Saturday, June 28, 2008

Smooth Moves

After a long and arduous day one likes to come home and find sanity. Today was not that day. But it did make me laugh so hard that I took away a days worth of work crap.

I come home and everything is normal. I can smell the laundry being done and AD is obviously upstairs, no doubt folding clothes. And I walk into the bedroom, and to my amazement, AD is there with a puzzled look on his face staring at a bunch of my bras that have been laid out on the bed.

At first I looked shocked. At least he wasn't trying them on or anything.

Me: What on earth are you doing?

AD: I can't figure out how to fold these things. The best I can do is bunch them up and stuff them in your drawer but then they took up too much room so I had to take them out. So then I took out some folded ones to see how you did it but I got lost.

I stared blankly for a minute.

Me: How can you not know how to fold a bra?

AD: I know how to take them off. (Said with a smile and wink)

Me: Uh...no.

I grabbed one, laid it out. Grabbed it by the middle letting it fold in two and then folded it over itself. Easy peasy.

AD: Ohhhhh....

Me: Now clean up the rest.

AD: Please would be nice

Me: Sorry, please.

AD: Want me to wash the one you're wearing?

Me: Smooth move, but not right now.

AD: Curses, foiled again.

Me: No I just said not right now.

AD (Nothing but smiles.)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Waiting and hoping

We've always had pets. Mostly mongrels and strays that adopted us. I currently have a cat and a dog that refuse to live with me. So be it. The cat refuses to have anything to do with me after I moved. I can deal with her. My dog can't come over as there is no place for her to go as she's an outside dog and all I have is a concrete courtyard the length of the condo.

I still pay for their food and bills. They're more my parents pets now them mine. My current dog is more my dad's then anything else. After our last dog died, (a shetland sheepdog) I knew I had to get another for my dad. My dad being retired not from old age but forced by polio spends most of his days alone while mom is at work. The animals keep him company. He complains to them and pampers them. They give him something to do. Thus is why I bought my current dog, a black lab golden retriever mix. She was a bundle of energy and basically chewed up the entire back yard. And as much as dad complained, he loved having her.

I fell bad as I was not a kid anymore when I got her so I didn't play with her as much as I probabaly should have. Though she did sleep with me at first, until she liked the way my fingers tasted and then I promptly kicker her out. But she is loved none the less. For a lab mix she's really skinny. In fact boney. I didn't think this was a problem until today.

Lately she's been getting up seeming a little stiff. Her hind legs off center, but seems to bounce back after a few good stretches. But not today. Today dad calls me.

Dad: You better come look at your dog.

Me: Be there after work.

When I get there she's smiling her dog smile happy to see me. She's moving slow. Her back legs wobbly and out of place. I think she's got that hip problem most dogs of her kind get. I feel sorry for her as she's barely 6 years old. I try messaging her back muscles to see if it helps, but nothing. She's still getting about though.

I tell my dad I'll take her to the vet tomorrow.

Dad: If they have to do surgery, don't do it. Pills okay, but no surgery. If it comes to it put her down. She'll only suffer any other way.

My dad is never really one for sympathy. This is as sympathetic as he gets.

Me: We'll see.

I go ahead and give the dog a bath while I'm there. Dad playing with her as she tries to bite the water from the sprinkler. Our last dog died of cancer, but after all he was 16 years old and grew up with me and my brother, he had a good long life. This dog on the other hand as energetic as she is didn't have much in the way of kids to play with. She grew up with...well grown ups. To be fair she's the kind of dog that didn't want to learn and I didn't want to teach her. She know how to sit though, that's about it. Not to say some friends of the family don't come over often and the kids always play with her. But it's not the same.

