Thursday, August 30, 2007

St Elsewhere

Today was just weird. I mean weird. Okay, have you ever had one of those days where things just happen that you had no idea to expect? Well today was one of those days.

Now I didn't get up early to leave for work. But it took me forever to get ready. I left a little later than I would have liked. However I had a minor set back when I went into the garage and found that the cat had thrown up fur balls all over the top of my car, which then the fur ball juice proceeded to slide down my front windsheild. So I had to clean that up before I went too. I didn't leave ridiculously late, but it was later than I should have since I now have to fight the school time traffic. But no biggie.

I take off, I have my music jamming. I'm not half asleep or anything but I'm not really all in it either. I'm following behind a small mini-van off the exit to get onto the turn around for the highway I need to get on. Now just before the highway entrance there is a road that intersects, but the people don't have the right of way. Well apparently to this one person this morning, he did. Too bad for him his speed demon ways didn't work in his favor. So I'm behind this mini-van, and there's barely a cars length ahead when this idiot in a giant pickup decides to floor it to get into the lane to get on the other ramp to the highway going the opposite direction. I dunno what this guy was thinking cause there was no room for him. So he tried to get in the lane, over shot his speed and steering flew off the road and into the mud filled grass median and got stuck to where there was no coming out without a tow truck and a wench. Stupid person he could've gotten us killed. He got just what he deserved by getting stuck in the mud. So that was the beginning of the days adventure.

Work time throw downs.....
So it's not quite lunch yet but it's getting there. And we hear commotion. And I see my boss come in. (Now she's always off on Thurs, so when she's in there's a problem.) Then I hear a thud. Then I hear a baby crying. Yes a baby. Where on earth did that baby come from? Apparently one of the ladies there couldn't find a babysitter, so she brought her baby with her into work. Now really I don't mind the baby at all. But what happened next was crazy. Now my bosses office is right next to my teams, so we can hear the all the chisme even when we don't wanna. And the explicitives where flying (by the lady who brought her kid in). Long story short, the boss said, you need to have someone take care of your child elsewhere. (Now I should note that this is really hypocritical cause our other office {it's actually in another state} the office manager has taken his kids to work when he couldn't find a sitter. Thus the hypocracy of the whole thing.) So I was actually siding with the lady who brought her kid in.
Then all hell really broke loose. She got fired. Fired on the spot, with her kid with her. (Now another note, this lady has used up more time off than anyone else and didn't have any to spare. In fact just about no one else in the office has either. Except me I've budgeted my time. Of course I don't have emergencies involving children either. But general rule of thumbs is you don't have time off, you don't take time off. Circumstances pending.) So she stormed out of my bosses office, her little girl in her arms, cursing the sky away. Now I happened to be working on a case where I was on the phone with the office of the Secretary of Veteran's Affairs. No sooner had I dialed the number and fired lady was walking by our office than Pterodactyl Lady said something really stupid to the other lady.

The receptionist for the Sec of VA affairs picks up and at that moment this happens.

Receptionist (R): Hello, how can I help you?

Me: Me I need...(interruption)

Fired Lady: (Barges into the room screaming at Pterodactyl Lady) Bitch!! You got something to say, say it to my face!!! You (I won't say but you can guess)

Pterodactyl Lady: (is just speechless and can't say anything)

Fired Lady: (More explicitives)

Pterodactyl Lady: Hey there's no need for that, I was just saying.

Fired Lady: (puts baby down and gives Pterodactyl Lady a mean right hook)

And then all hell breaks loose.

Me: Uhm....I'm sorry, I'll have to call you back.

Yeah a cat fight breaks out right next to me while I'm on the phone to the Dept of VA Affairs. Needless to say there's going to be hell to be paid tomorrow. Of course Fired Lady won't be there but still. The rest of the day was just messed up beyond belief, everyone was in shock. We'll see what Pandora's box this whole mess brings up tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

OMG That's The Funk SH*T

Now I must say that there are only a few things in my entire life that have terrified me to where I was absolutely petrified. I am going to show you one of them right now. It's not what you think, no, no. In fact probably a good majority of people remember this and probably loved it. Not me!! No way no chance in hell. Do you remember "Showbiz Pizza" n/k/a Chucky Cheese? If you do you probably remember "The Rock-AFire Explosion". The animatronic band consisting of a freaky looking bear, and his psychotic friends.

