so in your name…

G: I know that’s the worst part. I mean how would you like to have a war with millions of people wiped out in “your” name. It’s appalling. It’s like guys, “Come on. Am I making you do this?”

C1: I see your point.

G: It’s just upsetting, sometimes you just got to hang you head and sigh.

C1: I think I get you know.

G: There’s a lot more to it, but that’s the basic thing in a nut shell.

C1: So how about some fun Q&A.

G: Sure. I know what you have planned, this should be good.

C1: Hey, no reading my mind.

G: LOL My bad. Shoot.

C1: Ok, boxers of briefs? The world’s gotta know.

G: Boxer-briefs. The best of both worlds. I gotta say if you all spent more time making inventions like these, the world would be a better place.

C1: LOL. Uhm….ok. Favorite song?

G: It sounds weird, but R.E.M.’s: “It’s The End of the Worlds As We Know It” We jam out to that in the Celestial Chariot.

C1: Awesome. I know all the words to that song.

G: LOL. That’s a talent. When Jesus and I are driving around, we can just do the chorus. We look like Chris Farley and David Spade in Tommy Boy, when the main lyrics come on.

C1: Too funny.

C1: Ok, favorite sentimental song?

G: Wreck of the Edmonds Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot.

C1: Oh really? My dad loves that song.

G: Yeah I know. lol The guys roll their eyes when I crank it up.

C1: So what’s your favorite book of the Bible.

G: I answered this once. But it’s still the same. 2 Samuel. It’s a Godfather Part 2 kinda thing.

C1: How do you view prayer?

G: It’s a great way to talk. But I gotta say, there’s a fine line between prayer and whining.

C1: LOL

C1: When are the Red Sox going to win another Series? I’m a big fan.

G: Ohhh….uhm…let me get back to you on that one?

C1: Favorite drink?

G: With or without alcohol?

C1: With

G: A mojito.

C1: I love those. I went on this cruise once and they had a mojito bar. That was awesome.

G: I’ve been meaning to go on one of those.

C1: You should, good buffets too. Just make sure you wash your hands, lots of people don’t. Then you end up sick like they have recently on those ships.

G: Yeah I think personal hygiene was a one of those common sense commands I had them write in the Bible somewhere.

C1: Oh yeah, I forgot were at though.

G: Eh…somewhere in the front.

C1: Oh yeah.

C1: Favorite movie?

G: Lost in Translation. I love Bill Murray. Best actor ever. I might have to smite the Academy if they don’t give him an Oscar soon.

C1: LOL. I agree. That Scarlett Johansen wasn’t bad either (growls)

G: LOL Down boy. Down

C1: LOL

C1: Well my times almost up. Any other words of advice?

G: If you have something important to say, always say “BEHOLD” in a loud booming voice, and you’ll get everyone’s attention.

C1: Thanks for the advice.

G: No prob. Take care now.

C1: I will.