I didn't cry when our old dog died. Why I dunno. I think I was more happy that he did since he looked miserable for the last year or so. But as I dried this dog off with a towel, she looks into my eyes. She looks happy but confused as to what's going on. She's far too young to be having the pains and problems of an old dog. I start to cry and she licks me. I brush her off and help her inside where she spends the nights in the garage. Her routine is down. Straight through the house to the garage, unless there's cat food out. Then its eat it before getting yelled at then to the garage. But today I carry her and place her on her bed. She doesn't move but has her head raise and tail wagging furiously. I stracth her nose and ask her to just wait till tomorrow and hope for the best. My idignant cat watching from a perch above the cabinets in the gargage.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Unlimited Power

It's 7 am, and the light peaks through the blinds in the bedroom. I barely open my eyes and watch as the light slowly rises through the window and finally a spot lands right on my face. I groan and pull the comforter up to hide myself from the day.

AD's already up and taking a shower. I smell the fresh scent of his lime soap and see steam from the shower. I wiggle my legs and feel the ache from dancing nearly non-stop the night before. We attended a wedding of a friend of ours. It was great, and small just like ours. In fact we helped set it up even in the same place. But everything aside we just got to be guest this time and not worry about anything. It was splendid. As soon as the music came on AD took me to the dance floor. And we danced and danced. Waltz's, two steps, cumbia, bachata, salsa, merengue, fox trot, swing, lets we forget disco and just freestyle to some 80's tunes.

But I will say that my favorite part was just slow dancing while being held close by AD. In fact when the DJ didn't have a song he requested, he went out to the record store down the street and bought it and brought it back. It was the perfect song for all the couples.

But that was yesterday. Today I'm feeling it. I'm really sore. My calves and hips, heck everything waist down is achy. Definitely need to work on the whole endurance work outs at the gym. AD finishes his shower and changes, and kisses me good morning. It's not even 8 am yet. He's a bundle of energy ready for the day. Me, I'm not moving just yet.

AD: I'll make some quick breakie and then put the brakes on your tires and then finish those cabinets for your books.

Me: (with my eyes barely opened and more groaning then speaking) ok

And off he goes. I smell the eggs, bacon and pancakes cooking, while I lay in bed. Albeit AD absolutely hates eggs, he knows how to cook them just the way I like them. I finally rouse myself up and shower and change. I'm in slow mo today. Unlike us, our friend had no booze at her wedding so I went to bed already feeling a bit tired. Oh well.

I head downstairs and find the breakfast AD made. He's already outside in the garage, I hear the clank of tools on the ground. As I peak out the screen door he's already got both back tires off and is already dismantling the brakes. I'm taking my first sip of coffee. I finish eating and thumb through the paper. I clean the kitchen and decide to clean the rest of the house. It takes me forever to vacuum and mop and sweep. By the time I finish sweeping the downstairs, AD is already done with the brakes and is proceeding to wash my car by hand.

I barely start mopping when AD comes in for some water. I yell out to wait outside the door as the floor is wet and I'll bring it to him. He waits patiently and I bring him both water and limeade in a couple of huge mugs. He heads back to the garage. And informs me he'll be right back as he needs to drive my car around and test the brakes. He leaves and I finish mopping. I feel like I'm dancing again swaying back and forth with the mop. This actually helps a little as it loosens up my legs. I bow to the mop in gratitude when I'm finished. This dancing partner doesn't talk back though.

I start dusting by the time AD comes back. The next thing I know I'm hearing the table saw going. He's starting on some cabinets he's going to make for my books and nic-nacs. I told him just to by some shelves but he was insistent on making them himself. I head outside for a bit to check on him. Already nailing the sides together as I approach, he asks what color I want the cabinets painted. I tell him black as it will fit in with the mondern look of the upstairs study.

I then notice a big gash on one of his hands.

Me: What happened? Doesn't it hurt?

AD: Oh I cut my hand on one of the old brake rotors when I took it off your car. It's fine.

Me: Let me bandage that at least.

AD: Well...can you wait till I'm done?

Me: Alright, if it's not hurting you.

I return inside and finish cleaning and doing laundry, washing his laundry still seems foreign to me. I manage to gather enough strength to change the bedding and even wash the used linens. Before I know it AD's bringing the cabinets painted in all to hang. They go up in no time. He gets ready to go grab the boxes of my books and things to put up. I have to stop him.