I remember a long time ago when my parents took me and my brother to this place. At first all was ok. We ordered pizza. For little me, all I could think of was "Yay Pizza." We sat down and I noticed the stage in front of us. No biggie. Then the lights dimmed....and the music started. And the scarriest looking F'ing creature emerged from behind a curtain singing a song. A gigantic bear with soulless blue eyes, and a rubber face. Then a gorilla, then a gigantic mouse, and another bear, and a dog, and a freaky wolf, and a funky puppet. I couldn't stop screaming. I tried and tried to run out of the building but my parents held me there in my seat, telling me it's ok. All I remember screaming at the top of my little lungs is "NO IT'S SATAN's SPAWN!!!" Needless to say my parents and brother ate really fast and got me out of there before I had a complete psychotic breakdown. To this day those freaking machines with soulless faces, and hydraulic noise still terrify me out unbelievably.

Then I found something today while at lunch and reading on CNET. Someone actually bought an entire set of "The Rock-AFire Explosion" band and set it up at his house and reprogrammed the machines to play modern tunes. He posted the video's on Youtube. So if you are scarred then please don't watch the movies. I forced myself to watch them. Fortunately the music more than made up for the utter dementedness of the animated machines. I will surely have nightmares about this tonight. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I'm strong to the finish, cause I eats me spinach

You know, I realized something today. I'm getting older. Now I don't mean that cause I turned 26 a few weeks back. But I mean I'm getting older in my tastes. And it's the little things that I find that I used to like but I don't anymore. For instance, I went to a friends house after work today to drop off some stuff. His son was there and he had just bought a pickle from the ice cream man. No biggie.

Now I used to love eating whole pickles covered with chile when I was a kid. But now...Bleech!! I almost couldn't stand the over powering smell of the vinegar the pickle came in. I was practically gagging every time I caught a wiff of the pickle. How on earth did I eat this crap when I was so young? Dear lord boy, through that away and eat something else.

I find that now I eat things that a few years ago I didn't like. Like spinach. I love spinach now, though it has to be fresh. From the can I can do without. But I used to hate it, oh how I hated it. Now I love cooking it. Or just eating it raw in salads. Broccoli too. I find that my tastes are changing so much.

Are my tastes getting better with age? I'm not a huge beer drinker anymore, though I used to be. Now I prefer a good wine with dinner, or a nice stiff glass of bourbon or whiskey or something MTG mixes up. My palate is changing.

I found that this comes true as well in my musical choices. Now do forgive me but now days I can't find much delight in most of these new bands that come out. I mean there's plenty that I do like, but I suppose I mean music from the crap they play on the top 20. Like that song, "Hey There Delilah" by some...ahem.."rock band". Now I know that we had rock bands do things like that whilst growing up, but now I can't stand crap like that. Fall Out Boy, pretty much any hip-hop artist currently out there. I hear this song and I can't help think this group is going the way of Extreme when the did "More Than Words." And I can't get this whole, "EMO" thing kids are into now days too. What you dress goth/punk but you're emotional or something? I see these kids and think about the line in High Fidelity, where Rob see himself as an impostor "like one of those people who shaves their head one day, and then tells everyone that they've always been punk." There's no class, no originality on the main stream music scene.

I hear this music and I just have to switch off and find something else on the satellite or pop in a CD in the car on the ride home. I giggle to myself cause when these songs I can't stand come on, I sound like my dad when he used to hear our music. "Trash, Trash, all of it trash." he used to say. Me thinks I'm getting better tastes with age, or at least that what I tell myself.

Monday, August 27, 2007

This is why I don't do downtown much anymore.

Downtown. To be quite honest we don't have much of a downtown. Oh sure we have what people call the world famous river walk. Or mud lane as I call it. But all in all it's not that bad. But downtown here if more for tourists than anything else. The nice parts are all neoned signed and do you put it...Mexicaned out. Honestly, you don't even see things in Mexico like the decorations that they have at some places.

Regardless last night was actually a very good night to go downtown. The moon was full and bright, a friend of mine that lives downtown asked MTG and myself over for dinner, along with some other friends. The evening was ok, although MTG and myself and my friend did most of the talking. Now usually I'm reserved and quiet. But my friend had invited some new people over and there were way too many moments of awkward silence. But finally we managed to get everyone talking.

