World Finest Mark Up

The door bell is pressed, (Westminster Abbey chimes through the house)

I open the side door and step out into the courtyard and walk to the gate. A young boy is standing there with a box of World's Finest Chocolate. I've seen this kid, one of the very few in the neighborhood. (Ok I admit I live in a semi-old people place. Mostly anyone my age is either artists with no kids or people who never stop working. The rest really are old folks, which is fine with me, I'm not a huge child person. Don't get me wrong I like kids, just only for a little while.) Where was I? Oh yes. The kid I've seen him before.

Me: Hey, what's up?

Kiddo: Hello sir. Wanna buy some chocolate?

Me: Oh World's Finest! I love that stuff.

Kiddo: Each bar is only a $1.50

Me: Wow, they've gone up. Used to be just a buck.

Kiddo: Yeah well you know with the economy and all.

I look at the box. He scratched off $1.00 and wrote $1.50.

Me: Hey wait a mintue. You scratched off the original price. What are you trying to pull? Are you even selling this for school?

Kiddo: Yeah it's for school. But I need some cash for myself too. Why, what do you care? I want a new video game.

Me: That's a heck of a mark-up, 50%.

Kiddo: I'm ambitious.

Me: Maybe I'll just buy it from some other kid.

Kiddo: I don't think so.

Me: Why not?

Kiddo: Because I'm the only kid in this whole place that's selling this stuff. I've cornered the market!! Ha!!

Me: Where do you get this stuff from? Am I on TV?

Kiddo: What are you talking about? Are you smoking something? If so then you probably really want this candy.

Me: I mean where do you get this whole, "I'm cornering the market" stuff?

Kiddo: I read my dad's Wallstreet Journal.

Me: What, why?

Kiddo: To get ideas to make money, duh!

Me: How old are you?

Kiddo: 11.

Me: And you got this whole business plan from reading that stuff.

Kiddo: Yep and movies.

Me: I dare not ask.

Kiddo: The art of good business is being a good middleman.

Me: Layercake

Kiddo: Yep

(looking about for a camera just in case)

Kiddo: Look you gonna buy some or not?

Me: I suppose I don't have a choice, seeing as no one else has them do I?

Kiddo: That's sound about right.

Me: All right, then give me three.

Chocolate and money exchange hands.

Kiddo: Thanks sir.

Me: You'll make a good middle-man someday or gypsy.

Kiddo: I already am.

Me: Let me know when you corner the market on Thin Mints.

Kiddo: That can be arranged, I can work out a deal with my sister.

Kids say the darndest things, & Today's Hymn is "Light My Fire"

I had a very interesting conversation with one of my friends kids while I watched them Friday night. We were talking about dreams for whatever reason. Here's a snippet of a dream that one of my friends kids told me. Note that this kid is like 8 years old. But he's fun

K: Do you dream?

Me: Yes

K: What about?

Me: I dunno, stuff.

K: Do you dream about your girlfriend?

Me: (looks blankly and surprised) Wha...?

K: Girls do you dream about girls?

Me: Uh..sometimes......(trying not to laugh)

B: (Who is K's older brother, he's 9) Tell him about your dream, I dare you.

K: Nah..

B: Do it

Me: You have to tell me now, I'm curious.

K: (Blushes)

B: He dreams about girls

Me: Is that so

K: (giggling) Yeah

Me: Tell, tell, tell

K: No way

Me: Aww..come on don't hold out on me.

B: Yeah K do it. Stop being chicken

K: Nah

B & Me: Tell, Tell, Tell!!!

K: Alright,,geeze

B: This is funny

Me: Ok go

K: I had this dream that I was taking about bath with 4 girls from my class

Me: (horrified look on my face, but trying not to bust out laughing)

B: Were you naked?

K: Well duh, we were taking a bath

B: Hah, hah, you like girls.

Me: What the? Were did this come from?

K: I dunno

Me: Yeah, I honestly don't know what to say to that

B: He has like 4 girlfriends in class

Me: What???

K: I cut back I had six

Me: (Blank stare)

Me: (after regaining memory) Uh...lets play on the Playstation instead ok guys

B & K: Yeahhh!!!!

Those wacky kids. I need to have a talk with their dad about K. He's turning into a little casanova.

I visited with my dad this weekend before going to a party with MTG. Though I thought that my mum would be home too. But she was at work. I took my dad to Wal-Mart to get some things. On the way there, Jose Feliciano's version of "Light My Fire" came on, and my dad couldn't help but sing along.

Dad: I love this song.

Me: I know

Dad: Light my fire, light my fire, light my fire (imitating Jose)

Me: (giggling)

Dad: What's so funny?

Me: You don't remember do you?

Dad: Remember what?

Me: A long time ago at church, we got up to sing a hymn. And I guess you were bored or not paying attention or whatever. Half-way through the hymn, you were singing, "Light my fire, Light my Fire, Light My Fire"

Dad: I did?

Me: Yes remember? Mum and I were laughing so hard we were crying, and we had to leave during the middle of the thing cause we couldn't stop laughing. And you didn't even realize you were saying "Light My Fire".

Dad: Oh yeah...I remember now. Vaguely

Me: Vaguely? We've never been back to church since. That was like 13 years ago.

Dad: Shhh...Jose's on.

Thus this is probably why I haven't been to church in ages. God forbid I show up and insult the Almighty by singing Doors tunes, or some other band while there.

Oh, I went to a party this weekend too. A graduation party for a guy I can't stand. It sucked. The end.