Me: Wait!

AD: What's the matter?

Me: Just stop for a minute and take a break. I can't believe your not tired.

AD: Oh trust me, my legs feel like jelly.

Me: We can put that stuff up later. Just take it easy okay. What do you want for dinner? As in I'm going to go buy dinner cause I'm not cooking.

After the whole, "I dunno what do you want" with the answer "whatever you want", dilema for about 15 minutes I finally decide we're doing fajitas tonight and head out to get some. BTW the brakes work wonderfully. I actually like the way they feel now then before. By the time I get back AD had already reshowered and changed. We eat and sit on the sofa afterwards.

AD: My legs their killing me.

Me: Hello, mine too.

AD: You didn't get any blisters or nothing did you?

Me: Nah. You?

AD: No.

Before he can say anything else or protest I run and grab some stuff to bandage his hand. I fix it up relatively quickly with little fuss from him. Asides from when I accidently poked it too hard with a Q-tip when cleaning out the cut. Again sorry about that sweetie.

After that we sat on the couch for a while with nothing on. Finally AD got up and turned on the stereo and put on the song he requested last night. And we danced one more time before bed.

Here it is.

Say - John Mayer

Thursday, June 19, 2008

That looks good.....hey!!??

I stopped by the bakery today on the way home to pick up a few things. Whilst there I picked up a few sweets too. Small things but got me a nice Pan de Huevo (you might no them as Conchas), all cocoy and everything.

I get home put the bag down change and come back down stairs. I pour me some punch, (can't do milk), and get a plate and take out my Pan de Huevo. Mmmmmm....it looks good all flaky and coco on it. Then it happens, I turn it around and....BAM!!!

Me: What the? There's a bite taken out of this!!

MTG: I just wanted a taste.

Me: Ah man.

I rifle through the bag and see some of the cookies have nibbles too.

Me: Why didn't you just eat these?

MTG: Like I said, I just wanted a taste.

Me: (sigh)

MTG: It was delicious. Thanks sweety.

Me: Your welcome.

MTG comes over and gives me a kiss, cocoy breath and all. My Pan de Huevo had been corrupted. Corrupted I tells you!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I admit, it was me

Alright MTG here's your answers


Were you named after anyone?

Not like a particular person. It's from the Bible or a Herman Mellville novel. Which many moons ago I when I used to work in customer service, you'd have no idea how many people would quote from either book to see if I knew where my name came from. Yes I know okay. I don't know how many times I had to say, no I'm not muslim, and I'm only Irish on St. Pattys Day.

When was the last time you cried?
When I broke my toe a few months back.

Do you like your handwriting?
Oh god no. Did you see my hand written note post a while back? Even I couldn't really read it.

What’s your favorite lunch meat?
Turkey Pastrami.

Do you have kids?
No. And none for now thank you. This is mutually agreed on. (Yes that is MTG)

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Probably not. Honestly I don't get along with people who are just like me. It's like a magnet, opposites attract (nod to Paula) and like polarity doesn't. Besides if there were two of me I'd have to off the other, I don't like competition.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Who me? As if.

Do you still have your tonsils?
Yep, big thingies in my mouth right. (Wait that doesn't sound right)

Would you bungee jump?
I'm a land animal, my butt stays on the ground at all costs.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
It depends, but rarely do I untie them. My everyday shoes, no, my dress shoes, very much so. I even have the shoe trees for my dress shoes.

Do you think you’re strong?
I suppose. I can bench press MTG for about 5 reps. Though she is a tiny skinny thing.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person?
Their smile, it draws me to them like a moth.

Red or pink?
Blue

What’s your least favorite thing about your body?
My monkey paw. My hands do not straighten. It doesn't hurt or anything but it looks odd when you notice. I tell people its from my cage fighter training and I'm working on my cauliflower ears.