My friend made this weird tea like drink for us. She boiled some sort of flower(s) that "Jicamia" or something like that. It looked like hibiscus flowers but it wasn't. Now it looked dark red like wine, it smelled like wine, but brother it wasn't wine. I took one sip and my lips puckered shut, it was so sour. My friend didn't put any sugar in it cause she drinks it straight. She is crazy. Needless to say I sugared my drink up like you wouldn't believe. After I did it tasted like rose flavored Kool-Aid. Needless to say I swallowed it quickly and then hit the lemonade. But the dinner was amazing. My friend makes everything from scratch. OMG!!! It was so good. I had to do double my run today cause I ate so much last night.

MTG and myself decided to take a stroll under the bridges of the river walk as my friend lives in a condo on it. It was too beatiful a night to waste. So we walked hand in hand under the moon light.

MTG: It's been years since I've been down here.

Me: Me too. I think it was like 3 years ago for me. And that was just to pick something up.

MTG: Ok so if you had to loose your hearing, speech, or touch or smell, which one would you use.

Me: Where'd that come from?

MTG: It's just something I read in a magazine.

Me: What is this a Cosmo thing?

MTG: No. Now answer the question.

Me: *sigh* I guess speech.

MTG: How would you communicate with people. Like me, how would you tell me something?

Me: I dunno pantomime?

MTG: Really?

Me: I could carry a pen and pencil and notepad with me all the time I guess.

MTG: But would that be practical.

Me: I dunno, maybe.

MTG: Okay, so if you lost your ability to speak right now, how would you convey your thoughts to me?

Me: I'd use Jedi Mind tricks. Or use the force to convey what I need to do.

MTG: (gives odd stare)

Me: Maybe not, you don't have a weak mind for Jedi mind tricks to work.

MTG: Well then?

Me: Look if I lost the ability to talk right now, I'd.........(freeze frame)

I should have mentioned that we were walking under a bridge where above there was a rather rowdy group of revelers, that had one to many margaritas. And they were sitting on the edge of the bridge, whilst we passed underneath it. Lets just say they were having fun throwing stuff over the bridge.

(back to real time)


Something hit us. Ewwww......What the hell is this stuff? I felt something warm and icky sliding down my face and I pulled MTG back under the bridge. I couldn't open my mouth. I was afraid to get whatever it was that hit us in my mouth, thinking it was a foul nasty substance. MTG just looked at me confused about what was happening.

And there I was not able to talk. What are the odds.

MTG: Are you ok? (Me taking the brunt of what hit us)

Me: (unable to talk I'm hopping up and down making monkey noises)

MTG: Hang on, and she bent over and dipped her hand in the icky river water to wash some stuff off my face.

Me: (trying to talk with my mouth shut but only managing).....MMM...nnnnn...nouuwey

MTG just stood there both of us looking at each other. Then I noticed, hey these are eggs. Those bastards. But still afraid to open my mouth thinking I would get salmonella poisoning.

After a minute more of shock I grabbed MTG and rushed back to my friends place.

Friend: What happend?

MTG: Egging

I just rushed to the bathroom and finally washed my face, MTG followed suit.

Friend: Are you all ok?

MTG and myself sitting on her couch semi-wet finding bits of eggshell on us. I couldn't help it. I just started to laugh. MTG followed. We all just laughed.

Me: I guess I failed your test.

MTG: No, I understood your monkey noises.

Me: Really?

MTG: Yeah it was cute. Oh and thanks for stepping in front of me and getting the brunt of it.

Me: No biggie. (Although I didn't see it coming. But I must say I dunno if I would have if I did. :P But I'll take the compliment)

Me: I think I've had my downtown in take for a while.

MTG: Me too.

Friend: I'm sorry this happened to you.

Me: Not your fault. (Looking at MTG) Ya know this is the second time in so many weeks that something has happened when I'm with you.

MTG: I know, creepy huh? You going to run away from me screaming?

Me: Nah, I just better make sure my insurance is up to date.

MTG punched me in the arm.

Friday, August 24, 2007

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I must say the use of the French Horn on "You Can't Always Get What You Want", is rocks best (albeit only use) of that instrument.

