5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.....

I pull into my drive way. The garage opens and I pull in, there's boxes of party stuff all over the place. I try my best to avoid smashing anything.

As I walk into the courtyard I can see all the wedding supplies and table sets all over the living room. I open the door and some of the specialty napkins for the tables scatter about off the sofa. A bunch of my family wanted to throw a bachelors party, but I wasn't up for it. Not to say that they aren't currently having one without me. The last thing I feel like doing is getting drunk tonight.

The house was filled with relatives all week, but everyone left today to stay with other relatives so MTG and myself have our home to ourselves. Though tonight MTG is staying at her parents house one final time.

I remembered to pick up my tux from the cleaners as MTG was reminding me to do all day. I feel itchy because I had a hair cut too and haven't had a chance to bathe. All I could think of is everything that we did today. I place the folder with the new marriage license on the counter. I put my keys on it so that I won't forget to take it tomorrow afternoon. Note to self take this document or else the J.P. won't be happy.

I finally shower and change. Fortunately they let us into the venue we rented for tomorrow, today so we can set most everything up. But I still have to get up early and do more things. All the tables are set up, chairs, most of the arrangements, flower thingies.

I head down stairs and force myself to eat something. I'm too nervous to eat, but I know if I don't I won't feel well in a while. I heat me up a few left overs and pour me an extra large Jack and Coke.

I'm thinking about earlier when MTG was starting to go banana's. I had to pull her aside and tell her to calm down, cause when she's getting nervous she was making me nervous and everyone else nervous and we weren't getting anywhere. We got through it. I think we drove around the city about 15 times today. I had to fill up my car twice.

I pop in Lost in Translation for no reason other than I love Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson. It's only dialogue and I'm basically ignoring it anyways. I find myself wrapping more eating utensils as I sit and watch the movie, taking care to make the bows around the napkins just like MTG's mom showed me to do. I also find that I'm quickly running out of Jack and Coke and go pour me some more.

I come across some table decorations that I have no idea how they work. I decide it best not to mess with them and have my mom or MTG's mom tell me how to set them up tomorrow. The Jack finally kicks in and I start to feel a little relaxed, not much but anything helps. I can't help but think of all the family and friends who were kinda upset that we didn't register anywhere. I told them what for, we didn't need anything.

I giggle as I think about the baker who is doing our cake and how he looks exactly like the Swedish Chef. How MTG and I had to hold back from laughing the whole time we went to check on the cake today. Fortunately he can bake and only looks like the Swedish Chef. I get a call from my uncle about the briskets he's cooking overnight for tomorrow. Asking me about certain sides to prepare. We figure it out pretty quick. My dad and my uncles will be up all night cooking. But they insist on doing it, and I don't protest.

My best friend who is the DJ for our wedding calls me with any last minute changes to the set playlist, and what kind of stuff to play when we let him decide. I make one request for later on in the night. I ask for Daft Punk's "Da Funk", because I have to break dance one more time.

I finish what I'm doing down stairs and wash the dishes. I feel odd because I have no music on and the movie is the only noise I can hear. I turn off the movie and head upstairs. Taking the tux from it's suit bag and arranging the shirt and bow tie and shoes and everything just so for tomorrow.

I notice all of MTG's things are basically here now. My one closet to her three. When we moved it all in earlier this week she joked that she was marrying me for the closet space. I knew about her shoes but didn't think she could fill one closet full of them. I turn on the stereo but turn it off. I can't find anything that I can play that doesn't make me antsy or nervous.

I lay down on my bed alone, one last time. It seems odd but I gotten used to MTG being here. I decide to try sleeping in the middle like I used to but somehow end up on the side of the bed I've seemed to have unconsciously chosen. I'm tired but I can't sleep. I toss and turn and see the clock. It's barely after 10 pm. I hear nothing from the speakers,which is odd because there is always music. I notice the lights from my cell phone, the cable box the TV standby, the stereo, and various electronics. They light the room eerie greens, blues and reds. I decided that's what's keeping me awake and get up and either unplug or cover the lights up so I can't see them. It doesn't help. I lie awake staring at the ceiling fan make shadows out of the dim light from the window. I can't sleep.

After a few minutes my mobile beeps to tell me a text has been received. It's MTG. "Can't sleep. Hope you're okay. I love you. See you tomorrow morning." I close the phone without responding. A few seconds later it beeps again. MTG is reminding me of more things we have to get done early tomorrow. I simply reply with an "K luv u 2". I set my alarm for 5:15 am, which should give me time to do some things before life gets officially turbo.

I can't stand the silence and put the stereo to random. I giggle to myself and tap my toes as Bananarama plays first. I lay in silence and think of nothing as Jeff Buckley strums on his guitar. And I find myself slowly falling asleep as Frank Sinatra sings to the girl he loves.

"Officer the cuffs are hurting me"...

Most stories worth listening to end with that line. This one won't. Nyah, nyah!! Fooled ya!! Don't worry about seeking revenge though, I've more than suffered enough these past few days to make up for it.