Who do you miss the most?
I don't know if this is good or bad but no one really. Though I do feel sad when away from MTG. (That'll earn me points right?)

What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
Uhm, typing in bed, not wearing either, or much of anything else.

How about your shirt?
See above

What’s the last thing you ate?
Steak and shrimp. The bosses paid a surprise visit and took us out to dinner. Although this should make me happy, I'm actually quite pissed at some ideas their kicking around. Like taking us from offices to a gigantic room and making it into a cube farm. If this really happens I'm so gone. Needless to say I paid for my own drinks tonight as the allotted 2 maximum wasn't going to do.

What are you listening to right now?
Yelle "A Cause Des Garcons"

Who’s the last person you spoke to on the phone?
MTG

If you were a crayon, which color would you be?
Rust

What’s your favorite smell?
Lately some Bath & Body works lotion MTG uses, think its cherry blossom or something. Drives me nuts. Grrrrooowwwllll!!

What’s your favorite sport to watch?
Honestly I don't watch sports, really. I know I should turn in my man card, but sports never interested me. I do say however that I get excited with World Cup and Le Tour de France. Why I like those two sports, I have no idea.

What color is your hair?
It looks Brown, but on closer inspection its red with brown, blonde, and black. Like a calico cat or something. What can I say us gyspies have a diverse background.

What color are your eyes?
Brown

Do you wear contacts?
Nope, just spectacles. I'm still debating about Lasik.

Favorite food?
Steamed rice and sauteed beef tips with brown gravy. MTG/Beth Thai? Bleech!!

What’s your favorite cereal?
Cinnamon Life

What’s your favorite ice cream?
Superman, which is pretty much extinct in this world. If anyone knows where you can get some let me know.

Favorite dessert?
Cheesecake!!!!!!!!! Om nom nom!!

Scary movies or happy endings?
I'm not picky, either will do.

What’s the last movie you watched?
Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dancing and Charm School. MTG had me watch this a little while ago. And truth be told I loved it. So not what I was expecting. Not a girlie movie in the least. And it has that delightful John Goodman. Though it may take a few viewings to put together the bouncing plot.

What book are you reading now?
The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde

Summer or winter?
Winter, dead of.

Hugs or kisses?
Yes please

What’s on your mouse pad?
It's a touch pad, so nothing.

What did you watch on TV last night?
Nothing, didn't watch any.

What’s your favorite sound?
The sound of silence on the weekend when no alarms go off telling me to get to work.

Rolling Stones or Beatles?
Damn, I can't decide that. That's like asking would you rather like water or air.

What’s the farthest you’ve been from home?
Europe

Do you have a special talent?
I can wiggle both my ears.

Where were you born?
On the wagon of a traveling show, my momma used to dance for the money they'd throw.

Who do you want to answer these questions?
Anyone, knock yourselves out.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Beth's meme by MTG

I'm taking up Beth on her meme request. Here you go. (MTG)


Were you named after anyone?

Nope. Just a common girlie name. But a cute one none the less.

When was the last time you cried?
This afternoon, dad was having a procedure done and I was so worried but couldn't get off of work to be with him.

Do you like your handwriting?
I love it. I'm skilled in calligraphy. I'm often asked to write invitations and such for friends. I love writing in different styles.

What’s your favorite lunch meat?
Hmmm...Mickleberry ham.

Do you have kids?
No. And none for now thank you. This is mutually agreed on.

If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
I'd have to warm up to me first. I've been told I kind of give a cold shoulder if you don't really know me. But I'd eventually be my friend. But I'm working on not seeming so serious.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Every day.

Do you still have your tonsils?
I do

Would you bungee jump?
Not so much, no.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Yes I do. But seeing as I'm always in high heels it's not really too big of a problem.

Do you think you’re strong?
I do. I don't let myself get pushed around by anybody. I'm a take charge kinda gal.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person?
the hair. I don't know why but I always remember the hair.

Red or pink?
Red

What’s your least favorite thing about your body?
My obliques. But I'm taking classes to work on them.