That being said, here is this weeks update. First off if you've noticed I've haven't been posting as much lately. This is due to the fact that I usually posted at work, during lunch and breaks. Well I kinda felt uncomfortable doing it as of late there. The reason is I am no longer connected directly to the internet from my computer. I had to setup a server domain at work for the I.T. guys to make a network from our office (located in another state) to control. Now they didn't say it, but I also know that they are data tracking what we do. No really to see what we are doing but for other reasons. Anyways long story short I don't want to use my work PC for anything other than work really. Also too one of my bosses wants to know about our blog/Myspace/Facebook/Bebo accounts etc so he can share them with our clients and each other in the company.

To this I say "Nay, Nay!!" Look I understand you want our customers to see the kind of people that are doing their (insane real estate legal) requests for them. Fine, but I'm not sharing my personal info with them either. Oh and before you go (Mr. Boss Man) and post my picture on your Facebook page, please ask me for permission first. There is a reason I don't share my info with you, it's cause I don't wanna. The last thing I need is for my boss to be leaving me comments on my Myspace page (which I really have throughly neglected as of late). I use that to forget about you, I use that to get update for band and DJ's I like. Last thing I need is to see your bright and shining face on my friends list. If we were friends in real life then..maybe...but other wise I say "NO".

So to the e-mail asking for this info, I politely replied...."NO CHANCE IN HELL." No really I did. I think he got my point. But now they want to do an internal social site thing where each of us has like a Myspace page on our intranet. And guess who they want to help design this? Yup, tis me. But we shall see.

Other than that nothing much has been going on, oh faithful readers. Yes the most exciting thing I did all week was continue going running after work, and I sewed a new hem on a pair of slacks that I owned. Much to Mix Tape Girl's surprise. She didn't know I could sew. I told her the ever so comfy pillows on the couch she likes to lay on, I sewed them too. And I did. Oh I also downloaded more music from eMusic etc, but nothing really fantastic. Just some songs that I've never owned and decided to finally buy.

I do mean to post at night but I get busy reading ya'lls (there's that word again) posts that by the time I want to write something, it's ultra late and I can't keep my eyes opened. I'm doing good just to leave comments. But I will try to post more when I get home, some interesting things happen, but it's nothing fantastic.

It's late now, good night.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Weekend Wrap-Up, Bad Karma and FM Transmitters

MTG: You're not tired of me yet?

Me: Never. I've gotten quite accustomed to you. (I say while looking her straight in her eyes)

MTG: Thank you (She whispers to me and smiles)

MTG's had a tough past week. Crazy really. So first chance I had I took her out.

MTG's Friend: So we'll see you at the zoo tomorrow?

Me: Ya I guess so. You going? (I ask MTG)

MTG: No I'm sorry I have some stuff I have to do. You guys go instead.

MTG's Friend: I don't know either, they're going at 1 pm and it'll be so hot.

Me: I hadn't even thought of that. Now I might change my mind.

MTG closes her eyes and lean on my shoulder.

Me: I better close out the tab and take you home. Are you all ready too?

Everyone else about 7 other friends. "Yep"

I wave down our extremely nice waitress and ask for the ticket. I inform her that the bartender kept my bank card when we were waiting for our table there. She said she'd get it. (I actually had a gift card given to me for my b-day, so I decided to use it for dinner for MTG and myself, and bought everyone a couple of rounds of drinks too. This is one of those swanky expensive restaurants on the way north side of town. Not a place I'd frequent normally. I might have to go back, the bartender serves a mean Jack and Coke.)

Waitress: I'm sorry sir (she says coming back from the bar) you'll have to close out your tab at the bar first.

Me: No problem. (I go and pay off the tab for everyone's drinks.)

V & X(some married friends of ours): You paid for our drinks? Oh no, we already paid for ours when we left the bar.

Me: I told you I was buying.

V&X: Oh we weren't sure.

Me: Ok lemme go back and get credited back on my gift card.

I go back and wait for the manager to sort it all out and get credit back on my gift card.

I finally go back and pay for the dinner for MTG and myself with the gift card.

Me: Oh shoot. I don't have change for a tip. All I have is my bank card.

MTG: I got it.

Me: But I really feel bad about not leaving a tip too. Our waitress was so good.

MTG: It's ok

Me: I know but that's bad karma.

MTG Friend: It's ok we're all pitching in more than enough.

Me: I'd feel better if I chipped in too.

(The only reason I didn't have cash on hand is the bank messed up my new bank card. I had to get it re-done as they screwed up the billing address on the card, so some places I could use it and others I couldn't. I got it fixed so I can use it everywhere now. But they forgot to active the option to use it at ATM's too. So I can only use it to purchase and not withdrawal. Which I had to get fixed today so I have to wait for another new card, in about 2 weeks.)