After my last post I was feeling splendid. Just dandy. Then I went to visit my mum and dad the following day. They were babysitting my nephew for my brother and sister-in-law. My dad had a cold and my nephew had just gotten over some sort of stomach virus. I should've turned around and left. But no I stuck around and later that night, I was crapping, vomiting and sneezing my brains out. Damn it I was sick!! And didn't sleep all night. Literally, I was up at 1:08 am, 2:08 am, 3:08 am, 4:09 am. And of course running a high fever that practically had me hallucinating. Ack!!

MTG, spending as much time as she can with her nana (who's terminal), wasn't there for me to complain to. So basically I spent two day Thurs and Friday laying in bed all day. Every time I got up to walk I'd end up going sideways. Grrrrr!!! And now to make it worse my hips hurt cause I keep falling asleep on my sides without moving. (long story) I felt a little better today so I headed back to my parents house. They were making tamales, I'm not one to pass up free food.

But when I got there fever struck and I ended up sprawled out on the couch barely able to move. Friends of my mum coming and going, walking right past my as I lay there nearly dying. In some cases putting purses on me, (literally on me) to watch for them. So turning on HGTV-HD on and putting the volume to the lowest setting, I lay there awaiting for the Coach de Bauer to come and give me a ride. As things turned out I didn't croak but I ended up just laying there, and as things usually turn out people start talking and one subject leads to another and then that subject invariably leads to you.

Mums Friend: "So I after that little girl embarrassed me, I told my sister from now on you're taking your own child to the doctor."

Mum: "Oh that reminds me of A.D., he always passes out when they stick him with needles."

Me: (Here we go again.)

My mum continuing to tell of all the times I've passed out from needles, syringes to be exact. Yes I am freaked by them. But only when directed at me. To be used by someone else I could care less. It's fight or flight, and since I can't exactly punch a nurse the flight it passing out and forgetting the whole thing. Though I did fight back when I was little, so much so that my mum, dad and anyone else around had to literally hold me or in a rare case strap me down to give me my shots while I screamed bloody murder, like, "Don't kill me!! I thought you loved me!!!" And then when they were done I was like, "Oh that was it?" Although seeing the white scared faces on the kids in the waiting room walking out (after hearing my ordeal) was fun. Muahahahahaha!!!

But the subject quickly changed and it wandered to our old gypsy days, living an a caravan. Like one of these:


Just kidding it was more like:


Ha Ha! Just kidding again, it was more like this, without the fancy add-ons, we at least had the skirting though:


It was memories long since forget, well not forgotten, but not the fondest either. And it got me thinking of when we parked it for a year in a caravan retirement park. Right on the edge across from an empty lot, and abandoned house that drunks, druggies, and all manner of vile creatures (human to be exact) would use during the night. Oh and to make it better right across the street to the corner diagonal to my room was the skankiest nude bar in town (since shut down). Although when your 12 with a new telescope, well you get the picture, but lets just say after a couple of looks it wasn't worth it. Like if you've ever seen The Cowboys where the two boys are talking about a whore house they peaked into and one says, "and that ladies bellybutton was as big as my fist" and John Wayne comes up behind him and says, "yeah I've been there myself years ago, probably the same lady" and the boys both look like hacking, yup, just like that. Besides that fatal drunken accidents, and nightly shootings were everyday happenings. Though a bullet through your room while you sleep is another thing. (It's bad enough crooks can't read addresses at night but when you have to yell at them through your window that the house they want to shoot at is next door, well that's just sad. Getting the "Ops..Sorry" was worse.)

Now seeing that there was a dark evil abandoned house across the street directly outside my room, you might think that I'd be scared. I was at first but with the telescope I'd get brave and see what was happening at night. Just average ghetto banter, druggies, drunks, homeless, prostitutes, people driving up and dropping off old trash, couches, ice boxes, etc, then driving off. But it was fun when some dummy disturbed the natural widlife that inhabited the house that really made watching worth while. Nothing like seeing a couple of crack heads run for their lives while being chased by rabid raccoons or freaky possums or how can I forget the guy gettting ready to get his thing on while his newly hired "woman" and then hitting the giant hornets nest and running out of the house with welts on his bum. This was actually in broad daylight. Needless to say we didn't spend long in that area.

So I thought about these things while lying there. Finally passing out and waking up sometime later, not even hungry and going home instead. So you may ask why on earth am I blogging about this at 12:56 am? Well here's why.

MTG: Oww!! What the? (digging under her blanket and pulling out a rubik's cube)

Me: Opps sorry I left that there.

MTG getting up and finding more stuff. Three remotes, a couple of books a magazine, Playstation wireless controler, mp3 player, cd player, box of tissue, headphones, several CD's, lint roller, and I think some change.

MTG: I've been gone for two days and you put all your stuff on my side of the bed?

Me: (saying jokingly of course) Last time I checked it was all my bed. (Thinking again: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!!!)

MTG without hesitation dropped an elbow into my gut. Then proceeded to place all my junk on top of me.

Me: What happened to the nice "get better sweetie, and think of me" you said yesterday?

MTG: That was before you said something stupid.

Me: I'm sorry. I'll stop saying stupid things.

MTG just looking at me.

Me: Most stupid things anyways.

Me lying there with stuff on me, rattling with every move. Staring at the ceiling. Sneezing, obviously keeping MTG awake.

Me: I can't sleep.

MTG: Well go do something that'll make you sleep.

And here we are. "Officer the cuffs are hurting me..."