Who do you miss the most?
My family, not that I don't see them, but I'm getting used to not seeing them everyday like I did before getting married. Though we do talk everyday.

What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
Just some denim cut-offs.

How about your shirt?
White tank top

What’s the last thing you ate?
Thai

What are you listening to right now?
VHS or Beta, AD got me hooked

Who’s the last person you spoke to on the phone?
Dad

If you were a crayon, which color would you be?
Peach

What’s your favorite smell?
AD's Brooks Brothers cologne. Drive me wild. ;)

What’s your favorite sport to watch?
Basketball

What color is your hair?
Brown

What color are your eyes?
Brown
Do you wear contacts?
Not since I had PRK done a few years back.

Favorite food?
Thai Thai Thai!! (Beth if/when we meet, we will go for Thai. AD hates it but still goes with me.)

What’s your favorite cereal?
Special K with Strawberries.

What’s your favorite ice cream?
Häagen-Dazs caramelized pear and toasted pecan

Favorite dessert?
Tres leches

Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy ending.

What’s the last movie you watched?
Made of Honor

What book are you reading now?
None, haven't had time lately.

Summer or winter?
Summer gal.

Hugs or kisses?
Yes please

What’s on your mouse pad?
Van Gogh

What did you watch on TV last night?
House

What’s your favorite sound?
A margarita being poured

Rolling Stones or Beatles?
Beatles

What’s the farthest you’ve been from home?
Europe

Do you have a special talent?
I've many. But few will see or know of them.

Where were you born?
In Texas (sorry I'm still too scared to give full details of me)

Who do you want to answer these questions?
AD and anyone else who cares to do so.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Vesti la giubba

I suppose everyone keeps something from their past. Some embarrassing pieces of history. Like most packrats I keep a lot of unnecessary junk. Upon organizing our record collection together Mix Tape Girl and I came across THE BOX.

I think just about every man has THE BOX. You know that special place where yo keep cherished memories and or porn. No my box doesn't contain porn, I proudly display that. Just kidding. No my box contains those embarrassing letters, notes, pictures, numbers, trinkets from past girlfriends. And MTG found it, awe crap!

MTG violently shaking THE BOX: "What's in here?"

Me starring like a deer caught in head lights: "Uh"

MTG opens THE BOX and looks at me with a huge grin. Taking the box to the bed she spills the contents out. I sit opposite from her and start looking at all the junk I've accumulated.

MTG: So when did this start?

Me: Years ago, hence the box being an old British Knights shoe box. I just kept trinkets from girls from my past.

MTG: Everyone?

Me: I think so. Even the ones I really didn't like.

MTG: There's so much stuff here. Can you name all of them?

Me: I usually don't kiss and tell but I've nothing to hide so here it goes.

Kathy, Michelle, Beverly, Jessica, Beverly again (yes the same one), Florence, Maria, (picking up Flo's and Maria's pics and pointing out, same year same time, but not really what it sounds like), Laura, Lilliana, Mary, I think I have missed a few.

MTG giggles uncontrollably: What you had one every year?

Me: In school, pretty much yeah.

MTG: No way, I would have never had you pegged for that.

Me: Tiss true. To be honest most of these girls I never really went after, they came to me for whatever reason. Go fig. (It should be noted that as macho as this sounds, it's true. I never went after these girls, the exceptions being Beverly and Michelle. They stalked me, and I have no idea why to this day.)

MTG: What do you mean they stalked you.

Me: Okay take Kathy for instance. I actually didn't really like her. I just gave in.

MTG: How so?

Me: She used to corner me everyday and kiss me and drag me by the arm everywhere with her. Hence when you see her pic (holding up pic) you'll notice the scratched out eyes, the blackend teeth from my pen, and the devil horns. And she told everyone I was her BF and she was going to marry me when we grew up. I should note this is in grade school, I still hate her.

MTG: You so nuts. You're keeping a grudge from grade school?