All: It's ok.

I'm still thinking it's bad karma for me not to leave anything.

We leave and we head to the car. I get MTG in first, (she's half asleep). Going around the corner towards the drivers door, I didn't notice that I parked close to a tree with a small pointy metal fence around it. I had to maneuver into the car. I thought I had it. Wrong. I got my pocket caught on the top of the pointy metal fence. RIPPPP!!!

Me: Dammit!!! I knew I'd get bad karma. (I just ripped my favorite pair of slacks, they tore right down the pocket. My undies where showing.)

MTG: (Looking and laughing) It's ok, just get in the car before someone sees you.

Grrrrr....Thus ended a long Friday night.


As I mentioned in one of my previous posts I bought an in car adapter to create a line in on my factory radio that doesn't have one. You just plug it into the antenna and it creates the line in.

Anyways I put it in. I painstakingly took off the entire center part of the dash. In order to get to the stereo on my car you have to take off almost the entire dash board. I get it off, unscrew the radio and connect the line in.

I put it back, its very simple but a long process. Awesome I know have a line in. So I thought. I connect my satellite to the line in. Nothing. WTF???!! I try all the things I could think of to work. Finally I look at the package. All it has is a website for the instructions. I go inside and look up the instructions.

What a minute!!!! I didn't buy a direct line in!!! I bought the line in connector for a stupid FM transmitter for another system that costs over $100 bucks!!! The dumb package!!! All it says is direct line in connection for all radios. It didn't say you had to buy the FM transmitter and selection fob to make it work. CURSES FOILED AGAIN!!!! My satellite already has a built in FM transmitter. I wanted a direct connect so I wouldn't have to worry about FM transmitting. (Sadly we have a radio station on every single channel in town. So I always get bleed over from the stations to the satellite when its on. It's so annoying.)

Having taken forever to put it on I didn't want to deal with it. So in my dash it sits, useless and annoying. I guess the order for this coming weekend is to take it out and return it.

In other news I'm getting ready for my latest trip again. (Yes another trip, I know I just went on one. I told you I was a gypsy) I just bought tickets to California, to visit some friends. MTG is going to be able to go too. I can't wait.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Meat Meat Meat!!!

Dear God! I'm so hungry. I've brought plenty to eat for lunch. The spring spinach salad mix I have it ok. But it''s blah.. I brought some flank steak I cooked the other day. But for some odd reason, I don't want it. The meat, the meat, I don't want meat!! Why?!! I've never turned down meat before. But today, today the meat tastes so icky. I don't like the taste. There's nothing wrong with it, it tastes fine, it's not bad. But I don't want meat. Yet I'm hungry. Grrrrr.....What to eat? There's a mound of meat in front of me that my fellow workers are picking on since I don't want it. *sigh* I can't go anywhere cause its pouring from that dumb tropical depression that hit TX. Why meat, why do I hate you so today?

Hungrly yours,

Artful Dodger

Full Albums

Having recently bought Yoshimi Vs the Pink Robots by the Flaming Lips, I noticed that I did something that I seem to rarely do now days. I listened to the whole album straight through. No skipping songs, no lemme just listen to my favorite song and that's that. No, I listened to the whole thing from beginning to end.

Now that I think of this I rarely ever do this anymore. I mean I listen to music constantly throughout the day. But it's not a whole album. No I let the Ipod or satellite or mp3 player decided randomly what I listen to. I listen to my vast amounts of mix CD's with all numbers of artists on them. But I rarely listen to a whole album anymore.

So my dear readers. (Like all three of you :-P) Take a look at your music player. When's the last time you set it to play a specific album, instead of letting it pick music randomly? How often do you listen to an album from start to finish? How soon will you need to hear your favorite song now? My inquiring mind wants to know.

FM Transmitters, Late Night Driving, & the Flaming Lips

I was actually on my own this past weekend as MTG was out of town visiting family. So seeing as I had nothing to do I drove around town for a while. I really wanted to see the Bourne Ultimatum, but eveyone I called already had plans or didn't want to. The bums. :-P This is my last Saturday night story.

