Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Trouble Me

The night is warm and the air conditioner is blowing cool air on the bed. AD's been knocked out since 6 pm. I watch as he sleeps, his chest slowly rising and falling. I feel guilty because I know its me that has him so exhausted.

I reach over and take off his glasses. He fell asleep with them on and they are making little marks on his face. He slightly moans as I remove them from his face. I can't help but caress his stubble a little and trace the outline of his lips. He somehow smiles though he's sound asleep. Exhausted from taking me to the doctors office weekly and picking up my meds, and taking up all the extra slack that I usually try to do for us.

I feel guilty as I keep him up till past midnight almost every night simply to talk. I get up and grab his cover from the closet and place it over him. He remains motionless, and snores just slightly audible. I decide to head down stairs so not to disturb him, and kiss him before I walk downstairs.

Hunger reaches me as I get to the kitchen. I realize that I really haven't eaten a meal all day. I fix myself some tuna sandwiches and turn on the TV. "On the Waterfont" is playing on AMC and I keep the volume so low that it's hardly even audible. Not really paying attention I concentrate more on eating my sandwiches. The tuna tastes good to me, as I rarely ever eat it.

I think to myself that things are now pretty much back to normal. We went to Florida and had a wonderful time. Then I came back and got sick, and well things happen. But it's all over now. AD going out of his way to make sure that I was okay the entire time. I put the doctors visits and hospital stays out of my mind and stare at the ceiling, the light from the TV flickering and causing shadows.

The movie quickly loses my interests and I turn off the TV and sit in the light of the lamp that's on. I take another bite of my sandwich and chew it slowly, the silence of the room getting to me. Not able to take the silence I turn on the stereo. 10,000 Maniacs plays and I relax on the couch, staring at my half eatten sandwich.

I hear a loud commotion from upstairs. AD is up and rushes downstairs looking upset.

AD: What time is it what day is it?

Me: It's 9.

AD: 9!! 9!! I'm late for work, why didn't you wake me up?!! Crap Crap Crap!!

Me:'s 9 PM Weds. It's not tomorrow yet.

AD: Oh....I thought I was running late for work. Sacred myself there for a moment.

Me: Silly boy.

AD sits next to me, his hair a mess.

Me: Can you see?

AD: Huh?

Me: Your glasses?

AD: I didn't even notice, completely forgot them.

Me: They on the dresser on my side. You fell asleep with them on.

AD: Thanks.

We sit on the couch, Trouble Me playing now. AD finishes my sandwhiches. I place my head between his shoulder and neck, smelling his cologne. We listen to the rest of the CD, as I fall asleep on AD's shoulder. I rouse myself when AD finally gets up to turn off the stereo. I smile as he picks up the plate and cup that I used, even though I tried to pick them up first.

Me: Don't spoil me too much. I can turn into a brat.

AD: It's okay.

AD: Thanks for taking care of me.

Me: Uhm...isn't that the other way around?

AD: No I don't think so.

Me: If you say so.

AD: I do.