Me: Yes of course!!

MTG: Okay, Florence next. (Holding up the pic)

Me: Florence was more of a really good friend than a GF for most of the time. Again I never went after her. I just remember the first time she sat in front of me on a bus in school (9th grade) during a field trip and starred at me the whole time. Literally starring at me. I thought she was weird or at least possessed. And then she stalked me during lunch at school, until finally she came and talked to me.

MTG: What?

Me: Yes, she would wait after my last class before lunch and then follow behind me. Like 4 yards back. I caught on and messed with her and made sudden twists and turns and literally ran down the stairs at school to get away at first. Then she finally came up and told me "Are you trying to avoid me?" I dunno how but we became instant best friends after that.

MTG laughing uncontrollably: Are you nuts? You hooked up with this girl who was obviously stalking you?

Me: Well..when you put it that way. Yeah. But she really was nice, and my only ever asian girlfriend.

MTG crying as she's laughing so much. Sorting through the pictures and picks one up: This one.

I grab the picture and look at it. It's Laura, I look at our picture hugging each other. Oh man.

Me: This is Laura. I will honestly say asides from you, this is my only other serious relationship.

MTG gets quiet.

Me: This is when my gypsy family moved out to the middle of nowhere USA (Think rural like Napoleon Dynamite), where the only school activities were the FFA or nothing. I was actually in the in crowd when I moved there. I suppose because I came from the big city. Lets just say Laura taught me a lot about growing up. "Vesti la giubba".

MTG: Put on the costume?

Me: It's a thing I will alway remember. I would say that if by some odd chance we would have stayed there things would have gotten really serious between us.

MTG: Like married?

Me: Maybe. I dunno. But as always my crazy gypsy family decided to move again just as I was getting comfortable. Pulling me out of school without warning and taking off.

MTG: Did you get to say goodbye at least?

Me: Briefly. I think she thought I was playing. Never saw her again. I spent the following year being anti-social and wearing a hoodie and black jeans everyday in protest for moving so much. That's when Lilliana stepped in. (I hold up Lilly's pic)

MTG takes Laura's pic and the others and the trinkets, boondoggle key chains, slap bracelets, notes and puts them back in the box. The box is pretty much falling apart.

MTG: I'll put this back where I found it.

Me: No you can toss it. I don't need it anymore.

MTG: But it has stuff from your past.

Me: I don't need stuff from girls from my past. I have a future with you, so what's the point. I'll always have my memories. Unless I get Alzheimer's.

MTG: Are you sure? I don't care if you keep it. It doesn't bother me.

Me: I'm sure. (I say while sorting through more of our CD's we're combining) You know between us we have like 4 albums of "Fleetwood Mac". Do you want to take a couple to trade at CD Exchange?

MTG: Yes, put it in the exchange pile on the table.

Me: BTW do you have a BOX?

MTG: I have no such thing. My trinkets are out in the open.

Me: Huh?

MTG: You see those ceramic gnomes? Let me tell you about them.

Me: Oh dear....


On another note, shout out to Coaster Punchman for the shout out on his blog. Like I say I felt like I won an Oscar when he mentioned me. I don't mind being stalked by other awesomely awesome bloggers. Go have a look over at his blog when you have a chance. Can't go wrong there. Oh and on a side side note, CP is the only person to ever have talked to Mix Tape Girl, via the Mary Tyler Moore Service. Which she loved by the way. Though CP you might not have know you talked to MTG at the time. Just thought you might like to know.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

So what are you waiting for?

Yay, finally back home. I'd bore you with all the wedding details but that's not me. MTG can handle that if she so desires. Very jet-lagged and really p.o'ed at my stupid laptop. Vista sucks, it's turning my word docs into unreadable formats,and it seemed to have erased or changed the format and saved the wedding/vacation/honeymoon pics in some unfindable place. Vista I hate you. Fortunately MTG has a back up on her trusty XP. Damn you Windows I will have revenge.