So I proceeded to make a mix CD, full of happy stuff to dance about to. It took forever as I had to copy some music onto my PC. After about 2 hours I finally made a playlist and proceeded to burn the disk. I just had to hear the B-52's Roam on my car stereo. (Again thanks so much Beth, you're the bestest.) Having finished burning the CD (and foolishly not checking it) I took off to roam about in the car. I didn't put the disk in right away as I was fidgeting with my satellite in the car. Finally "after" I left home I put in the disk. The music sounded good, ahhh..the B-52's. The song started then "Pop!!"....okay...."Crackle!!!""".....the CD started skipping. What the hell??!! I tried the next song, it got stuck moving to the next track. Next track same thing. Then the dreaded "ERROR" message appeared on the stereo display. I took the CD out and put it in imagining it was just sitting wrong. No such luck. Dammit!!!

Seeing as I was robbed of my music bliss I was fumming. I threw the CD out in the trash while I stopped to fill up with petrol. Stupid PC ruined all my work. Now I actually had my mp3 player with me in my pocket. I copied the playlist to it also while burning the CD. (I think doing 2 intesive music things at the same time is what ruined the CD) Now I know what you're thinking. Why not just plug the mp3 player into the stereo. I would love to do that. But my car (factory) stereo doesn't have an auxilary input, its CD only and not even a tape drive. Double damn!!

Now I know I can buy a ultra nice new car stereo system. But the fact is the factory one is wonderful. Plus I can control the sound, track, radio, everything on the steering wheel. "ON THE STEERING WHEEL"! I don't even have to look at the thing. And it sounds wonderful too. I've got a six speaker and sub-woofer I installed myself going. It sounds awesome. If I swap out the stereo I loose the control on the steering wheel. (It should be noted that I can buy an after market harness that will enable certain new radios to be controlled by the steering wheel, though not to full functionality I would like) And really the factory one looks so much nicer than the ones for sale at the store. I don't need multicolour screen displays, removable faces, bluetooth tech....well...maybe bluetooth, screen saver, etc, stuff.

So I drove not being able to listen the the beloved "Roam" track I so deperately wanted to hear. Then I got an idea by looking at my satellite receiver. It transmits via FM. Hmmmm...wait Byron (a compadre of mine) had his Ipod hooked up to an FM transmitter, last time we drove to Austin. It was sounded......ok...maybe they have it at the store. So to Best Buy I went.

Looking around I found one. The price said $8.99!!! Oh how wonderful their cheap too!!! I quickly grabbed it as it was the last one there. I perused around the car stereo section looking at all the direct input receivers, and auxilarly hookups you can also do. Though not wanting to tear my dashboard open I opted for the transmitter. (Admittedly the direct connect would give superior sound to the transmitter but oh well.) So I picked up some batteries as the receiver required them and went to the register. I was thinking "Ya!! I'm gonna listen to my mp3's for only about $15 bucks all together." The child (yes I say CHILD, I think I'm at an age where I can say that now), the child working the register rang it up.

Child: "That'll be $31.87

Not thinking I'm taking out my bank card and getting ready to slide it through the kiosk when it hits me.

Me: $31.87!!! The sign said $8.99

Child: Oh yeah...someone else had brought one of these up here too, and told me the same thing. I forgot about it. (He said as he pulled the other one out from under the register) I just remembered as I scanned your transmitter.

Me: So instead of doing something about it and questioning the price too, you were just going to let me pay whatever rang up?

Child: (Stuttering) Well...uh...hang on, lemme get someone back there that can check.

We waiting, me standing there. Him flirting with his fellow gal pal register girl as it wasn't busy in the least.

Gal pals phone rang at her register.

Gap Pal: Sir do you want to go back there and show them were you found it.

Me: Okay...

So I went back and found the guy looking for the price. Lets call him Car radio guy (CRG)

CRG: Sir where did you find this? I can't find these anywhere.

Me: Over here, I say pointing to the lable that says $8.99. (The label didn't say anything other than $8.99, but had a barcode on it.)

CRG: Lemme check something.

He left and came back with a scanner and checked the barcode.

CRG: I'm sorry sir, but this is for something else. These shouldn't be here. I can see about knocking off a few bucks from the price but I can't sell you the transmitter for $8.99

Me: Nevermind I think for that price I'll buy a direct connect instead. (Which I did, why pay that much for a tranmitter that gets interference when a direct connect and have 100% quality sound)

CRG: Sorry sir. I don't even know where these came from. We usually strive to have everything in order. Especially since I'm over this area.