Anyways, today I got my first real feel for what this marriage business is all about. Things have been rosey but now I understand what dad and grandpa and every other male relative and married friend meant by being patient and understanding.

After coming home and finding rotting fruit, expired milk, moldy bread, and a slew of other perishables, that had perished, we went to the grocery store. Not that we've never gone together before but this time I learned something, I mean really learned something.

We had our list and were going down the isles. Me pushing the cart and MTG grabbing this and that. Asking me which do I prefer. Which I find funny as when I used to go with my mum as a kid, it was never, "Which do you prefer?" No, no, it was. "Grab the generic brand!" (Back then generic was this white plain package with no pictures or colour, just like "POTATO CHIPS" in black bold letters.) And my complaining, "Why can't we get real chips?" solicited the response, "You'll get what I feed you." Thusly I feel spoiled when MTG asks me which brand of a certain item I prefer. To be honest I'm used to generic, but I'm easy that way.

So anyways we get most our items and head to the register. We pass the pharmacy and on the way and MTG stops. "I forgot to get shampoo. Wait for me here." No problem, the shampoo and soaps are just a few isles over. I see MTG take off in that direction.

About 15 minutes pass and I'm standing by the pharmacy still. I try to act cool, but its hard as I'm left standing by the condoms, adult lube, and deodorant. I'd reach over to act like I'm reading the ingredients of some vitamins but they are no where near by, so I'm left staring at the brightly coloured condom boxes marked, ribbed, small, medium, large, and oddly enough this store carries flavoured condoms too. So I stand there feeling like a perv. About 5 minutes later I'm joined by and elderly gentleman and a middle aged man. Apparently this is a popular spot to leave your spouse, whilst a wife goes and get things she 'forgot'.

The two other gentlemen sit down opposite the isle on the pharmacy waiting seats. I start getting annoyed. I take out my mobile and call MTG. Her mobile rings in her purse which is still in the basket that I'm watching. 'Damn it" I mutter to myself. The two men chuckle. I think about going and trying to find her but then think that if I leave the spot she told me then she'd go looking for me and we'd be staying even longer. I think it best to keep staring at the condoms. I can't help to think that it was my older brother who taught me about condoms and not my dad. And how his advice to me was, "Don't get XL. Medium or Large will do. XL are for porn stars with horse dicks." This information was much more poignant than my dad's talk about sex which went like, "You know about sex right?" I respond, "Yes, don't right now." To which dad replied, "Glad we had this talk."

The older gentleman finally tells me, "You might as well sit down, she'll be a while longer." I smile and take his advice. My legs are getting sore from standing in the same spot for nearly 40 minutes. My hands have the store logo imprinted on them from leaning on the basket.

The middle-aged gentleman asked, "Just married?" "Yes," I reply softly, "Barely a month." "This'll happen all the time," the older man says. "You mean, just leaving me here while she goes and gets something?" I reply. They both answer together, "Yup."

The older gentleman, gets up and fishes a bag of cookies from his basket. He sits back down and opens them up, taking one out and offering the other gentleman and I some. I accept, quickly munching down the Mother's Frosted Animal Shortbread cookies. I remind myself to pick some up before we leave...when we leave.

"60" years says the older gentleman. "34" says the other. "3 weeks," I mutter. They both laugh. "You'll figure it out" the middle-aged man says, the older nodding his head in agreement. I'm told about their wives and kids while we wait, being given pearls of wisdom. Before long the middle-aged gentleman's wife comes to collect him. MTG and the older gentleman's wife happen to come back at the same time. "Just remember to get something to snack on while you wait", the older gentleman tells me while we part. "I will" I reply.

MTG: "Who's that?"

Me: "Just a nice man I met while waiting for you."

"Oh. Sorry I took so long. I found some nice pants for your nephew while on my way to the shampoo. And then this was on sale.....blah, blah,blah" I nod my head while she talks not really taking it in.

Me: "Can we get some animal cookies before we go?

MTG:"Yeah okay."