Me: No problem. (Ya putz!! I say inside my head)

I pick up the direct connect, it's $29.99. And on my way out I pick up The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi VS the Pink Robots. Which I've always loved but have never bought anything from the Flaming Lips. Which as of Saturday changed.

Long story short after the Best Buy debacle, I somehow ended up at a friends house watching The Hunt for Red October.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

A Few Things According to Mix Tape Girl

Mix Tape Girl wrote down a few things a man should know and stuck them in my work bag for me to find. Here in it's full glory I am sharing with you. Enjoy. Where she gets this stuff, I dunno.

1. If, when asking a lady to spend the night, she says no, accept it and do not try to tip the scales with an offer of breakfast. Any girl who is swayed by the prospect of an omelette is probably not a keeper.

2. Marry the girl you want to make eggs with (and I don't mean that in any sort of weird, euphemistic sense).

3. Rule: We won't tolerate your lies. Exception: "You're the prettiest girl in the room."

4. Despite your fantasies of lingerie, on the first couple of dates we're probably sporting the much maligned "granny panty." This is a time-honored method of self-restraint. The image of you being greeted by our double-wide, elastic-waist, daisy-covered underwear sufficiently motivates us to behave ourselves.

5. Go for the girl who can eat a proper meal. If she's passionate about food, you'll most likely be fortunate in other venues. (<----So says the girl who eats soup 80% of the time)

6. Notice the small things. The rewards are inversely proportional.

7. Hair extensions and wigs are not the same thing. Wigs are for old ladies and drag queens. Extensions are for women who want longer hair. To be safe, never bring it up if you think a woman is wearing either. No good comes of it.

8. Never take credit for something we actually did. Unless that something is farting. We'll never raise our hands there.

9. You say: "I'm intense." We hear: "I'm a psycho."

10. We don't ever want to have an "intense" time at dinner.

11. The fact that you hesitate before using our razor because it's pink and that might make you seem gay is equal parts cute and pathetic.

12. When we say, "I don't feel connected," the only appropriate response is, "I feel it, too. Let's go out for a nice dinner and reconnect." Try it. You will get laid.

13. Not all women love to shop. Regardless, we all hate "Shop-a-holic" novelty gifts -- T-shirts, memo pads, refrigerator magnets -- depicting a crazy-eyed woman engulfed in shopping bags and holding a smoking credit card. (We do, however, get a kick out of refrigerator magnets that say things like HEY, FAT ASS, THE LOVE YOU CRAVE AIN'T IN HERE!)

15. Often men confuse pensiveness with bitchiness, and I find that insulting!

16. Women like a man who can make a mean pie crust. What could be more fetching than a man with butter on his chin and flour on his shoe? More to the point, pie dough is an ornery, unforgiving substance that must be massaged, beseeched, cajoled even, if it is to ever realize itself as a pie. A man who can turn out a good crust is a man who knows the value of patience, hard work, and the tactile joys of the home.

17. More often than not, we use an adjective before your name when we talk to our friends about you, as in Squishy Steve, Flaccid Frank, Freakshow Charlie, or Perfect Paul. Makes you wonder, huh? (Me:Dammit!!!!)

18. Everything sounds better when your mouth is next to our ear and you whisper it. Everything from "Sorry about the smell" to "I'm going to love you forever, m'lady."

19. We're not just pretending to be annoyed when you keep changing the channel.

20. We don't go blind for split seconds at a time. It's an urban myth. When you adjust yourself, we can see you.

21. Many of us prefer a good single-malt Scotch to an apple saketini.

22. Your Christopher Walken impression does nothing for us sexually.

23. Of course we know how to work the TiVo. We're not stupid.

24. We know: You just push the Select button and then the Play button.

25. Yes, that's the Play button. We can read. Oh, no, sorry, that's the Input button. Forget it. This is impossible. You do it.

26. Women don't take forever to pee. It's other chicks who make us wait. We have absolutely no idea what we're doing in there, and we look at one another in the bathroom line like, What the hell? Then, to keep ourselves occupied, we play with one another's boobs.

27. There's nothing less sexy than catching a guy sniffing the butt of his jeans to see if they're clean. (Me:I told her I just wore them to the corner store and back it was less than five minutes! Jeeze, never let me forget that will ya?)

28. Don't bother with the G-spot until you've mastered the A, B, C, D, E, and F-spots.

29. It's not the thought that counts; it's whether or not we can return it and get what we really want.

30. The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up.

Monday, August 06, 2007


Sunday night:
Me: I'm so sorry you had to put up with my family the past five days. Really I'll understand if you want to run away screaming and never return.
MTG: Are you kidding, that trip was funny on sooo many levels. Your family is crazy but in a good crazy kinda way...or something to that effect.
Me: That doesn't help much.
Weds 08/01/07
Upon leaving work I picked up Mix Tape Girl and drive home. Now according to the plans that had been made we were to leave from the airport in San Antonio. MTG, my parents and myself and my cousin that flies the plane that is. However receiving a phone call I'm informed by my father that there is a change of plans. We're going to fly out of a my (I suppose you could say, it is where I was born) home town. Oh how nice we have to drive 2 hours to a little border town. Why? Cause we were taking cargo with us. How nice. We get to the small border town. (It's small but they have a mall and an Indian Casino)
Uncle: Your cousins late so you'll have to stay around till he shows up.
Ok no biggie. I went to see both my grandma's while we wait which was actually nice. They both actually met MTG for the first time. Then back to my uncle's house. Hmmmm....
Uncle: (having drank about a 6 pack already) You guys wanna go do something?
MTG: Sure
Me: What something?
Uncle: Mija (to MTG) I don't think you want to come there's no A/C.
MTG: No I want to come.
Uncle: Ok
Me: Where are we going?
Uncle: You'll see it'll be fun its just for a little while.
So we drove out to the end of town.
Me: Where are we going?
Uncle: Don't worry were here.
Here being a beat up old building. We pull up and there are cars all over the place. And border patrol cars and police cars. We hear loud commotion as we approach the entrance. And there it was in all its glory. A cock fight.
Me: Thinking to self (WTF???!!!!!)

Uncle: Wait here I have to go pick something up.

No this small border town where I'm "originally" (I use the term loosely) from is odd. I don't know anyone but they all know me. (Stemming from my dad being a "civil rights" type activist way back when so everyone knows him) As most of them called me by name as I stood there with MTG in shock. One...ahem..."officer" gave me $10 bucks from his winnings as he was leaving as a Bday gift.

Uncle: Ok we can go now I just needed to pick something up. (Him holding a large box)

We left and headed back to his house. MTG looking a bit more shocked then I would've liked. I whispered, "I'm sorry" and she just nodded.

Later that night around 10 pm my cousin called and informed us that he's ready to go. We drove to the small local airport and went to the plane.

MTG: We don't have to get checked or nothing? Like customs?


Me: (shaking head)

We climb aboard the plane, my parents going first. The got the good seats. Me and MTG sat on a small bench seat towards the back surrounded by boxes of well, just junk in general. The flight went okay all in all. Though I could've sworn I kept hearing the door rattling more than I would've liked. And some boxes fell on MTG and myself in a little turbulance.

After a few hours we reached our destination in Monterey. Another uncle was there to greet us. However he only brought his truck with the single cab. So my parents sat upfront and MTG and myself sat in the back. Which was actually fun especially driving at night.

We got to his house and slept.


I woke from MTG shaking me.

MTG: Get up, I need your help.

Me: (half asleep)Wha?...

MTG: Someone's on the floor outside bedroom door. I think he's dead.

Me: (Still asleep not understanding)

MTG: Come on!! Get up.

Me: Okay okay.

I opened the door and found to my surprise my cousin that flew us lying there.

MTG: Is he dead?

Me: No he's just drunk and passed out.

He moaned as I nugged him with my foot. I dragged him and pulled him up on the couch.

Me: I'm going back to bed. It's still too early. (Being 6 am)

MTG: I think I'll get up.

9 am I finally get up, MTG no where to be found.

Uncle #2: Morning mijo. Sleep alright?

Me: Yeah...where is everyone.

Uncle #2: They went to go get stuff for your fiesta. (Offering me a cigarette)

Me: Oh...Cousin passed out infront of our room last night.

Uncle #2: Oh yeah he went out after we dropped you off. He came back all borracho (drunk). MTG told me she found him this morning on the floor.

After that the rest of the day was decent. I got to chill with my uncle and we drove around town sight seeing when MTG got back.

While back at the house that night before the fiesta a little cousin of mine drew a picture of me. The picture below isn't what I looked like but it's not that far from it either.

I liked that present. The fiesta was something else entirely, but that'll be for the next post.